Is There Really Someone for Everyone?
by Dating Tips
Filed under Relationship Tips
Something that keeps many single people hopeful is the belief that there’s someone in the world for everyone. This may or may not be true depending on the type of person you’re looking for and what you want to have with this person. So, in actuality, it’s this part that decides if there’s a match for everyone in the world that wants one. It all comes down to what you want to have with another person.
The easiest of all connections is the one night stand. Just about any decent looking person can score one of these. Usually, these happen just because a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. You get all dressed up and hit some of the more crowded and popular “meet markets.” That’s where you’ll find other people just like you that are looking for those few minutes or few hours of physical intimacy with someone else. This is pretty simple to make happen. The downside of it is that for many people it turns out to be less than fulfilling. In fact, it can actually only make that emptiness inside of you that much more lonely. For others, though, it does the trick until the next time the itch starts.
The next type of connection that may be the simplest to achieve is the person for dating and casual sex. This one is better than the one night stand but doesn’t require a commitment from either party. These are two people that like a lot of the same things and are attracted to each other sexually. While this may sound a lot like the beginning of a real relationship, it can actually be the result of a good friendship. This is all some people require to be happy.
Then, there’s the relationship where a couple are in love and live together with no intentions of getting married. These couples can be either monogamous or have an open style relationship. This type of relationship is becoming more popular in recent times for many reasons.
Then, there’s the traditional relationship where a couple is in love with each other and choose to follow the approach of actually getting married. This relationship is a lot more difficult to have than the other ones because it’s much more serious. In a marriage, two people are committing to each other and making some pretty strong promises to each other in the process. They’re promising not to be with anyone else and to stay together in good times and bad times until death parts them. This is the ultimate goal of many single people and is the hardest to attain, yet it CAN be done.
One last type of relationship, and not too common, is the trial relationship. A ceremony is conducted that binds a couple together for a certain time period, usually one year. If, at the end of that time, they want to enter into a traditional marriage, that’s what will happen. If they’ve decided it’s not what they wanted, they can part ways peacefully.
So, all in all, there just may be someone for everyone in the world. It just comes down to what you’re looking for.
Blind Dates Aren’t Always Nightmares
by Dating Tips
Filed under Blind Dates
Blind dates have always received a bad rep for the most part. These are events that truly frighten people whether they’ve ever been on a blind date or not. That’s because, many times, they were set up by thoughtless people that didn’t even really consider how much the potential couple may actually have in common. Admittedly, these types of blind dates CAN and usually ARE complete nightmares, but it doesn’t have to always be that way.
In this current age of dating services and online dating websites, blind dates are almost the norm now. Of course, you DO have the option of getting to know the person you’re considering going on a date with prior to the date itself because of the online contact between the two of you. There’s chatting, exchange of emails, and even phone calls, if you want. By the time you actually meet for coffee or dinner, you’ve got somewhat of an idea about the person you’re meeting.
True blind dates are an entirely different matter. These happen when your best friend sets you up with her brother in law, cousin in law, guy from her husband’s office, or a variety of other choices. You’ve never laid eyes on this guy and know absolutely NOTHING about him, yet, you’ll be having dinner with him at your friend’s home. It is blind dates of this sort that can be trouble. If you haven’t been consulted at all prior to this date, it can be even worse.
However, look at it from another viewpoint. Suppose that your friend, sister, or whoever is setting you up on this blind date, has spoken at length with you about the qualities you must have in any man that you would consider having a relationship with. Suppose, also, that this person has spent time telling you all about the man that you’ll be meeting. In fact, you almost feel as if you know this man by the time the actual date comes about. Assume that the man in question has also undergone the same process regarding you. When it’s these things that have been considered before a blind date, there’s a very good chance that you and this new man will hit it off.
Another thing that is a better idea for blind dates is to double date. So when you meet this new man, you know that there won’t be any chances of those uncomfortable silences when you don’t know what to say. If you’ve got really good friends, they’ll know if the time comes that they should make themselves scarce and let the two of you get better acquainted. On the other hand, they’ll also be able to see if the entire exercise is one in futility, and they’ll know to call it a night at an appropriate time.
When there’s enough preparation beforehand, many blind dates turn out to be very successful and can even end in marriage. The thing to remember is that they must be orchestrated in just the right way to stand a chance of working out.
Making Online Dating Less Scary
by Dating Tips
Filed under Online Dating Tips
Online dating has become one of the more popular ways of meeting people for possible romance these days. There are hundreds of thousands of dating websites online now. They cover every type of dating and interacting that you can possibly think of. People join these sites every day and start their search for the perfect companion.
Even though this type of dating has really caught on, there are still some people that find the entire process quite scary. They don’t like the idea of hooking up with someone that they’ve only chatted to over the computer or on the phone. These are the same people that dislike blind dates even when they’re introduced by trusted friends. However, you shouldn’t back away from online dating just because you’re afraid. There are ways to make this experience a lot less scary and a lot more fun.
Decide ahead of time what your personal boundaries will be when it comes online dating. For instance, there may be certain days of the week that work better as date nights for you. If so, you need to stick to those nights even if his schedule doesn’t match yours. Try to work out something for the next week, instead. If he tries to push you for something faster, you may want to drop him because there should be no sense of urgency about a date. He may be looking for something else.
You also need to be yourself on a dating site. Just because you’re meeting someone in a more unconventional way doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Remember, whoever you are when you meet someone is who you’ll have to continue to be. That’s why it’s always best to be exactly who you are.
Another thing you need to do is be clear about what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship, then say so. If you just want someone to have sex with, be honest about that, too. Don’t send mixed signals and, hopefully, you won’t receive any in return. When you state the type of relationship that you’re looking for, that will usually stop you from wasting time with someone that wants something completely different.
Make a list of qualities that you want in a potential partner. You’ll probably have trouble finding someone that ticks all the boxes on your list, but if you keep to the most important qualities, that should point you in a good direction. If you’re not TOO particular about what you want, you’ll find someone a lot faster.
Make some dating rules that will keep you safe. Don’t give someone your home address or let him come to pick you up on the first date. Agree to meet at the place of your date as long as this place is well lit and has plenty of people around. Take your own transportation in case you need to make a fast exit. It’s also a good idea to take along your cell phone.
Once you have connected with someone that seems promising, stay true to your dating rules. Don’t meet him until YOU’RE ready. If he isn’t patient enough to wait, he’s not worth your time.
How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong
by Dating Tips
Filed under Dating Tips For Women
So much emphasis is made on finding Mr. Right that sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late. Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:
- He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)
- He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)
- You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)
- So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)
- He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side. (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)
- What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way. (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)
- On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)
- He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)
- He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)
Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.
I Love Him but He’s a Terrible Kisser
by Dating Tips
Filed under Kissing Tips
Kissing is one of the most intimate things that two people can do with each other. It’s almost as intimate as the act of sex because you’re connected in a truly physical way, especially if you’re using your tongue. When you think about it, you can practically call it Mouth Intercourse. It’s so intimate, in fact, that there are people that will have sex with someone but won’t kiss them unless they’re in love with them. Anyway, you get the point.
Yes, kissing is a beautiful act. However, there are a significant number of people on the earth that just don’t know how to kiss. This can, many times, be a complete turnoff for some women. They may be very attracted to a man and have all kinds of things in common with him, but the first time they kiss, he slobbers all over her face or sucks at her tongue like a vacuum cleaner. Either way, it’s not conducive to endearing him to her. The only way out of that situation is if the two of them have already formed a bond of some sort so that it’s not imperative that he knows how to kiss well.
If you’re a woman whose partner doesn’t seem to have to slightest idea of how to kiss, there are some ways to handle the situation so that it’s not a total disaster. First of all, though, you need to decide if you care enough about him to make the effort. If everything else about him is perfect, then you may want to try to see what you can do about turning his kissing into something more desirable.
Since men can be rather sensitive about such things as being told that they kiss like a Hoover, you’ll probably need to find a way to show him rather than tell him how you want to be kissed. This doesn’t have to be easier said than done, either. Pick one of those times when you’re sort of just having an impromptu make out session and play with the kissing part. If he tries to dive right in, slow him down by nibbling a bit on his bottom lip. You have to take control of the pace in order to get him to pay attention to what you’re doing.
Now, if he just refuses to follow your lead and keeps diving back in like the slobbering Hoover, you may have to tell him in words that it really turns you on to kiss slowly at first. If you can slow him down, you’re got a great chance of teaching him some new kissing techniques. Granted, he may never turn into the best kisser you’ve ever been with, but if you can get him to try out some of the new things you’re showing him, he’ll at least become more exciting as a kisser. It will also let you know that he’s open to learning new techniques, which can be applied to other parts of your love life. That’s ALWAYS handy information to have.
Online Dating and Safety
by Dating Tips
Filed under Online Dating Tips
Online dating has become an accepted way of meeting and getting to know people for friendship and prospective romantic partners. It’s so convenient to do things this way since you never have to even leave your home to get the ball rolling. You can visit a variety of online dating websites, or you can hop in and out of some dating chat rooms. It’s also possible to get acquainted with someone you’ve come into contact with in your favorite forum. There are so many ways to do this.
One of the biggest concerns with online dating, however, is the issue of safety. Most of the time this applies to women rather than men, although there are definitely some women that can be just as dangerous as the most frightening of men. In addition, it’s difficult to tell who you can trust and who you need to avoid at all costs. There’s just no sure fire way to know. That’s why safety is so very important.
While you can’t always be 100 percent positive that you’ve hooked up with someone completely trustworthy, you can at least take some sensible measures that give you an advantage in this area.
The first one of these is to never give all of your personal information right off the bat. Sure, you need to give someone your first name, but there’s no reason that you should offer your last night along with your phone number and street address. All you need to chat with each other for a while is first names. Some people even go so far as to use aliases in the beginning.
Talking online is relatively safe. You can chat privatly and get a lot of your questions answered about someone while you’re getting to know each other. When you’re ready, you can move things along by chatting via webcam. In this way, you can see each other, which can tell a lot about what someone is really like. This, too, is a great way to get acquainted while remaining safe.
When you’re ready to meet face to face, make it during the day at a very public place. It’s also a good idea to take a friend along with you. That friend can sit somewhere else where you’re in full view, or they can join you until you give the signal that you’re comfortable enough for them to leave. It’s also a good idea to use your own transportation and meet in the agreed upon location. In this way, your address is still safe and you’ve got your own way to “escape” if you feel the need.
Never meet someone until you’re completely 100 percent comfortable with that person. There are many ways to run background checks on people these days, too. That’s something else that you may want to consider. It’s also a better idea to keep your home’s location a secret until you’ve been dating for a while. When you’re fully relaxed and confident that someone is safe for you to be seeing, then you can open up a bit more. Until then, never take anything at face value.
Dating and Pets
by Dating Tips
Filed under Dating Tips
You’ve probably heard the expression “Love me, love my dog” before. However, you probably never gave a lot of thought as to what it actually means, or if you did, you most likely laughed a bit. This can be deadly serious, though, when it comes to dating if you have a pet. Not everyone is meant to be around animals and if animal lovers happen to hook up with those that aren’t crazy about pets, the fireworks that shoot into the air will not be the GOOD kind.
To begin with, you may have a dog or cat, or maybe more than one, living with you. These are your BABIES. True animal lovers really enjoy their pets and, truth be told, they feel as if these pets are more like family members than simply animals. The bond between animals and their owners is one of the most special that you’ll find anywhere. It’s a very beautiful and precious connection and should be viewed as such.
The problem comes about when a single animal lover is trying to find a romantic prospect and hooks up with someone that simply despises animals or is deathly afraid of them for some reason. It gets even worse when the two people are truly attracted to each other because this means that there are some choices to be made. The thing is that the animal lover isn’t going to give up his or her family member for someone that he or she just met.
It’s better to forego those incidents and get started off on the right foot with someone that loves animals as much as you do. This is not as difficult to do as you may think, either. You can find out how someone feels about animals simply by asking during the first conversation you have with someone that you’re interested in knowing better. That’s certainly safer than waiting until you’re ready to go out on that first date to find out that your new romantic prospect cannot stand your little dog Daisy, or your sweet tabby cat Cherry.
That first conversation where you find out all of the important things about each other is the one where you work in your love for your pets and find out how he or she feels about animals. Ask if he or she has any pets and that’s all you’ll have to do to find out what you need to know. If the answer is positive, then you know that you’ll be able to pursue something wonderful with this person. Maybe there will be play dates in the future for your pets and theirs. It may even turn into a Brady Bunch with you, your new partner and your mixture of six dogs and cats.
It’s not only a pipe dream. It can turn into a reality as long as you meet the right person. If you love animals, there’s no need to even try forming a relationship with someone that doesn’t share your love for animals. Look for suitable partners at the vet’s office, pet shows and exercise parks for animals. That’s where you’ll find the love of your life.
Bisexuality: Straddling the Fence
by Dating Tips
Filed under Gay & Lesbian Issues, Sexuality
With heterosexuality being the “norm” when it comes to attraction and sexuality, second on the list would be gay and lesbian people that have bravely and confidently come out as being involved in an alternative lifestyle. There IS another group, however, that probably doesn’t get quite as much attention as the other two. That group is made up of bisexual people. These are individuals that are attracted to both men and women.
It’s a bit difficult to be a part of this group because there doesn’t seem to be any defining lines for it. If you’re heterosexual, or straight, then you’re attracted to people of the opposite sex as you. Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex as they are. Bisexuals, on the other hand, are attracted to both sexes no matter what they may be.
Oddly enough, bisexuals often have more trouble getting dates or meeting people for potential romantic relationships than either straight or gay people. One of the biggest concerns that people have with regards to dating bisexuals is the fear that a bisexual partner may leave at any time for someone of the opposite sex than their current partner. This may be true to a degree but when ANYONE is in a committed relationship, they’re not going to be looking for someone else to take up with. In other words, bisexual individuals are no more apt to leave a relationship than either a straight or gay person.
Many men find bisexual women very compelling because they have these visuals of two women together sexually. They think that nothing could be hotter than dating a bisexual woman so they never consider the fact that these women are also normal. They don’t think about sex constantly. If they happen to meet someone of either sex that they’re attracted to, the difference is that they’re open to pursuing a relationship with that person.
If you happen to be bisexual and are trying to find someone exciting to date that will understand you, there ARE places that you can look that will land you a successful prospect or three. The internet is a great place to start. There you will find plenty of dating sites that cater to bisexual individuals. These are the sites that will allow you to pair up with someone that really understands you in a way that others never will. One such site is QDates.com, which is a large online dating community for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people of both sexes.
If you’re into things like Speed Dating, there are events that you can attend that target bisexual people. These can be a lot of fun and you can certainly meet some interesting people this way. If you’re really successful, you’ll meet one or two people that you find delightful.
Of course, there are always bars and nightclubs that you can go to in search of some entertainment. You can choose to go to either straight clubs or gay ones, depending on your mood. That’s the true beauty of being a bisexual person. You definitely do have many more choices when it comes to the world of dating, sex, and relationships. The best thing you can do is enjoy yourself and make the most of it.
Is Your Partner Reliable?
by Dating Tips
Filed under Dating Tips For Women
It seems that so many men these days just aren’t reliable, even when in a relationship. There are so many things now that work to distract them. For instance, more and more relationships are ending due to the amount of time that men spend playing video games or computer games. Then there’s the myriad of sports events that are covered by ESPN and if you’re with a sports fanatic, you may as well plan on being alone when the different seasons begin.
Unless you’re also a sports fanatic or love to play video games, you’re going to want to move in another direction because, for you, it’s going to be necessary to be in a relationship with someone that’s reliable. As hard as it may be to face, these types of men are rarely going to be reliable when it means that they’ll need to be away from their sports events or video games. That’s why you must pay close attention while you’re still in the early stages of dating.
A lot of men, in fact most of them, will not show tons of interest in the things that consume their lives otherwise after they first meet someone that they’re interested in. So, it will be up to you to spot whatever you can that tells you a bit about his life. If you spot every video game console made hanging around in his house, chances are that he didn’t buy them simply for decorations. You’ll probably find that he’s also got a pretty impressive collection of games for each of these consoles, too.
Something else you’ll probably want to check is what television channels that he subscribes to. If you see that his guide lists all of the ESPN channels, you’re probably dating a huge sports fanatic. He’s most likely just keeping this part of his personality under wraps until he has you sufficiently baited, hooked and reeled in. He’s probably had issues in other relationships because of all of the avid attachment to video games and sports. So he already knows that it’s going to be a problem.
If you see enough things that have you filled with questions, now is the time to ask those questions and get your answers. The last thing you want to do is get involved with someone that will stand you over in a corner while he spends all of his time slaying virtual dragons and pretending that he’s a football star. This type of man typically has you feeling alone more than anything else.
Think carefully before you get seriously involved with someone that will always let everything else get in the way of things you may need from him. You’ll spend a life of taking care of yourself when you’re sick, forgotten birthdays and anniversaries, and being stood up for important events in your life. It’s much easier to be with someone that’s actually involved in the relationship, too. This is someone that you’ll be able to count in to be there when you need him.
Is Your Online Relationship Going Anywhere?
by Dating Tips
Filed under Relationship Tips
With the introduction of home computers and the Internet, dating and relationships have gone to an entirely new dimension. For example, it’s now possible for someone living in the United States to be in a relationship with someone living in Australia. The entire relationship was begun online and is maintained online. It’s not surprising that a significant percentage have never even met in person. They talk online, by Skype, instant messenger, video cameras, through email and probably on cell phones. However, they’ve never even touched each other physically.
Believe it or not, relationships such as these are quite common these days, and new ones are being formed every day. People seem quite happy being in these relationships for the most part. It gives them something to look forward to first thing in the morning and when they get home in the evening. They set up dates on the weekend and even go so far as to prepare the same meals so that they can have dinner, lunch or breakfast together by webcam.
This is all very romantic and exciting, even, but it does beg the question of just where this type of relationship is going. Does one of you plan to fly across the world in order to meet the other one? What happens if you suddenly decide you can’t live without each other? Does it even make sense to up and quit your job and trade your life in for someone that you’ve never even kissed?
These are all questions that will need to be addressed at some point in time, unless, of course, you’ve decided to just maintain this virtual relationship and never make it anything more than it is now. Believe it or not, there ARE those couples that seem to have no plans for the future. They just live in the here and now, enjoying the company of someone over their computer.
If a relationship of this kind is truly enough for you, it may be time for you to examine the reasons for not caring if you have a relationship in the truest sense of the word. Are you inherently selfish or self-centered and don’t want to have to look after someone else? Do you like the company but also the freedom that you have by not being in a true physical relationship? Do you like the romance but aren’t so fond of sex?
You really need to address these questions before making the final decision of being in a pretend relationship where you both talk about a “someday” that will never come. When you remain in a cyber-relationship such as this, you always run the risk that your online partner will decide that he wants more and wants something he can touch. Are you ready to make the move for that to happen?
You’re the only one that can decide whether or not you’re ready for a real, mature relationship. It could be that you’ll be happier having a pretend one. You should, however, be honest with your cyber partner once you decide.