Deciding If You Should Stay with Your Cheating Husband

It’s difficult to find out that your husband has cheated on you. Even more difficult is having to decide what you want to do about your marriage now that you know the truth.  The choice you make should be one that helps you heal, and sometimes that choice will also help you heal your marriage. Ask yourself the following questions to figure out if you should stay in your marriage or leave it.

• What will make you the happiest in the end? The fact that your husband was unfaithful will make this a hard question to answer because, currently, you’re hurt, angry and may even hate him a little. However, you shouldn’t focus on what you want to do immediately. Revenge probably feels pretty good at first but that’s not going to make you happiest in the long term.
• What do you think about when you look at your past with this man? Thinking about the past after you find out about the affair is perfectly normal. When you think about how the two of you were in the past, pay attention to what you’re thinking about the most. Are you focusing more on the good times you had together or the bad times? This can show you how you really feel and what you may want to do about the future of your marriage.
• Do you still love him or is it something else you feel? When you ask yourself if you still love your husband, the answer is one you should take note of. Obviously, you were in love with him when you married him but sometimes past feelings can be mistaken for current ones. Both you and your husband have changed and grown over the years. Does your husband still have some of the things you fell in love with? Are you still passionately in love with him or have you entered into a comfortable routine? Are you confusing love with a fear of the unknown or comfort? Finally, is your heart broken or just your ego?
• How is the situation affecting your family? If there are children involved, how will your choice to leave or stay affect them? Most parents try to hide bad things from their kids. However, children are more intuitive than most parents think so they’ll know if something isn’t right. If you feel that you can’t accept and forgive your husband’s cheating eventually, you’ll need to think about how healthy the environment will be for them.
• If you leave, will you be able to heal? Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, you’ll still need to heal. A lot of women find out that leaving their husbands before taking time for healing will only lead to more failed relationships in the future. You can’t avoid taking all of the trust issues, hatred and disappointment into another relationship even when the new man hasn’t done anything wrong.

Healing from the ultimate betrayal takes time, strength and perseverance no matter what your final decision. Just keep in mind that the healing is to help YOU, not your husband.  If you decide that you want to stay with your husband, a great self-help course to help you heal is How To Survive An Affair.  It’s a step-by-step system for saving your relationship after an affair, so if you decide to go this route, it’s much better than trying to do it all on your own.