Choose Your Battles

All couples have disagreements from time to time. Many people consider arguing sometimes to be healthy for relationships. Of course, if you argue constantly that may be a sign of some different issues. However, getting back to the positive side of fighting, there are some benefits to doing some verbal slugging it out on occasion.

First of all, when couples argue, there’s a release of any tension build up. Sometimes, when you’re with someone a lot, there are things that can get on your nerves about each other. These things build when they’re not addressed and resolved. So, there may be some little thing that causes the blow up but the fight is actually about other things that have been allowed to fester for too long. Once the air is cleared, the fight is over and the tension is gone, or at least clearly reduced.

Having a difference of opinion is a good way to show that you’re not completely alike. There’s a lot to be said about having enough things in common, but nothing is more boring than being exactly alike. The things that you disagree over can be debated in a mature manner, or should be. But if yelling and throwing things is more the way you and your partner like to handle issues, go for it. Just try not to disturb the neighbors.

Something else you also need to understand about arguing is that you cannot always win. There’s no way to do that and hold onto a successful relationship. You need to be aware that you’re not always going to be right 100 percent of the time and your partner isn’t going to be, either. That’s why it’s important to choose your battles. Some things are just more important than others. When you’re positive that you’re right about something; that’s the thing to fight for. Of course, you should also be prepared for your partner to be equally adamant that he’s right about the same issue.

Another thing that turns out to be pretty nice about having a fight with your partner is that once it’s over, you get to make up. There’s just something about make up sex that’s unlike any other kind of sex you’ll ever have. It has an intensity to it that only anger and repentance can bring out. You almost feel as if you came very close to losing one another and then you were snatched back from the jaws of death regarding your relationship. The love and passion you feel for each other at the moment you make up is stronger than even the first time you were ever together physically. That’s a delicious feeling to hold onto.

Again, remember to choose your battles. Yes, the makeup sex if amazing and the end of a fight can mark the beginning of your love all over again. However, don’t fight over stupid things. Make your battles count and make them bring about a lasting joy and compromise into your relationship. Things will be so much better if you can do that.

When the Differences are Too Many for a Successful Relationship

Commonality is something that all relationships need a bit of in order to work out and be long term. This is always a better thing when each of you likes a lot of the same things. That list would include things like the same types of music, movies, the same activities, and agreeing on religion.

Lots of couples tend to have little in common on the surface, yet they get along famously and maintain great relationships. Most likely, these couples have learned how to balance the differences in their personalities and have actively searched for common interests to home in on so that they will have some things that they can do together. It can be done in many cases, but for others, the differences can be just too much for sustain a relationship.

In the very beginning, when you’ve just met someone and are getting to know them, it’s time to find out what this person’s interests are. This is when you need to ask questions that are pertinent to you and your lifestyle. The answers that you get will give you the springboard you need to decide if this is a potential relationship that you want to pursue.

There are many things that you can get past when it comes to having differences in likes and dislikes. However, there are other things that need to be looked at closely before moving ahead. For example, if one of you is a devout fundamentalist Christian and you’re a practicing Pagan, chances are you wouldn’t ever meet up in the same places anyway. On the other hand, if you’re a Catholic and he’s of the Jewish faith, many couples have made this particular situation work. It only becomes a bit complicated if the couple decides to have children but the solution reached is usually a fair one for everyone.

Differences in such things as music and movies don’t have to be a deal breaker, either. This is where compromise comes into play. You agree to go to a wrestling match if your partner will attend the ballet or opera with you. In time, such things may actually grow on you a bit.

The point is that couples can still be individuals even when they are in a relationship with each other. It can even become more interesting when there are plenty of differences. It helps each partner be more involved in learning new things.

For example, if one of you is really into camping and the other one’s idea of camping is a night spent at the Motel 6, if you start out easy, you may find that camping can bring you lots of pleasure. Of course, then your partner must agree to that night or weekend in a high end hotel or a romantic bed and breakfast of your choosing.

It’s really all about compromising. However, if you love curling up by the fire on a rainy day with a good bestseller and your partner’s idea of reading is guffawing through a comic book, you may want to look closely at what life will be like with this person.