Dating a Friend – What To Look Out For

There are many situations where a simple friendship can become something more – having known somebody for a long time you realize how well you get on, and feel an inkling that there is something more there. It is a situation that needs to be treated with some caution, however. There is no doubt that a relationship that begins as simple friendship can go on to be absolutely fantastic. For a start, you know that you have things in common and that you can spend time together. It is easy to convince yourself that it would be even better if you took your friendship to “the next level”. It is important, however, to allow yourself to realize that it doesn’t always work out the way you would have hoped.

Numerous people have begun or tried to begin a relationship based on a close friendship and found that it did not work as they would have hoped. The “spark” between a couple is not always the same as a “spark” between two friends, although there are similarities. It is worth talking things over, honestly and maturely, and seeing if it is what you both really want. The danger when a friendship becomes a relationship, is that the relationship may end for any number of reasons and can put the friendship in jeopardy. Trying to make something great into something even better can leave you with nothing at all.

If you decide to give it a go, then it has certainly been shown that it can work wonderfully. As long as you go into it with your eyes open, it can work that way for you too.

Be Yourself – A Cliché, But A True Cliché

The undeniable truth that everyone who has ever had a bad date can tell you is that sometimes the spark just is not there, no matter how much you want it to be. A personal connection is not something that you can manufacture and if it isn’t there at all on the first date, the chances of it appearing later on are limited. Rather than blaming anyone, or trying to invent a feeling that isn’t really there, sometimes calling time and parting the ways is the most grown-up reaction. It is easy to get drawn into believing that you need to conform to a certain stereotype, and go into a date with that in mind. This strategy is doomed to fail.

One of the most frequently used pieces of advice anyone will ever hear is “be yourself”. It has been known to send individuals into a furious rage at the mere use of the first syllable. People do not like cliché, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes clichés become clichés because they are true. And you would be well advised to always try to be yourself, for one very good reason if nothing else – eventually, if you put on an act, that act will come to pieces. At that point it is a lot more difficult to regain your dignity and someone else’s trust than if you were honest to begin with.

You can’t make anyone like you if there is no connection there – but if someone is going to like you, it’s better that they like you for you.

Know When To Talk and When To Listen

The joys of dating are many and varied, and experiencing them all is a part of life that should be appreciated for the rare gift that it is. Being in the company of someone who makes you laugh, someone who looks at the world in a way that endears them to you, and someone who knows how to make you feel good is a feeling that cannot be bought. However, it is rare that this will happen naturally on the first meeting. If you are going to employ a strategy where dating is concerned, the most important thing is to make sure that you do not make yourself look either arrogant or meek. Being interesting company requires a balanced approach.

The key to this approach is knowing when to talk and when to listen – or as some would have it, when to talk and when to stop talking. You need to get the balance right. Staying silent all the time will make your date wonder what is wrong with you – or what is wrong with them. Either way it can bring a date to a disappointing end. Talk about yourself, but do not feel the need to share every detail about you. “I like to go to the movies every couple of weeks – even if there’s nothing good on it can be fun to see a stinker” is pretty good. “When I was seven I locked my sister in the garage for six hours” is not. Gauge their reaction and listen to what they have to say too. Don’t get drawn into feeling that the sole purpose of listening is to have something to do while waiting to talk again. A steady flow of conversation is a prime sign of a good date.

Don’t Give Up Hope – Keep Trying

Whatever method of dating you attempt, there is always the chance that the early days will be marked more by failure than by success. It is hard not to be disheartened by this, and there is little that anyone can say to make it feel less painful. As much as these pieces of advice sound like fraudulent cliché, the truth is that very often it’s not anything that’s wrong with you, that sometimes the timing is wrong, and that as long as you stay true to yourself there will be people who find you attractive. As tempting as it may be to wallow in self-deprecation, keeping faith has to be the strategy for you.

If a date goes wrong and you don’t hit it off, it is not because you yourself are fundamentally flawed. For two people to meet and get along brilliantly right away is incredibly rare. We all put up shields – otherwise we would be running around telling everybody what we thought of them, and we would be locked up or beaten up. It takes time. The fact is that sometimes you have to trust that your luck will pick up. If you don’t accept that you need to wait, you can end up convincing yourself that someone utterly unsuited to you is your soulmate – and creating a very problematic situation.

Accept that these things take time, and you will be much of the way towards getting it right. Don’t try to force it and don’t give up. Just show your best side at all times and it will happen for you.

Online dating – turn on, log in , find love

The advance of the Internet in our society has had many positive and many negative effects. Although it allows us to make contact with people on the other side of the world as easily as talking to a friend who lives just across the street, it also has been known to introduce a layer of insulation between people, almost putting up barriers to real, substantial connection and human interaction. All of this depends on the individual, and one person’s positive experience is another’s nightmare. At the base of it, only you can decide what you get from the experience.

Online dating has grown as an option for people searching for love in the past decade. Most usually this will be operated through a dating website. To use a dating website effectively you must create a profile which explains a little bit about you – your age, interests, a bit about your daily life and your hopes for the dating experience. You should also include a picture – in which your face can be seen and you are not doing anything potentially off-putting. Many people will surf through tens of profiles that they do not like before selecting one they do like. It pays to maximize your chances.

When you happen upon a profile for someone who appears to have dating potential, you can send them a message and if they reply, you can begin to communicate via e-mail, then possibly by telephone, leading up to a potential meeting. This needs to happen at a pace that suits both parties however – one being too pushy will crush all possibilities before they even begin.

The Advantages of Blind Dating

Although many people consider blind dating to be outdated in a world where the technological revolution has made close scrutiny of other people a matter of a few clicks of a mouse, it is still a fairly common way of embarking on a dating relationship. While not everyone will be enamored with the idea of meeting and dating someone whose only immediate “selling point” is a mutual friend, there are many who will trust their friend’s judgement without question – and often it works to their advantage.

No-one knows us as well as our friends. They spend time with us and they see things in us that we do not even see ourselves. As tricky as it can be to judge how well two people will get on, it is made immeasurably easier by knowing a few of their quirks, their likes and dislikes, and how they will react to the more outlandish sides of a person’s character. It is hard to ever judge a perfect fit, but few things in this world are 100% perfect, and it makes sense that a friend will be able to judge what will work for you.

At the end of the day, a relationship forming depends on two individuals finding each other’s company pleasant enough to want to make it a more regular occurrence. Such a bond cannot be invented or forced, but if anyone can spot the potential for it to form, it is someone who knows both parties well. The rest of the work is for the couple themselves.

Blind Dating – is true love blind?

The practice of blind dating is something which has been popular in many societies for many years now. TV shows have been based on the concept. It forms a staple part of the entertainment industry, with many sitcoms featuring a blind date, usually an extremely bad one, on average once every couple of series. It is still reasonably common practice, however, because individuals often enjoy match making between single friends who do not know each other. It starts with “I think x would really like y, they have so much in common”, and can end in wedding bells or bitter tears – or many points in between.

The premise behind blind dating is that a mutual friend sees two of their friends who are single and available and unlucky in love. They seem to have interests in common and personalities that are – more or less – compatible. None of this guarantees that the couple will hit it off, of course. A relationship needs to have the “X” factor, a little touch of chemistry that makes the conversation flow naturally, makes each joke funny and lets a connection happen without being forced.

The “blind” aspect of the date is that, usually, the individuals will not have met before, or even seen one another, except possibly in photographs. Despite having a friend in common, there is no guarantee that they will get along. If they do get along, however, it works out well for their friends, who get to spend time with two people they like without having to travel as much.

Disadvantages of speed dating

Looking for the right partner can be an incredibly tricky process. There are many people who think that there is one perfect person for all of us in the world – so if you never meet that person, or you meet them and it goes wrong, you have no hope. This is plainly wrong, though, because the world simply is not that ordered. It still does not stop a lot of people from losing hope, and this is why even targeted dating services can be more hindrance than help in many ways. Thinking about it realistically, how certain can you be that attending a speed dating event will bring you into contact with someone you will love, and who loves you?

Attending a speed dating event can bring you into contact with a wide range of people, some of whom you may get along with. However, looking at it objectively, there is no reason why the ideal person for you, or one of them, will be among a field that can be as small as five people. Coming back from a speed dating event not having met anyone you would want to see again – or finding that the one or more that you had a good feeling about did not reciprocate that feeling – can be pretty upsetting.

In the end, is a period of time that can be as little as three minutes long really enough time to get a feel for what someone is really like? The event can fall on a day when you simply were not at your best, so if it doesn’t happen for you, you should not lose faith in yourself.