Opposites Really DO Attract

Several years, singer/dancer/choreographer and American Idol judge, Paula Abdul had a little hit song called “Opposites Attract.”  The whimsical video that was filmed for the song showed Paula as being in love with a cartoon animal, thus the theme of opposites being attracted to each other. It was all very cute and the song was very popular. However, there was a much deeper meaning rooted in this song and it carried a very real truth.

This truth is that people with opposite personality types can, and do, attract each other all the time. Not only that, but these relationships seem to be some of the most successful ones on record. What does this say about the theory that all couples should have many things in common?  Actually, it doesn’t  say anything at all about that. Rather, this shows that people of different personality types can complement each other by tempering the more radical parts of their partner’s personality as well as livening up the more sedate and even boring portions. That’s when it works the best.

Obviously, commonality is a huge factor when it comes to making a relationship work out successfully. When people have some things in common, they’ll always have something to talk about and do together. It gives them a chance to bond over something and that connection will always be there. However, there’s also the matter of a couple having TOO much in common with each other. That’s when opposites can make for a much livelier and more interesting relationship.

Couples with opposite personalities can many times enjoy much more active relationships with each other than if they had a lot of things in common. Sometimes it takes just the right amount of commonality and differences to make a relationship all it should be.

However, there can be some couples that really are so opposite that it’s amazing that they ever got together in the first place. Yet, you can tell just how happy they are in the way they look at and interact each other. They’re clearly perfect with each other.

That’s why you should never discount someone just because they don’t think exactly the way you do. They may actually provide the fodder for lively debates between you. Words can be some of the strongest and most effective foreplay that you’ll find anywhere, and when you’re forced into using them, you may find that this person who is nothing like you is one of the most exciting people you’ve ever met in your life. Let that feeling take hold and use the mental stimulation you get from arguing your point of view.

That can be just the beginning for you and your new friend. When you allow yourself to think outside of the box and let this new person into your life, it may be one of the most amazing events you’ve ever experienced. Enjoy your encounter with this opposite personality and see where it takes you. It’s very possible that this is the person meant to take you down the path you’ve always wanted to travel.

Is It Love? Or Lust?

Love or Lust?

When you get involved with someone it is often hard to tell in the beginning if you are infatuated with them or if you are in fact falling in love with them. One reason this is so difficult to discern is because many of the signs of love and infatuation are pretty close to the same. It is not until some time has passed that you can really tell the difference and by then it is often too late to do much about it.

When you first meet a person you may feel drawn to that person. This is often defined as being attracted to someone. The more you talk to this person the more drawn you feel making you want to spend more time with them. The more time you spend together the stronger this connection becomes. This is where you have to be careful because things can get kind of confusing at this point.

At this point you may find that you have trouble going to sleep at night or you are not really interested in eating much. For that matter very few things interest you if they do not involve the person that you have suddenly found yourself so attracted to. While this is technically referred to as being lovesick this does not necessarily mean that you are in love.

When you reach this stage you often find yourself jumping when the phone rings hoping it is your ‘other half’ and feeling huge disappointment when you discover that it isn’t. This is fairly normal in new relationships and doesn’t really give you a definitive answer either way on whether it is love or lust.

During this time you find yourself forever checking your appearance making sure everything is perfect when you know you are going to see this other person. When you are at this stage of a relationship you think everything about each other is perfect and the conversation never stops. You never get tired of spending time together and find that you just can’t seem to keep your hands to yourselves.

Even at this point it is often difficult to tell the difference between true love and lust. But after a couple of months the answers begin to become a little clearer. It is at this time that the ‘newness’ begins to wear off of the relationship. You begin to notice that you can tolerate being apart more than before. This does not necessarily mean that you are not in love but it does mean that the relationship is not as intense as it was in the beginning.

Now is when you will start to be able to tell the difference between love and lust. If your relationship has progressed to this point yet you still want to spend time with each other this is a good sign that it might be more than just a fleeting infatuation. The important thing is that you allow the relationship to get to this point before getting carried away to the point that you are already making wedding plans. Don’t rush it, and let the relationship flourish naturally before you make any long term commitments.

Signs You're Falling In Love

Is it Love? How do I know if I am in love, you wonder? What if it’s just an infatuation that will burn itself out or just some physical chemistry that will be short lived?

Here are some things to ask yourself – Answering these things thoughtfully and honestly will help you know if you are in love.

The first question to ask yourself, if you’re thinking, “How do I know if I am in love?” is “Would I have the strength to let him or her go if I knew it was the best thing for my partner?” In other words, if you were to find yourself embarking on a career that would take you to a place where your partner has expressed she’d be miserable, would you be strong enough to end the relationship, knowing that if you didn’t she’d try to tag along and try to be happy?

Such a circumstance might be your army career transfer to Anchorage, when your partner suffers from SADD. You can’t do much about your army career. If you would be willing to tell her you can’t see her anymore so that she’d find someone who would join her in a hot sunny climate, then you may well be in love. (On this note, there are plenty of singles who are looking for military men and women, so you may want to visit All Military Dating .com to find someone who appreciates your military lifestyle!)

Another question to ask yourself, if you’re wondering, “How do I know if I am in love?” is “Would I be willing to wait for her or him if she says she is not ready to have sex with me yet?” If your answer is “Hell no, I need my sex life,” then it’s not love.

Another question that would be very important in your determination of whether you are in love is “Would I stop feeling the same way about this handsome man if he got fat or bald?” or “Would I still want to be with this voluptuous, beautiful woman if she gained fifty pounds and turned gray?” The fact is that those things have a better than even chance of occurring in a long term relationship. If you’re not able to say, and convince yourself that it’s true, that no matter what she or he looks like on the outside, you’ll still love what he or she is on the inside, then you’re not in love, and in certainly doesn’t bode well for your future together.

If you’re thinking “How do I know if I am in love?” ask yourself what dreams of yours – if any – you’d be willing to give up, or set aside temporarily – to help your partner fulfill hers or his? If the answer is none, then you’re definitely not in love. Love is about compromise, and, in fact, sometimes it’s about being happier making your partner’s wishes come true and seeing her or his happiness than seeing your own dreams fulfilled.