Making Online Dating Less Scary

Online dating has become one of the more popular ways of meeting people for possible romance these days. There are hundreds of thousands of dating websites online now. They cover every type of dating and interacting that you can possibly think of. People join these sites every day and start their search for the perfect companion.

Even though this type of dating has really caught on, there are still some people that find the entire process quite scary. They don’t like the idea of hooking up with someone that they’ve only chatted to over the computer or on the phone. These are the same people that dislike blind dates even when they’re introduced by trusted friends. However, you shouldn’t back away from online dating just because you’re afraid. There are ways to make this experience a lot less scary and a lot more fun.

Decide ahead of time what your personal boundaries will be when it comes online dating. For instance, there may be certain days of the week that work better as date nights for you. If so, you need to stick to those nights even if his schedule doesn’t match yours. Try to work out something for the next week, instead. If he tries to push you for something faster, you may want to drop him because there should be no sense of urgency about a date. He may be looking for something else.

You also need to be yourself on a dating site. Just because you’re meeting someone in a more unconventional way doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Remember, whoever you are when you meet someone is who you’ll have to continue to be. That’s why it’s always best to be exactly who you are.

Another thing you need to do is be clear about what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship, then say so. If you just want someone to have sex with, be honest about that, too. Don’t send mixed signals and, hopefully, you won’t receive any in return. When you state the type of relationship that you’re looking for, that will usually stop you from wasting time with someone that wants something completely different.

Make a list of qualities that you want in a potential partner. You’ll probably have trouble finding someone that ticks all the boxes on your list, but if you keep to the most important qualities, that should point you in a good direction. If you’re not TOO particular about what you want, you’ll find someone a lot faster.

Make some dating rules that will keep you safe. Don’t give someone your home address or let him come to pick you up on the first date. Agree to meet at the place of your date as long as this place is well lit and has plenty of people around. Take your own transportation in case you need to make a fast exit. It’s also a good idea to take along your cell phone.

Once you have connected with someone that seems promising, stay true to your dating rules. Don’t meet him until YOU’RE ready. If he isn’t patient enough to wait, he’s not worth your time.

How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong

So much emphasis is made on finding Mr. Right that sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late. Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:

• He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)
• He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)
• You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)
• So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)
• He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side. (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)
• What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way. (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)
• On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)
• He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)
• He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)

Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.

Planning a Romantic First Date

Something nearly everyone gets a bit nervous about is that all important first date with someone that you really like. It’s hard not to be boring by planning something that’s so mundane and routine that it shows no imagination whatsoever. There are some things to take into consideration as to what a creative and fun first date can consist of. The following may give you some ideas to get you started:

• For the athletic couple: This is a way to spend time together and do something you both enjoy, such as engaging in some physical activity. Plan a bicycling day trip or hike. Take along a picnic lunch and let your destination be a beautiful view to enjoy while you eat.
• For the water loving couple: You can go for a lovely sail on a lake or river. If you have access to a nice boat, it’s possible to sail out to an island for either a picnic on the beach or lunch in lovely seaside restaurant. Make a day of it. The time spent on the water can be a wonderful way to talk and get better acquainted.
• For the fine arts couple: Even in cities where you may have visited museums and other cultural locations, it’s always exciting to see them with someone new that also loves them. It may even have the effect of seeing it with a fresh eye. There are also plays that you can attend together. You may even end your date by taking turns reading to each other from a book that moves both of you.
• For the fun loving couple: People that have a wonderful sense of humor usually enjoy attending comedy clubs and seeing famous comedians. This is an evening of laughter that can be quite memorable. Following the show, you may want to go out for dinner and drinks while still comparing notes on the show.
• For the childlike couple: Carnivals and fairs bring out the inner child in everyone, but if you already have good contact with YOUR inner child, this will only emphasize how much fun going on carnival rides and playing games for prizes while eating a huge cone of cotton candy can be. You may even get to steal a kiss or two in the Tunnel of Love. A trip to the zoo or the circus can also bring out that childlike fun.

Nothing gets a potential relationship off to a great start like organizing an amazing first date that hits all of the high notes of the favorite things you have in common. This is the perfect way to bond with each other and start to build off of those things you have in common.

Also, don’t feel that all of your dates have to be organized. Try spontaneity on occasion and see how that works out. You can just wake up one morning and invite this person to have breakfast with you. That can begin a lovely day of playing tourist in your own city, having lunch and ending it with dinner. What could be more perfect?

Dating and Pets

You’ve probably heard the expression “Love me, love my dog” before. However, you probably never gave a lot of thought as to what it actually means, or if you did, you most likely laughed a bit. This can be deadly serious, though, when it comes to dating if you have a pet. Not everyone is meant to be around animals and if animal lovers happen to hook up with those that aren’t crazy about pets, the fireworks that shoot into the air will not be the GOOD kind.

To begin with, you may have a dog or cat, or maybe more than one, living with you. These are your BABIES. True animal lovers really enjoy their pets and, truth be told, they feel as if these pets are more like family members than simply animals. The bond between animals and their owners is one of the most special that you’ll find anywhere. It’s a very beautiful and precious connection and should be viewed as such.

The problem comes about when a single animal lover is trying to find a romantic prospect and hooks up with someone that simply despises animals or is deathly afraid of them for some reason. It gets even worse when the two people are truly attracted to each other because this means that there are some choices to be made. The thing is that the animal lover isn’t going to give up his or her family member for someone that he or she just met.

It’s better to forego those incidents and get started off on the right foot with someone that loves animals as much as you do. This is not as difficult to do as you may think, either. You can find out how someone feels about animals simply by asking during the first conversation you have with someone that you’re interested in knowing better. That’s certainly safer than waiting until you’re ready to go out on that first date to find out that your new romantic prospect cannot stand your little dog Daisy, or your sweet tabby cat Cherry.

That first conversation where you find out all of the important things about each other is the one where you work in your love for your pets and find out how he or she feels about animals. Ask if he or she has any pets and that’s all you’ll have to do to find out what you need to know. If the answer is positive, then you know that you’ll be able to pursue something wonderful with this person. Maybe there will be play dates in the future for your pets and theirs. It may even turn into a Brady Bunch with you, your new partner and your mixture of six dogs and cats.

It’s not only a pipe dream. It can turn into a reality as long as you meet the right person. If you love animals, there’s no need to even try forming a relationship with someone that doesn’t share your love for animals. Look for suitable partners at the vet’s office, pet shows and exercise parks for animals. That’s where you’ll find the love of your life.

Dress to Impress on your First Date

Everyone knows the importance of dressing nicely on a date, but some people seem to forget the importance of dressing to impress someone when they first meet them.

The old saying about first impressions is true; if you don’t make a good first impression, then chances are you won’t have a chance to make a second impression. Take your time and choose the clothes that you are going to wear. Whether you are male or female doesn’t matter. Women tend to try to look their best no matter what they are doing; men tend to wear whatever they can find.

When women go out on a date for the first time, they are trying to tell you what kind of person they are. They give men clues as to who they are by wearing certain items of clothing and accessories. She will let you know what to expect from this date if you pay attention to the way she is dressed when you meet her at her door.

If she is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, then she is looking for adventure and fun, but if wearing a nice dress and shoes, then you better have a good restaurant picked out.

Men also tell women what to expect from a date by the way they are dressed, but it’s a bit different. Men that show up in jeans and a t-shirt may be telling you that they aren’t looking to spend a lot of money and would rather go bowling or to a movie instead. If they show up in a suit, then you are looking at a guy that likes to throw money around to impress people. He may be an over achiever or he may be highly insecure about what his life is really like.

The best thing you can do is dress somewhere in between adventure and romance. If you can manage to look good, but not overly dressed, then you are sure to give the signal that you want to have fun but not at a price that will break the bank. This goes for both men and women and makes the date much more comfortable for both of you.  You shouldn’t wear too much jewelry, either. Dressing flashy may make you feel good in public but it can embarrass your date to no end. It is generally frowned upon.

Dressing nice is a good way of making a date successful, but you have to have an attitude to go along with it to make it to the second date. If you dress like a disco reject and think of yourself as a woman’s man, then she isn’t going to want a second date with you, ever.

Women, if you dress like you just got out of the club with your girlfriends, then the guy is going to think he is welcome to come in for a drink after your date, even if you don’t want him to be thinking of you like that. So, think carefully about your clothes.

How an Indoors Girl Can Successfully Date an Outdoors Man

Consider this scenario: You’re out for the evening with a group of friends and you meet the most gorgeous man you’ve ever laid eyes on. He offers to buy you a drink and you accept, happily. As the night goes on, you and this man talk about everything.

Now, he does say that he’s more of an outdoors type of guy, but you assume that means he likes long walks on the beach and picnics in the park. You assume this because that’s YOUR idea of enjoying the great outdoors. It still doesn’t sink in when he picks you up for your first date in a jeep. You just think it’s kind of cute and different.

For whatever reason, the conversation doesn’t ever get down to the specifics of what he means by being an outdoors man. So when he asks you to go away with him for the weekend, you’re thinking a nice hotel with room service, or a romantic little bed and breakfast somewhere. What HE means is a weekend of primitive camping at his favorite spot in the closest national forest. You really should have thought better of it before telling him to just “surprise” you with the location.

There are many issues involved because among other things, you’re afraid of bugs and snakes, you LIKE to bathe and you don’t pee in the bushes. Granted, this is something you should have been forthcoming about in the beginning but who knew it was going to be a problem? Of course, NOW, you really like this guy and don’t want to mess things up. So what do you do?

It’s a bit late for an open and honest talk about how you feel regarding the Great Outdoors, but it still has to be done. Be honest about your fear of bugs and snakes. Also, you’ve got to tell him that showers and bathrooms are at the top of your list when staying somewhere. Impress upon him that you never took survivalist training and never wanted to.

If you explain all of this to him in the right way, he may not get back in his cool jeep and go home. Instead, he may find it challenging to teach you everything he knows about having fun outdoors. You may even be able to talk him into starting you out in a less intensely isolated environment. If he can compromise on at least camping within walking distance of a bathroom, that’s a start. In fact, you may even find that sleeping in a tent will be fun.

Once you get in the swing of your initiation into the wild, it’s only fair that he compromises and agrees to do the hotel and/or bed and breakfast with you, too. Life is all about compromising, and if you and your outdoors man can do that, you may each find that new experiences can be just as much fun as the tried and true ones.

Signs That You Should Keep Him

It can be really hard to find the right guy, the one that you want to spend a lot of time with, and possibly even the rest of your life. Things can start out really well and even continue to go well for a long time. But it’s hard to decide if he’ll change into another person once you decide to commit to yourself.

There are some signs you can look for to help you decide if he’s someone you want to keep around. Have a look at these and take note of them:

• He calls you at least once a day just to say “I miss you” or “I love you.” This is one of the sweetest things that a guy can do for his girl. It shows you that you’re on his mind even when he’s away from you and he wants you to know that.
• He serves you coffee in bed in the morning, or even a full breakfast. If he’s willing to “wait on you” in this manner, you can tell he really cares about you. It shows you that he doesn’t expect things to be divided up into “his and her chores.”
• He remembers special occasions like the anniversary of your first date, first kiss, your birthday and other occasions. Best of all, he remembers these days with no prompting from you.
• You receive “I love you” gifts from him. For no reason other than that he wants to do it, he’ll send you flowers or buy you a special gift.
• He knows when you need some time to yourself without being told and without whining about it. Instead, he’ll make arrangements to do something on his own with friends so that you can be alone.
• He plans, shops for, and cooks meals for the two of you. When he’s completed cooking the meal, he serves it to you.
• Housework doesn’t faze him. He’ll help you with cleaning and will even do the laundry.
• He treats you as his equal. You’re a partner, not someone that doesn’t matter and who should be subservient to him.
• The two of you can easily compromise on how you’ll spend your nights or days out. He doesn’t demand you watch sports events or attend them constantly if you don’t like them. However, if you’re going to get him to the ballet with you, be prepared to attend a sports event with him.
• He never pushes you, but instead, he’ll stand back and respect decisions you make.

Obviously, if you can find a guy with all of these qualities, you may want to lock him in a cage or something to make sure he doesn’t get away. However, if you can find someone with just a few of them, you’re still way ahead of the game. The problem that most people have is when they find a guy like this, there isn’t any chemistry. Thus, lending credence to the myth that nice guys finish last. Keeping in mind that chemistry IS important, if you meet a guy with these qualities, you may want to give the chemistry a chance, too!