Help! My Boyfriend is Gay!

You’ve been dating the same guy for a year or more and he’s all you’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s amazingly handsome, sensitive to your needs, chooses the perfect gifts, and sex is usually more about you than him. Your friends tell you how jealous they are that you’ve got someone like this in your life. Life is beautiful and you look forward to a long and happy life with this man.

Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt. He sits you down and tells you that he has something to talk about with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s serious because he seems to be very nervous and on the verge of tears. You take his hands and tell him that there’s nothing that the two of you cannot get through together. Then he drops a bomb you were totally NOT expecting. It seems that he’s come to realize that he’s gay.

There will be many questions that you’ll have and you have the right to ask them.  If he’s as great as you think he is, he’ll do the right thing and answer all of them as honestly and kindly as he can. Next, there will be some decisions to be made, particularly around your relationship. This isn’t as simple as it would seem.

First of all, there’s the fact that he’s been dating you for so long that it’s highly possible that he’s bisexual with a heavy leaning toward men. If that’s the case, your relationship may not HAVE to end; that is if you’re willing to share him at least on occasion. On the other hand, he may now be telling you because he’s met someone that he wants to pursue a same sex relationship with.

There are so many things that you’re going to need to think through. The first one may be that you’re so in love with him that you think you’ll do anything to keep him with you even if it means that may have to share him sometimes with another man. In reality, this isn’t something that you may be able to handle.  Most people want a committed relationship with one partner and if this describes you, it bears some thinking about how you would feel being left alone while your partner was out on a date with a man.

Consider that he’s telling you because he’s made a decision of his own. He has decided that this isn’t a part of himself that he can ignore any longer and he’s going to act on it. If he asks for your forgiveness, friendship and support in coming out, try to keep in mind that this is a man you’ve loved for a while and probably still do love. The kindest thing to do for both of you is to let him go. It’s the only way that you’ll both be able to get on with your lives. Try not to hate him or resent him. When you’ve given yourself time to heal, he may be the best friend you’ve ever had or could ever have.

Moving Across the World for Love

With the Internet being so prevalent in society today, so many couples are meeting online through dating sites, chat rooms, forums or many of the other online methods that people use for meeting. It’s not uncommon at all for someone in the United States to fall in love with someone in Europe, Australia or any other country that’s across the globe.

These couples can use the Internet and telephone to get to know each other better until they decide that they are in love and destined to be together. That’s the easy part.

Considering that the two of you are thousands of miles away, you now have to make some very complicated decisions. Unless you plan to conduct a long distance relationship forever, one of you is going to have to relocate. This means that one of you is going to have to give up life as he or she knows it and move to a completely new location and culture. The question now is going to be which one of you will be doing that?

There are many factors to consider when making this decision. One of these should be the question of career. Which one of you has the better job and is making the better income? That has to definitely be a factor. The answer can become easier when you look at what sort of work the other one does and how easy or difficult it will be to get a job in a new country.

Family is another consideration. If you’re both close to your families that can become an issue as you obviously won’t be seeing them quite as much once the move has taken place. Now, if one of you either has no family or aren’t that close to them, that puts a check mark in that person’s moving list.

Of course, it’s to be hoped that each of you have had the chance to visit the other’s country. That’s another thing that must be taken into consideration. If you have visited the country of your lover’s and loved it, that can make things easier. If you find that you hated it or your partner hated your country, then you’ll have something else on the list to figure out.

Then there are pets. If one of you has a beloved pet, most likely that pet will not be left behind. You’ll need to check the laws regarding bringing animals into the country you may be moving to. Pets are like children to many owners and they won’t be willing to move if their baby cannot come, too. So if either you or your beloved has a pet that means everything in the world, country laws for the entrance of animals will need to be considered.

Another major factor of this decision is the difference in economies. The country that costs less money to live in should be a top contender unless it’s of an undesirable environment.

You and your love have a lot to go over. Do it fairly and in an orderly fashion so the best decision can be made.