Dealing with Overzealous Parents When Coming Out of the Closet

Families take the news that they have a gay or lesbian child in various ways. Some of them are horrified once their child comes out of the closet and drive this child away from home and their lives. Other families are quietly disappointed but supportive because they want their child to be happy.

Then there are the families that are not only supportive but do their very best to jump right into this new alternative lifestyle of their child. They host gatherings that allow them the chance to show just how “cool” and “open minded” they are about their child being gay. In fact, they do everything possible to help their child live a truly happy life as a lesbian or gay man.

One of the first things that these overzealous parents tend to do is try to set their child up with various other gay people in hopes of finding just the perfect partner. While this is a wonderful and very loving thought, it can become very tiring for the grown up child at the center of all of this attention. Something that these enthusiastic parents don’t seem to get is that people want to find their own partners in their own way.

Parents usually aren’t going to know exactly what type of person that their child is going to be most attracted to. Yet, that doesn’t seem to stop them. It’s like these parents are trying so very hard to show their support for their child that they’re trying TOO hard.

Now, once you’ve moved past the shock that your parents don’t hate you and aren’t horrified that you’re gay, your next issue becomes just what to do to slow them down a bit without hurting their feelings.

Obviously, you don’t want to appear ungrateful of their understanding, especially when you think about how many of your gay friends were tossed out on their ears when their families found out they were gay. Still, you need to be allowed to choose your own dates and see where they lead.

The first thing to try may be the only thing you need to do. Since your parents are trying to be so supportive of your lifestyle, all you may have to do is sit them down and talk to them. Tell them very honestly that you’re so appreciative of their love and support of your lifestyle. Be sure that you emphasize that fact. Then, as gently and lovingly as possible, explain to them that you prefer to meet your potential partners on your own.

It’s so very important that you make your explanations matter of fact and in a manner that lets your parents know just how much you love them for accepting you. Then, let them know that they can relax because you do know just how much they love you. They don’t have to keep trying to prove anything to you or to anyone else.

If you have this conversation in just the right way, your parents will most likely calm down and settle back into life as they know it. Then you can move along in your life, finding your own partner.

As a Gay Man Are You Just “Settling?”

When many gay men first decide to come out as who they really are, they’re a bit hesitant about approaching the men that they want to get to know better. Instead, when they go out to have some fun and meet guys that they aren’t all that interested in, they’ll still hook up with them. They feel it’s better to settle for what they can get even if it’s not exactly what they truly want. If this describes you, it needs to stop right now!

Depending on how long you’ve known you are attracted to men, you may or may not have a “type” that you’re more drawn to than others. If you know what you like, don’t just settle for what doesn’t attract you. It’s not fair to you nor is it fair to the guy that’s interested in you. On the other hand, if you have no clue exactly what sort of man you want to be in your life, you’ll have to spend some time with the process of elimination. This doesn’t have to be cruel, either. You just need to put yourself out there where you’re sure to meet other gay men so that you can scope out what’s available to you.

Start by finding an image that represents your “ideal” man. It can be a movie star, a model, or even a porn star. Then grade these images on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of how attractive or hot you find each one. Next, you’re going to choose a private location, such as your bedroom, and tape your final choice of the ideal man for you to a full length mirror. Now, assign a grade to your own attractiveness by using the same 1 to 10 scale. Make the comparison between your reflection and the picture.

This is an exercise that serves as a reality check to help you to keep your desires and expectations in line with the type of man that you can realistically expect to attract. It also works to help you increase your own scores by doing some self-improvement techniques. This includes working on your physical appearance and other presentation areas. As your personal scores improve, so will your self-esteem and give you the confidence to go out and find that perfect man for you.

Now, doesn’t that sound a lot better than just settling for men that really don’t do anything for you? It may not be as immediate as just going out and going home with some guy, but this way can bring about a more permanent relationship into your life. Besides, you need to be the best you can be, anyway, and this is a great way of reaching your full potential.

Just remember that everyone has something to work with. You may not have what it takes to land a celebrity, but then how many guys REALLY have that potential unless they’re in that world? You’ll find who you want in your life and be a lot happier.   You can start meeting sincere, single gay men at online dating sites such as All Gay Dating – Click here to meet gay men today!

Being the Other Man In a Gay Relationship

Gay men often face the dilemma of being the other man in relationships. This is more than just cheating on a partner, although it can be that as well. The kind of other man that can really turn into a painful situation is that of being in love with a gay man that’s still fully in the closet and married to a woman.

As incredible as it may be, this is something that still happens much more than it should.  Typically, it begins with meeting the man of your dreams in a gay environment, such as a bar, and spending the evening dancing, drinking and talking together. By the end of the evening, he asks for your phone number and you hand it over.

If you ask for his, he’ll probably make up some excuse for not giving it to you. It may sound totally plausible, so it will allay any doubts that you may have initially. This is the first signal that you should NOT ignore. He doesn’t want you calling him in case his wife answers or tends to check his cell phone often.

The next thing that may happen is that when he does call you, it’s not to make a date in the future. He wants you to meet him somewhere right then. The location is probably going to be well out of your local area. He may give you some story about how amazing this restaurant is or something that makes sense to you. Dinner goes pretty well even though it may seem that he keeps glancing around frequently as if he’s watching for someone. This is a sign that he’s nervous that someone will see him with you.

Following dinner, he may be in a hurry to exit the restaurant, but at the same time, he’s a bit amorous. You start to think that he’ll want to go home with you or may even invite you to his place. That doesn’t happen, though. Instead, he suggests a nearby hotel, or worse, he tries to take you parking. This should be setting off all sorts of alarm bells for you.

Hopefully, you’ll question these things before you fall too deeply in love with him. If not, it will only be a matter of time before you find out his true situation in life. When you’re involved romantically with a married man, there are some hard decisions ahead of you unless you can help him become brave enough to open that closet door and step bravely into the light.

If he’s too afraid to give up all the things in his public life, it’s going to be a difficult road for you. He probably DOES love you as much as he says he does, but he lacks the courage to be himself. Unless he has children with his wife, there may be a chance that you can help him to come out. If he does have children, you’ll probably be asked to wait until they graduate from college because he can’t possibly leave until then. Can you deal with being mostly alone until then? It’s a hard choice only you can make.

There are a lot of sincere, commitment-oriented gay singles you can meet online.  We recommend that you check out All Gay Dating to meet gay singles today.