Help! My Boyfriend is Gay!

You’ve been dating the same guy for a year or more and he’s all you’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s amazingly handsome, sensitive to your needs, chooses the perfect gifts, and sex is usually more about you than him. Your friends tell you how jealous they are that you’ve got someone like this in your life. Life is beautiful and you look forward to a long and happy life with this man.

Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt. He sits you down and tells you that he has something to talk about with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s serious because he seems to be very nervous and on the verge of tears. You take his hands and tell him that there’s nothing that the two of you cannot get through together. Then he drops a bomb you were totally NOT expecting. It seems that he’s come to realize that he’s gay.

There will be many questions that you’ll have and you have the right to ask them.  If he’s as great as you think he is, he’ll do the right thing and answer all of them as honestly and kindly as he can. Next, there will be some decisions to be made, particularly around your relationship. This isn’t as simple as it would seem.

First of all, there’s the fact that he’s been dating you for so long that it’s highly possible that he’s bisexual with a heavy leaning toward men. If that’s the case, your relationship may not HAVE to end; that is if you’re willing to share him at least on occasion. On the other hand, he may now be telling you because he’s met someone that he wants to pursue a same sex relationship with.

There are so many things that you’re going to need to think through. The first one may be that you’re so in love with him that you think you’ll do anything to keep him with you even if it means that may have to share him sometimes with another man. In reality, this isn’t something that you may be able to handle.  Most people want a committed relationship with one partner and if this describes you, it bears some thinking about how you would feel being left alone while your partner was out on a date with a man.

Consider that he’s telling you because he’s made a decision of his own. He has decided that this isn’t a part of himself that he can ignore any longer and he’s going to act on it. If he asks for your forgiveness, friendship and support in coming out, try to keep in mind that this is a man you’ve loved for a while and probably still do love. The kindest thing to do for both of you is to let him go. It’s the only way that you’ll both be able to get on with your lives. Try not to hate him or resent him. When you’ve given yourself time to heal, he may be the best friend you’ve ever had or could ever have.

Are You SURE You Want Your Ex Back?

The time honored phrase “Your ex is an ex for a reason” is one that makes a lot more sense than people generally give it credit for. Following a break up, you may feel as if you want to die and that you’ll never find love again. Your fondest wish may be to get back together as soon as possible. However, before you go rushing off to get on your knees and beg forgiveness for a perceived wrong, take a few minutes to consider what you’re about to do.

What was the reason for the break up? Did one of you cheat? If that’s the case, it may not be so easily repaired and you may simply want to close the door on the entire relationship. When cheating is involved, even if you’re able to reconcile, the trust is destroyed and the relationship will never be what it should be. However, if that’s what happened and both of you really want to try it again, you must be ready to put the past firmly behind you.

Did the two of you just start to drift away from each other, or grow in different directions? This may or may not be resolvable. That’s up to you and your ex. Many times, though, when you go in separate directions in your lives, your relationship is just not going to work out. It may be possible to be friends at some point, but your time as lovers is most likely past.

If your relationship was characterized by violence, that’s a definite reason to end it and never look back. A violent relationship is not love. It’s hard to figure out a name to put to this type of coupling, but love doesn’t enter into it. Therefore, this is an ex that you don’t want to ever return to. This is a totally unhealthy interaction and you need something that’s more stable in order to be happy.

Relationships that brought you nothing positive are better off left buried in the past. So, even though you may THINK you want your ex back, consider carefully the reasons that you broke up. Once you’ve gone through those reasons in an honest fashion, you may be shocked at just how relieved you feel that you’re no longer having to go through these things anymore.

Sometimes it takes being OUT of a relationship to understand just how unhealthy or controlling it was for you. That’s why you need to understand that just because a relationship has ended for you, it doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily a bad thing.

Instead, it may be giving you the opportunity to get out there and find the person you were REALLY meant to be with. A wrong relationship can keep you restricted and will hinder you from finding the right relationship that has been waiting for you all along. Don’t try to force the return of an ex that may have been all wrong for you from day one. Your ex just may possibly be an ex for a reason.

After carefully considering all of the reasons why you broke up and you still feel you want to make a go of getting your ex back, we recommend that you check out our review of the M3 System for the best possible chance of getting them back for good.