You Might Be a Stalker If…..

Famous comedian Jeff Foxworthy built a very successful career around a simple, but growing, list of things that might make one a “redneck.” With the growing tendency of people to give into stalking their exes, there can be a list that will warn you as to whether or not you happen to fall into the stalker category.

Consider that this list is a very serious one, albeit, the concept a bit tongue in cheek:

• If you tend to drive by your ex’s place of residence at 3 in the morning to see if a strange car is parked in the driveway, you might be a stalker.
• If you park down the street from where you ex lives and sit there for hours on end watching the house, you might be a stalker.
• If you follow your ex daily to see what he or she is doing and with whom, you might be a stalker.
• If you call your ex at odd hours to see if you get an answer, only to hang up when you do, you might be a stalker.
• If you send gifts constantly to your ex, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you show up at public places or events that you know your ex will be attending all the time, you might be a stalker.
• If you try to visit your ex at work, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you tend to tell everyone that you are engaged to your ex when you know that you are not even dating, you might be a stalker.
• If you refuse to believe or accept that the relationship is over and continue to act as if you and your ex are a couple, you might be a stalker.

As you peruse this list, do try to be honest when it comes to assigning any of these characteristics to either yourself, or someone you care about. Stalking is a very serious action and many people have been hurt through it. Some have even lost their lives. There is help for someone with stalker tendencies but that person must be willing to admit that there is a problem, and that seems to be the most difficult thing of all to do.

Committing even one or two of the acts on the list can put you in the danger zone, but if you said yes to ALL of them, run, don’t walk, to your nearest mental health clinic because help is needed. Answering for someone else means that you may have to do the nudging and pushing for that person to get the help they require because, typically, one of the strongest symptoms of being prone to stalking is denial. If someone does not believe a relationship is over, they do not see the harm in what they are doing.

Stalking is a very serious offense and should be treated as such. While there may be humor injected into the subject, the reality is not funny at all. It needs to be handled as soon as it is identified.

Creating an Online Dating Profile – The Dos and Don’ts

• Do choose a photograph where you are well-dressed. It is not necessary to get dressed up and have a photo taken professionally, but one where you are wearing a faded t-shirt and a hat shaped like a beer can won’t do.

• Don’t lie to make yourself appear more impressive. If you are going to be dating someone who has read your profile, at some point they will get to know the real you. If they find that you lied in the first place, they will lose a lot of trust in you.
• Do make your personality come across as well as possible. If your sense of humor has been complimented by a lot of people, make a few self-deprecating jokes. Nothing that comes across as self-pity, and equally you should avoid coming across as arrogant. “I’m an international business tycoon – I’ve sold DVDs online to people in Japan and in Brazil” – something unfunny but cute like that works wonders.
• Don’t sound desperate or resentful if you haven’t had good luck before. A comment like “Are there any good men/women out there?” makes it sound like you are bitter. Even if your past hasn’t been glittering, good people exist. They won’t be attracted by self-pity, though.
• Do make yourself sound fun. This does not mean liberal use of exclamation marks and the word “crazy”, however you choose to spell it. Talk about things you enjoy and appear passionate. There are few things more attractive than someone who is enthusiastic and literate.