Why Doesn’t He Call After A Great Date?

Nearly every woman has gone through this scenario: You go out with a new guy and have an absolutely amazing time. It seems that you have everything in common and the chemistry is off the charts. After spending the evening together at dinner and a movie, or a club, he takes you home and you invite him in. Whether you sleep with him or not, there’s at least a lot of making out. By the time he goes home, you’re certain you’ve just found your Mr. Right. The next day you wait and wait for your phone to ring. It rings, but it’s never him. In fact, you never see or hear from him again. What happened?

Well, the truth of the matter is that, in spite of the fun you had, the two of you obviously weren’t on the same page. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t have fun with you and that he didn’t like you. It simply means that he didn’t view it from the same standpoint that you did. For whatever reason, he wasn’t that into you after all.

This can happen for many reasons. He may have already had someone else in his life that he was MORE interested in and you were just a distraction. Maybe he had the attention span of a 3 year old that loses interest in a new toy after a few hours of playing with it.  Whatever it was, just understand that if he hasn’t called you in 3 weeks, he’s not going to. Chances are he DID NOT end up in a coma from a car wreck or something. He just isn’t interested in you that way.

This means that you need to forget about him and move on.   Don’t text him saying you haven’t heard from him in a while. He either won’t text you back or, worse, he won’t even remember who you are. Just because you had a good make out session doesn’t mean much more to him than good, adult fun. It means that the two of you viewed that evening in totally different ways. Everyone has different agendas and you shouldn’t be shocked to find out that this guy’s was different from yours.

If you find that you overreact to every cute guy you kiss not calling you back, you may want to stop kissing so many of them. Save it for the one that really DOES seem to be on the same page as you. Typically, first dates don’t end up with a trip to the alter, and you really may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. As long as you understand that, you’ll find it a lot easier to deal with all of the guys that simply don’t call you back.

The one thing that IS important for you to remember is that when you do have a great night with a guy and you feel a mutual chemistry, if he calls you back the next day, he really may be Mr. Right.

The Age-Old Question Of When To Call

Sometimes a first date goes so well that you know there and then that you want to have a second date. The date is duly arranged for a week or so in the future, and one of you – we’ll say for the sake of this example that it is you – promises to call the other at some point in between the dates. This could be to firm up details, to chat with one another or for any number of other reasons. The age in which we live dictates that we must leave a certain amount of time before calling. But how soon is too soon, and how long is too long?

It is received wisdom that anything less than 24 hours comes across as being “too keen”. If the previous date went spectacularly well, however, this rule can be waived in most cases. It simply makes sense to take advantage of the positive impression you will have of one another in the wake of a successful date. Otherwise, it is permissible to have a single day in between – if your date was on the Thursday, you can mandate Friday for a night of DVDs with a friend, then call on the Saturday. Leaving it any longer may be seen as stringing someone along – which should be avoided.

The above rules are, of course, not binding, and you can make your own decisions depending on the situation. However, it should always be remembered that after the first date, “playing hard to get” becomes less endearing and more like a method of torture.