Dating a Friend – What To Look Out For

There are many situations where a simple friendship can become something more – having known somebody for a long time you realize how well you get on, and feel an inkling that there is something more there. It is a situation that needs to be treated with some caution, however. There is no doubt that a relationship that begins as simple friendship can go on to be absolutely fantastic. For a start, you know that you have things in common and that you can spend time together. It is easy to convince yourself that it would be even better if you took your friendship to “the next level”. It is important, however, to allow yourself to realize that it doesn’t always work out the way you would have hoped.

Numerous people have begun or tried to begin a relationship based on a close friendship and found that it did not work as they would have hoped. The “spark” between a couple is not always the same as a “spark” between two friends, although there are similarities. It is worth talking things over, honestly and maturely, and seeing if it is what you both really want. The danger when a friendship becomes a relationship, is that the relationship may end for any number of reasons and can put the friendship in jeopardy. Trying to make something great into something even better can leave you with nothing at all.

If you decide to give it a go, then it has certainly been shown that it can work wonderfully. As long as you go into it with your eyes open, it can work that way for you too.

Be Yourself – A Cliché, But A True Cliché

The undeniable truth that everyone who has ever had a bad date can tell you is that sometimes the spark just is not there, no matter how much you want it to be. A personal connection is not something that you can manufacture and if it isn’t there at all on the first date, the chances of it appearing later on are limited. Rather than blaming anyone, or trying to invent a feeling that isn’t really there, sometimes calling time and parting the ways is the most grown-up reaction. It is easy to get drawn into believing that you need to conform to a certain stereotype, and go into a date with that in mind. This strategy is doomed to fail.

One of the most frequently used pieces of advice anyone will ever hear is “be yourself”. It has been known to send individuals into a furious rage at the mere use of the first syllable. People do not like cliché, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes clichés become clichés because they are true. And you would be well advised to always try to be yourself, for one very good reason if nothing else – eventually, if you put on an act, that act will come to pieces. At that point it is a lot more difficult to regain your dignity and someone else’s trust than if you were honest to begin with.

You can’t make anyone like you if there is no connection there – but if someone is going to like you, it’s better that they like you for you.

The Drawbacks of Online Dating

It is difficult to meet the right person in this day and age, and is not made easier by the pressures placed on us not only by friends and family, but also by most television shows and print media, a fair percentage of songs, books and films, and almost every advertisement you see. It is easy to understand why people will look to the Internet to solve the problem. Being able to use the Internet to look for love removes a lot of the hurdles from the process. However, the process is far from foolproof.

Even before Internet dating became a popular method of looking for the right person, there was a swell of opposition to it. Someone who appeared charming and well-mannered on the Internet could, it was argued, be horrible in person. The Internet allows a certain amount of your character to stay hidden. The old cliché of a 53-year-old man posing as a 21-year-old may be a well-worn one, but only because there have been cases where that exact thing has happened – and worse things than that are not unknown.

Even if a potential dating partner does not deliberately mislead with their profile, they can turn out to be missing a certain spark “in the flesh”, sometimes because their personality comes across better when they have time to think about their responses. Some people are just shy. If you persist with them, they may come out of their shell – but a judgement call has to be made at some point, and you cannot wait forever for that glowing personality to replicate itself in the here and now.