As a Gay Man Are You Just “Settling?”

When many gay men first decide to come out as who they really are, they’re a bit hesitant about approaching the men that they want to get to know better. Instead, when they go out to have some fun and meet guys that they aren’t all that interested in, they’ll still hook up with them. They feel it’s better to settle for what they can get even if it’s not exactly what they truly want. If this describes you, it needs to stop right now!

Depending on how long you’ve known you are attracted to men, you may or may not have a “type” that you’re more drawn to than others. If you know what you like, don’t just settle for what doesn’t attract you. It’s not fair to you nor is it fair to the guy that’s interested in you. On the other hand, if you have no clue exactly what sort of man you want to be in your life, you’ll have to spend some time with the process of elimination. This doesn’t have to be cruel, either. You just need to put yourself out there where you’re sure to meet other gay men so that you can scope out what’s available to you.

Start by finding an image that represents your “ideal” man. It can be a movie star, a model, or even a porn star. Then grade these images on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of how attractive or hot you find each one. Next, you’re going to choose a private location, such as your bedroom, and tape your final choice of the ideal man for you to a full length mirror. Now, assign a grade to your own attractiveness by using the same 1 to 10 scale. Make the comparison between your reflection and the picture.

This is an exercise that serves as a reality check to help you to keep your desires and expectations in line with the type of man that you can realistically expect to attract. It also works to help you increase your own scores by doing some self-improvement techniques. This includes working on your physical appearance and other presentation areas. As your personal scores improve, so will your self-esteem and give you the confidence to go out and find that perfect man for you.

Now, doesn’t that sound a lot better than just settling for men that really don’t do anything for you? It may not be as immediate as just going out and going home with some guy, but this way can bring about a more permanent relationship into your life. Besides, you need to be the best you can be, anyway, and this is a great way of reaching your full potential.

Just remember that everyone has something to work with. You may not have what it takes to land a celebrity, but then how many guys REALLY have that potential unless they’re in that world? You’ll find who you want in your life and be a lot happier.   You can start meeting sincere, single gay men at online dating sites such as All Gay Dating – Click here to meet gay men today!

Being the Other Man In a Gay Relationship

Gay men often face the dilemma of being the other man in relationships. This is more than just cheating on a partner, although it can be that as well. The kind of other man that can really turn into a painful situation is that of being in love with a gay man that’s still fully in the closet and married to a woman.

As incredible as it may be, this is something that still happens much more than it should.  Typically, it begins with meeting the man of your dreams in a gay environment, such as a bar, and spending the evening dancing, drinking and talking together. By the end of the evening, he asks for your phone number and you hand it over.

If you ask for his, he’ll probably make up some excuse for not giving it to you. It may sound totally plausible, so it will allay any doubts that you may have initially. This is the first signal that you should NOT ignore. He doesn’t want you calling him in case his wife answers or tends to check his cell phone often.

The next thing that may happen is that when he does call you, it’s not to make a date in the future. He wants you to meet him somewhere right then. The location is probably going to be well out of your local area. He may give you some story about how amazing this restaurant is or something that makes sense to you. Dinner goes pretty well even though it may seem that he keeps glancing around frequently as if he’s watching for someone. This is a sign that he’s nervous that someone will see him with you.

Following dinner, he may be in a hurry to exit the restaurant, but at the same time, he’s a bit amorous. You start to think that he’ll want to go home with you or may even invite you to his place. That doesn’t happen, though. Instead, he suggests a nearby hotel, or worse, he tries to take you parking. This should be setting off all sorts of alarm bells for you.

Hopefully, you’ll question these things before you fall too deeply in love with him. If not, it will only be a matter of time before you find out his true situation in life. When you’re involved romantically with a married man, there are some hard decisions ahead of you unless you can help him become brave enough to open that closet door and step bravely into the light.

If he’s too afraid to give up all the things in his public life, it’s going to be a difficult road for you. He probably DOES love you as much as he says he does, but he lacks the courage to be himself. Unless he has children with his wife, there may be a chance that you can help him to come out. If he does have children, you’ll probably be asked to wait until they graduate from college because he can’t possibly leave until then. Can you deal with being mostly alone until then? It’s a hard choice only you can make.

There are a lot of sincere, commitment-oriented gay singles you can meet online.  We recommend that you check out All Gay Dating to meet gay singles today.

Bringing Your Gay Lover Home to Meet the Family

Nothing is better than finally meeting the partner of your dreams after you’ve firmly and completely come out of the closet. Families are usually split about half and half these days when it comes to how they react to being told that their son or daughter is gay. Some families are very supportive of their child’s lifestyle while others are hurt, angry and in denial.

Sadly, many people lose their families over their sexual orientation. For those that still have their families in their lives, there will come a day when you’ll want to bring home your lover to meet them. The only reason that this can be a bit different than any straight person introducing the love of his or her life to the family is because there are so many varied degrees of acceptance that a family can be at.

First of all, if you have a supportive and loving family that wants only your happiness, you’ll have an easy time of it when bringing home your lover for the first time. All you’ll need to do is to call your family well ahead of time so that they can prepare. This is no different from a straight person preparing to bring home a lover. You’re just being considerate in case there’s any cleaning or cooking that your family wants to do before your arrival. When you and your partner arrive, introduce him or her to your family and allow them some time to get acquainted.

If you’ve only recently come out to your family and they’re still grappling with the news, you may need to tread a bit lightly. Make a date for you and your partner to meet with your family ahead of time. This gives you a chance to gauge how your family really is taking the news of your lifestyle. If you feel safer on your own territory, host a lunch or dinner at your home. In this way, you give your family an escape route if they start feeling uncomfortable. Keep things light and don’t be overly affectionate with your partner until everyone has adjusted.

For families that simply refuse to accept who you are, there’s not a lot you can do. In fact, you probably don’t want to subject someone you love to the treatment that he or she will most likely receive at the hands of homophobic family members. Tell your partner about your family. Show him or her photos and tell stories about your childhood. Let your partner get acquainted with your family through your words. In that way, if your family ever turns around and decides to love you and accept you unconditionally, your partner will at least be somewhat familiar with them.

Families are meant to be important. However, if your family cannot seem to accept you and your newfound happiness, you may need to move forward in your life without them as a part of it. It’s not your fault. You deserve to be happy. If they can’t be happy with you, they don’t truly love you. Move on with your partner.