Should Co-Workers Date?

Working closely together five days a week can definitely cause some enviable heat to ignite between certain co-workers. Sometimes it’s a true chemistry that causes two people to be attracted to each other. It can also be due to loneliness at home, which can actually happen whether the person is single or married. In fact, many times marital problems are the root cause of office romances and affairs. Then, there are times when two people are drawn to each other and just happen to work at the same place.

To start with, the subject of affairs needs to be addressed because these are always very bad ideas, particularly between two married co-workers. Even worse is the idea of an affair between boss and staff member. These NEVER end well, and when they do, as they WILL, there will be at least one person out of a job. On occasion, both boss and staff member can be joining the ranks of the unemployed. If you’re that staff member and are flattered by the attentions of your boss, please keep things on a professional level, for your own good.

Married co-workers should never engage in anything romantic. They can be friends and enjoy each other’s company, but they should never take that fatal step of going over the line and falling into bed together. When the spouses find out, and never doubt that they will, things will begin to crumble for both of the people that were unfaithful. Actually, there are at least four people in that scenario that can be hurt.

Then, there are those couples that simply feel drawn to each other and probably would be attracted to each other no matter how they met. This connection isn’t necessarily a bad one, but it can be a tricky one. That’s because these couples may be in a budding relationship that shouldn’t be tested by the dangers of being together TOO much. What happens when the two of you have an argument? Something like that can easily have a huge effect on the quality of work that the two of you deliver at work while the argument lasts.

Something else to think about is the amount of time you’ll be spending with each other. If you just work for the same company, chances are good that you will be working in separate offices and will only see each other during breaks and at lunch. An arrangement like that doesn’t put as much stress on a relationship as working in the same office a desk or two apart from each other. Just working in the same building can actually enhance a romantic relationship. You can always meet at lunch for a sandwich and a quickie to really spice things up.

On the other hand, if you do work in the same office, it may be beneficial to the relationship for one of you to try to transfer to another office or department in the company. Some couples make a professional and personal relationship work out nicely. If you follow some common sense ground rules, it may work out that way for you, too.

Never Judge a Book by the Cover When Dating

The dating game is hard enough without putting even more restrictions on yourself.  It’s perfectly fine to be a bit picky when looking for good dating material because you never know when one of these dating partners will turn into something long term. Also, it’s important to have chemistry with someone or a relationship will never successfully develop between the two of you. However, it’s important that you don’t become one of those people that try to judge someone by appearance.

The saying “You can’t judge a book by its cover” makes a lot of sense when you’re in the dating arena. For instance, if you enter a club and are approached by a devastatingly handsome guy, your first reaction is most likely one of sheer stomach dropping excitement. Before he even gets the first full sentence out of his mouth, you’re already patting yourself on the back for deciding to wear that hot little black number with the plunging neckline.

You spend the rest of the evening letting this guy buy you drinks and dance with you. When it gets so late that you really do have to be getting home, you offer to give him your telephone number. He doesn’t want your telephone number. He wants to leave with you. In fact, when you make it clear that you’re not doing that, you start to realize what a terrible mistake you made. This guy was only interested in getting you into bed that same night and was sort of “buying” you all evening.

Now, you went through all of this because this guy was so attractive and knew all the right things to say and do. Yet, he ended up being somewhat of a nightmare. If you had only paid more attention to that sort of cute nerdy guy that approached right before the great looking guy, you probably wouldn’t have had to endure an ugly scene when you were ready to leave.

That’s a rather extreme example of not judging people by their looks, but it’s to prove a point. People are not always what they seem on the outside. Too many of those beautiful faces are hiding ugly souls and, many times, you won’t find out until it’s too late. Remember that famous serial killer, Ted Bundy, was considered very attractive by all of his victims, right up until they realized that he was going to kill them.

That’s doesn’t mean that you’re going to be meeting and being fooled by serial killers. It just means that you need to be cautious until you get to know someone a bit better and don’t immediately assume beauty is the better dating option. There has to be something interesting going on inside of anyone worth dating.

Signs That You Should Keep Him

It can be really hard to find the right guy, the one that you want to spend a lot of time with, and possibly even the rest of your life. Things can start out really well and even continue to go well for a long time. But it’s hard to decide if he’ll change into another person once you decide to commit to yourself.

There are some signs you can look for to help you decide if he’s someone you want to keep around. Have a look at these and take note of them:

• He calls you at least once a day just to say “I miss you” or “I love you.” This is one of the sweetest things that a guy can do for his girl. It shows you that you’re on his mind even when he’s away from you and he wants you to know that.
• He serves you coffee in bed in the morning, or even a full breakfast. If he’s willing to “wait on you” in this manner, you can tell he really cares about you. It shows you that he doesn’t expect things to be divided up into “his and her chores.”
• He remembers special occasions like the anniversary of your first date, first kiss, your birthday and other occasions. Best of all, he remembers these days with no prompting from you.
• You receive “I love you” gifts from him. For no reason other than that he wants to do it, he’ll send you flowers or buy you a special gift.
• He knows when you need some time to yourself without being told and without whining about it. Instead, he’ll make arrangements to do something on his own with friends so that you can be alone.
• He plans, shops for, and cooks meals for the two of you. When he’s completed cooking the meal, he serves it to you.
• Housework doesn’t faze him. He’ll help you with cleaning and will even do the laundry.
• He treats you as his equal. You’re a partner, not someone that doesn’t matter and who should be subservient to him.
• The two of you can easily compromise on how you’ll spend your nights or days out. He doesn’t demand you watch sports events or attend them constantly if you don’t like them. However, if you’re going to get him to the ballet with you, be prepared to attend a sports event with him.
• He never pushes you, but instead, he’ll stand back and respect decisions you make.

Obviously, if you can find a guy with all of these qualities, you may want to lock him in a cage or something to make sure he doesn’t get away. However, if you can find someone with just a few of them, you’re still way ahead of the game. The problem that most people have is when they find a guy like this, there isn’t any chemistry. Thus, lending credence to the myth that nice guys finish last. Keeping in mind that chemistry IS important, if you meet a guy with these qualities, you may want to give the chemistry a chance, too!

Why Doesn’t He Call After A Great Date?

Nearly every woman has gone through this scenario: You go out with a new guy and have an absolutely amazing time. It seems that you have everything in common and the chemistry is off the charts. After spending the evening together at dinner and a movie, or a club, he takes you home and you invite him in. Whether you sleep with him or not, there’s at least a lot of making out. By the time he goes home, you’re certain you’ve just found your Mr. Right. The next day you wait and wait for your phone to ring. It rings, but it’s never him. In fact, you never see or hear from him again. What happened?

Well, the truth of the matter is that, in spite of the fun you had, the two of you obviously weren’t on the same page. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t have fun with you and that he didn’t like you. It simply means that he didn’t view it from the same standpoint that you did. For whatever reason, he wasn’t that into you after all.

This can happen for many reasons. He may have already had someone else in his life that he was MORE interested in and you were just a distraction. Maybe he had the attention span of a 3 year old that loses interest in a new toy after a few hours of playing with it.  Whatever it was, just understand that if he hasn’t called you in 3 weeks, he’s not going to. Chances are he DID NOT end up in a coma from a car wreck or something. He just isn’t interested in you that way.

This means that you need to forget about him and move on.   Don’t text him saying you haven’t heard from him in a while. He either won’t text you back or, worse, he won’t even remember who you are. Just because you had a good make out session doesn’t mean much more to him than good, adult fun. It means that the two of you viewed that evening in totally different ways. Everyone has different agendas and you shouldn’t be shocked to find out that this guy’s was different from yours.

If you find that you overreact to every cute guy you kiss not calling you back, you may want to stop kissing so many of them. Save it for the one that really DOES seem to be on the same page as you. Typically, first dates don’t end up with a trip to the alter, and you really may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. As long as you understand that, you’ll find it a lot easier to deal with all of the guys that simply don’t call you back.

The one thing that IS important for you to remember is that when you do have a great night with a guy and you feel a mutual chemistry, if he calls you back the next day, he really may be Mr. Right.

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