Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

Is it Love, Lust or a Nervous Breakdown?

David Coverdale of the band Whitesnake sang “Is this love that I’m feeling?” many years ago, and this truly does seem to be the age old question that still doesn’t have a clear cut answer to it. You experience so many of the same emotions when you’re first falling in love as you do when you simply are lusting for someone. It can be next to impossible to determine which you’re feeling until you go ahead and give into your lust only to find out that it burns itself out in a short time.

Actually, in the beginning, you’re most likely not going to know whether you’re falling in love or not.  Both love and lust bring about such reactions as:

• Severe butterflies in the stomach
• Not being able to eat
• Not being able to sleep
• Thinking of nothing else but this new person
• Talking of nothing else but this new person and driving your friends away with your constant chatter on the subject
• Leaping to answer the phone whenever it rings only to hate the person on the other end when it’s not the object of your affection
• Becoming panicked when you don’t hear from your obsession for a full day
• Facebook stalking
• In person stalking
• Finding even the most appalling habit this person has to be cute and endearing

There are more signs, but you get the idea. These are all symptoms of new love, infatuation, lust, or that you’re possibly losing your mind. When you think about it, some of these could very well be signs of a mental illness.

The issue will be trying to figure out just what’s happening to you and whether you should try to get a new relationship off the ground, have sex a few times and then leave, or see your doctor. There are a few helpful hints that might aid you in deciding whether you’re in love or just want to have sex with this person. Then you can make the decision.

First of all, give it a little time to see if your obsession calms down and morphs into something a bit saner. If it does, and you still have favorable feelings and an attraction to this person, chances are you’re on the road to a possible long term relationship. In fact, giving the situation enough time is truly the only way to tell if you’ve found a great person that you’re in love with, or whether you simply were scratching an itch.

A big thing to watch for is if those terrible habits that were so cute before have now begun to appall you, embarrass you and simply irritate you. If this is the case, you probably don’t love this person after all. The biggest sign, however, that you’re ready to move on is when the thought of sex with your former obsession makes you nauseous. When that happens, it’s time to close this particular door and walk away.

Is It Love? Or Lust?

Love or Lust?

When you get involved with someone it is often hard to tell in the beginning if you are infatuated with them or if you are in fact falling in love with them. One reason this is so difficult to discern is because many of the signs of love and infatuation are pretty close to the same. It is not until some time has passed that you can really tell the difference and by then it is often too late to do much about it.

When you first meet a person you may feel drawn to that person. This is often defined as being attracted to someone. The more you talk to this person the more drawn you feel making you want to spend more time with them. The more time you spend together the stronger this connection becomes. This is where you have to be careful because things can get kind of confusing at this point.

At this point you may find that you have trouble going to sleep at night or you are not really interested in eating much. For that matter very few things interest you if they do not involve the person that you have suddenly found yourself so attracted to. While this is technically referred to as being lovesick this does not necessarily mean that you are in love.

When you reach this stage you often find yourself jumping when the phone rings hoping it is your ‘other half’ and feeling huge disappointment when you discover that it isn’t. This is fairly normal in new relationships and doesn’t really give you a definitive answer either way on whether it is love or lust.

During this time you find yourself forever checking your appearance making sure everything is perfect when you know you are going to see this other person. When you are at this stage of a relationship you think everything about each other is perfect and the conversation never stops. You never get tired of spending time together and find that you just can’t seem to keep your hands to yourselves.

Even at this point it is often difficult to tell the difference between true love and lust. But after a couple of months the answers begin to become a little clearer. It is at this time that the ‘newness’ begins to wear off of the relationship. You begin to notice that you can tolerate being apart more than before. This does not necessarily mean that you are not in love but it does mean that the relationship is not as intense as it was in the beginning.

Now is when you will start to be able to tell the difference between love and lust. If your relationship has progressed to this point yet you still want to spend time with each other this is a good sign that it might be more than just a fleeting infatuation. The important thing is that you allow the relationship to get to this point before getting carried away to the point that you are already making wedding plans. Don’t rush it, and let the relationship flourish naturally before you make any long term commitments.