Bisexuality: Straddling the Fence

With heterosexuality being the “norm” when it comes to attraction and sexuality, second on the list would be gay and lesbian people that have bravely and confidently come out as being involved in an alternative lifestyle. There IS another group, however, that probably doesn’t get quite as much attention as the other two. That group is made up of bisexual people. These are individuals that are attracted to both men and women.

It’s a bit difficult to be a part of this group because there doesn’t seem to be any defining lines for it. If you’re heterosexual, or straight, then you’re attracted to people of the opposite sex as you. Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex as they are. Bisexuals, on the other hand, are attracted to both sexes no matter what they may be.

Oddly enough, bisexuals often have more trouble getting dates or meeting people for potential romantic relationships than either straight or gay people. One of the biggest concerns that people have with regards to dating bisexuals is the fear that a bisexual partner may leave at any time for someone of the opposite sex than their current partner. This may be true to a degree but when ANYONE is in a committed relationship, they’re not going to be looking for someone else to take up with. In other words, bisexual individuals are no more apt to leave a relationship than either a straight or gay person.

Many men find bisexual women very compelling because they have these visuals of two women  together sexually. They think that nothing could be hotter than dating a bisexual woman so they never consider the fact that these women are also normal. They don’t think about sex constantly. If they happen to meet someone of either sex that they’re attracted to, the difference is that they’re open to pursuing a relationship with that person.

If you happen to be bisexual and are trying to find someone exciting to date that will understand you, there ARE places that you can look that will land you a successful prospect or three. The internet is a great place to start. There you will find plenty of dating sites that cater to bisexual individuals. These are the sites that will allow you to pair up with someone that really understands you in a way that others never will.  One such site is QDates.com, which is a large online dating community for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people of both sexes.

If you’re into things like Speed Dating, there are events that you can attend that target bisexual people. These can be a lot of fun and you can certainly meet some interesting people this way. If you’re really successful, you’ll meet one or two people that you find delightful.

Of course, there are always bars and nightclubs that you can go to in search of some entertainment. You can choose to go to either straight clubs or gay ones, depending on your mood. That’s the true beauty of being a bisexual person. You definitely do have many more choices when it comes to the world of dating, sex, and relationships. The best thing you can do is enjoy yourself and make the most of it.

Are You Threesome Material?

The majority of relationships have usually always been between two partners. Whether this was a man and a woman, two men, or two women, it’s still a relationship consisting of a pair. Something that’s been emerging more and more over the last several years is that of triad relationships. The simple definition of a triad is commonly a couple dating the same third person.  In many instances, the third person moves in with the couple and they all live together.

A triad is becoming a more popular alternative lifestyle for bisexual people. These triads can consist of two men and a woman or two women and a man. In some cases of gay partners, it can be made up of three men or three women.  It totally depends on the type of arrangement that works best for you.

Celebrities have apparently been into these types of relationships for quite a while. Former adult movie actress, Nina Hartley, and her husband make a third woman a part of their relationship on a regular basis. Nina is admittedly bisexual and this is an arrangement that has worked quite well for this couple over the years. When they bring someone into their marriage as a third party, they also bring that woman into their home to live with them for as long as the arrangement lasts. In this case, a triad is very successful.

Threesomes have been around for centuries, but the triad is a bit newer and more inclusive than just as a one night fling. This is an arrangement where everyone lives together, sleeps together, and basically IS together. They go out to dinner together, see movies together, and attend parties and other social gatherings all as a triad. They don’t hide their lifestyle, either. People involved in triad simply don’t look at what they do as anything really out of the ordinary because, for them, it IS normal.

For the many women these days that are having trouble with finding the right relationship, a triad could be another option that would have them involved in a meaningful relationship in a much shorter time. Of course, if you’re not bisexual, it’s probably not something you would be interested in unless you have the chance to become involved in a triad with two men. It depends on just how open minded you are. If you’re more of a traditionalist, a triad is probably not going to work for you. However, if you’re open to trying new things, it’s certainly something that you may want to consider.

A triad is a non-traditional relationship that’s truly not for everyone, but you may surprise yourself. Most of the time, it’s all a matter of the people involved in these sorts of relationships. You may consider all sorts of alternative options just by meeting the right people that will push all of your good buttons. If not, there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be a traditionalist and be in a relationship with one partner.

Help! My Boyfriend is Gay!

You’ve been dating the same guy for a year or more and he’s all you’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s amazingly handsome, sensitive to your needs, chooses the perfect gifts, and sex is usually more about you than him. Your friends tell you how jealous they are that you’ve got someone like this in your life. Life is beautiful and you look forward to a long and happy life with this man.

Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt. He sits you down and tells you that he has something to talk about with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s serious because he seems to be very nervous and on the verge of tears. You take his hands and tell him that there’s nothing that the two of you cannot get through together. Then he drops a bomb you were totally NOT expecting. It seems that he’s come to realize that he’s gay.

There will be many questions that you’ll have and you have the right to ask them.  If he’s as great as you think he is, he’ll do the right thing and answer all of them as honestly and kindly as he can. Next, there will be some decisions to be made, particularly around your relationship. This isn’t as simple as it would seem.

First of all, there’s the fact that he’s been dating you for so long that it’s highly possible that he’s bisexual with a heavy leaning toward men. If that’s the case, your relationship may not HAVE to end; that is if you’re willing to share him at least on occasion. On the other hand, he may now be telling you because he’s met someone that he wants to pursue a same sex relationship with.

There are so many things that you’re going to need to think through. The first one may be that you’re so in love with him that you think you’ll do anything to keep him with you even if it means that may have to share him sometimes with another man. In reality, this isn’t something that you may be able to handle.  Most people want a committed relationship with one partner and if this describes you, it bears some thinking about how you would feel being left alone while your partner was out on a date with a man.

Consider that he’s telling you because he’s made a decision of his own. He has decided that this isn’t a part of himself that he can ignore any longer and he’s going to act on it. If he asks for your forgiveness, friendship and support in coming out, try to keep in mind that this is a man you’ve loved for a while and probably still do love. The kindest thing to do for both of you is to let him go. It’s the only way that you’ll both be able to get on with your lives. Try not to hate him or resent him. When you’ve given yourself time to heal, he may be the best friend you’ve ever had or could ever have.