Are You Dating for Sex?

When it comes to dating, there are many reasons that people do it. For the most part, dating is an activity that takes place for companionship and as a stepping stone to a romantic relationship. These are the best reasons for dating and they typically work to bring two people together in a committed relationship. There’s another reason that some people go on dates, and it’s not the best one to use.

This reason is simply to have sex with someone. In this day and age of massive sexual freedom along with the numerous sexually transmitted diseases that are out there, dating just to have sex is most likely one of the worst ideas imaginable. There are also many other avenues to take if you just want a sexual encounter. Casual sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It provides a temporary physical release but can be quite emotionally and mentally unfulfilling.

For centuries, men have sought out women to pay for sex. This was never questioned even back when the French courtesans were all the rage. Prostitution has been around in one form or another always but it’s never been completely sanctioned. When women go about visiting one club after another trying to meet someone to have sex with, they’re essentially behaving like prostitutes, except they’re not paid for their favors.

If you’re using the dating game just so you can have sex, you may want to examine your true motives for conducting your life in this way. Are you fearful of committing to just one person? Have you had so many bad relationships that you simply don’t want the hassle of dealing with another one? Could you possibly be addicted to variety sex and you cannot maintain a sexual relationship with only one person? Only you can answer the questions, but you may not be able to be honest with your answers.

Suffice it to say that if you’re using dating simply as a means to have sex, something needs to be thoroughly investigated. Most women don’t have sex on the first date even though sexual values have become quite a bit looser than in years past. If you’re taking that a step further by dating only to have sex and then casting away the man you dated, there’s really a need for you to speak with someone you trust about this behavior.

It’s not only demeaning to yourself, but it’s literally dangerous to your life due to the many STDs that abound. Keep in mind that such things as HIV and herpes aren’t curable.  In fact, HIV can kill you if it turns into full blown AIDS. Is your life worth a quick roll in bed? This is very self-destructive behavior and can be deadly if you decide not to seek some help and understanding for why you behave in this way.

It’s important that you’re as careful as you can be while continuing to date for sex. That’s the least you can do to protect yourself from the negative consequences of your actions.

Surviving a Relationship Break Up

Not all relationships are meant to last. In fact, most of them are simply stepping stones to the main event. Because of this, you’ll most likely experience several relationship break ups as you move through your life. While this is true, it’s also true that each break up will most likely hurt equally and you’ll spend too much time wishing that you could make the pain go away. Believe it or not, there are ways to survive a break up without too much wear and tear on your heart.

First of all, let yourself feel the grief. Many people compare the ending of a relationship to the death of someone they care about. Actually, it IS a sort of death. That’s why you need to deal with the grief that you feel. Give yourself time to absorb the fact that your relationship is over and let that pain wash over you. Then, after a suitable mourning period, take the steps to putting your life back in balance once more.

Don’t turn away your friends. They only want to help and, besides, you’ll need someone to talk to. Friends that you trust can be the best thing that you can do for yourself in your time of pain. They’ll do everything they can to help you move through this negative point in your life because they care about you.  This support will help you immeasurably; so let them be there for you.

Get rid of everything that makes you feel sad all over again about the end of the relationship. This means pictures, gifts, clothing or anything else that you may have kept as a memento of this time in your life. If you can’t bear to totally throw it all away, pack it up and let a friend keep it for you until you’re at a point where you can deal with seeing it again.

Don’t jump right back into the dating game immediately. However, it’s a great idea to go out with friends and have some fun. When you isolate yourself, it only makes things worse. So you need to be out and about with people that care about you.

Try to force some positive thinking. It won’t be easy at first. Actually, it may be impossible. But if you try to think of at least one positive thing every day, you’ll eventually find that these positive thoughts come to you unbidden. Basically, the more you make yourself smile, the easier it will become. Before you know it, these smiles will be genuine.

Just like a death, the ending of a relationship becomes better with time. Sooner or later, you’ll find that you’re thinking about your ex less and less until, finally, one day you’ll go to bed at night and suddenly realize that you didn’t think about the past relationship once all day. That’s when you know that the worst is over. You’re well on your way, then, to completely recovering and moving on with your life.

Never Judge a Book by the Cover When Dating

The dating game is hard enough without putting even more restrictions on yourself.  It’s perfectly fine to be a bit picky when looking for good dating material because you never know when one of these dating partners will turn into something long term. Also, it’s important to have chemistry with someone or a relationship will never successfully develop between the two of you. However, it’s important that you don’t become one of those people that try to judge someone by appearance.

The saying “You can’t judge a book by its cover” makes a lot of sense when you’re in the dating arena. For instance, if you enter a club and are approached by a devastatingly handsome guy, your first reaction is most likely one of sheer stomach dropping excitement. Before he even gets the first full sentence out of his mouth, you’re already patting yourself on the back for deciding to wear that hot little black number with the plunging neckline.

You spend the rest of the evening letting this guy buy you drinks and dance with you. When it gets so late that you really do have to be getting home, you offer to give him your telephone number. He doesn’t want your telephone number. He wants to leave with you. In fact, when you make it clear that you’re not doing that, you start to realize what a terrible mistake you made. This guy was only interested in getting you into bed that same night and was sort of “buying” you all evening.

Now, you went through all of this because this guy was so attractive and knew all the right things to say and do. Yet, he ended up being somewhat of a nightmare. If you had only paid more attention to that sort of cute nerdy guy that approached right before the great looking guy, you probably wouldn’t have had to endure an ugly scene when you were ready to leave.

That’s a rather extreme example of not judging people by their looks, but it’s to prove a point. People are not always what they seem on the outside. Too many of those beautiful faces are hiding ugly souls and, many times, you won’t find out until it’s too late. Remember that famous serial killer, Ted Bundy, was considered very attractive by all of his victims, right up until they realized that he was going to kill them.

That’s doesn’t mean that you’re going to be meeting and being fooled by serial killers. It just means that you need to be cautious until you get to know someone a bit better and don’t immediately assume beauty is the better dating option. There has to be something interesting going on inside of anyone worth dating.