Signs that Your Woman is Cheating on You

Everyone knows that men cheat all the time. It’s almost like it’s in their DNA or something. If it’s genetic, they just can’t help themselves, right?  While that’s probably a lot of nonsense, something else to consider is that women also cheat. They may not cheat quite as much as men, but they DO step out on their men for various reasons. Sometimes they’re better at hiding it than their cheating male counterparts, though. There are signs, however, that you can look for if you think your woman may be cheating on you. They include:

• Accusing YOU of cheating: This is a way of diverting the guilt from herself to you. Even worse, is if you’ve cheated on her before, she may give herself permission to get even with you by cheating. Either way, she knows what she’s done and figures that you may be doing the same thing.
• Starting to look her best when she goes out: When you notice your partner suddenly dressing to the nines when she’s supposedly going grocery shopping or to the gym, you may want to investigate why she needs to look so gorgeous.
• Telling you she needs some space: While this doesn’t always mean she’s cheating, it can mean that she wants you out of the way so she’ll be free to meet a lover.
• Hinting that she’s not happy: If your partner is telling you things like she needs more romance in her life, and that she loves things like getting flowers and love notes, you need to take her seriously. You see, if YOU don’t hear what she’s telling you, someone ELSE WILL.
• Making a new best friend that you’ve never met: In this case, it’s not so much that she’s made a new best friend and you’ve never met this friend, it’s that she’s suddenly spending lots of time with this new friend. In addition, she always has an excuse for why it’s not a good time to meet her.
• Changing her plans at the very last minute: For example, she’s gone out for a night on the town with the new best friend that you’ve never met and calls you around midnight with some excuse for why she’s just going to crash at her friend’s place for the night.
• Your friends are telling you she’s cheating: Of course you don’t want to believe something like that, and she’s told you it’s not true. However, if more than one person tells you they know she’s cheating, it’s probably true.
• Suddenly wanting to keep close tabs on you: When your woman is cheating on you, she needs to make sure that she’s not likely to run into you while she’s doing it.
• Making excuses for not having sex: This should be a huge red flag, especially if she was always raring to go in the past. Now, all of a sudden, she’s too tired, doesn’t feel well, or has the most frequent and longest periods in history.
• Has no interest in the relationship: She probably doesn’t care enough to even argue with you anymore.

You may think that these are all pretty obvious signs of cheating but you would be surprised at how many of them that men actually miss.

Your Man Just Hit on Me…

A situation that comes up more often than anyone would like to admit is the one where your boyfriend, fiance or husband actually hits on a good friend of yours. It’s definitely one of the more humiliating things that can happen to anyone and it’s also one that’s very difficult to know how to handle. There are many things that come to mind at first, but there are also other things to consider before making an immediate decision.

To begin with, you need to consider the source. Is the person telling you that your man just hit on her a reliable person? Or is she someone that has been known to be jealous of you in the past and has lied to you on more than one occasion? If that’s the case, you’ll want some definitive proof that she’s not lying to you this time before you start throwing your man’s clothes out onto the front lawn. Witnesses would be ideal but they usually aren’t part of the equation as even a man stupid enough to hit on his woman’s friend will be smart enough to do it privately. So you’ll have to take another route in sniffing out the truth.

The best method to try is taking them both by surprise. Get them both together in front of you and confront him with what you’ve been told. Unless your man is an exceptional liar, you’ve probably noticed little things he does when he’s not being completely truthful with you. Watch him closely because you don’t want to miss that first involuntary response from him when you make the initial accusation. You should be able to tell if he’s guilty as charged.

Now, if he DID actually hit on your friend, you’re most likely going to want to know why. Ask the question if you really want the answer. But you’re still going to need to decide whether he stays or goes. Can you ever trust him again? Probably not. Has this ever happened before while you’ve been together? It may have. Was he drunk when he made the pass? Does it really matter? The bottom line is that he was TRYING to cheat on you and that’s not acceptable in a monogamous relationship.

So unless you want to entertain the idea of threesomes and swapping, this is one man that you probably will want to send on his way. Don’t put yourself through the agony of worrying about whether or not he can be trusted around your friends. You should be able to have attractive friends without limiting yourself to only those that probably will be old maids until they leave the earth. There should be trust between the two of you and if you’ve got to worry about whether or not he’s in the hall bathroom trying to feel up your best friend, it’s simply not worth it. Help him pack and take away his door key. Then you can find someone that’s worthy of you and who won’t behave like a wild animal in heat with anyone other than you.

Signs That You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Too many relationships these days fall into the category of being abusive. This doesn’t always have to involve physical harm. There are also such things as emotional and verbal abuse and these are far more common. This sort of abuse doesn’t leave any outer scars. All of the damage is done on the inside. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship and not realize it. Look over the following signs and see if you fit in with any of them:

• You’ve been isolated from your family and friends: This is a classic sign of an emotionally abusive partner. The first thing they want to do is keep you from interacting with anyone outside of themselves. They don’t want you to be able to tell anyone else what’s being done to you.
• Your partner is verbally abusive to you: Whenever someone calls you terrible names, it’s meant to hurt you and keep you in line. Abusive partners will blame you for being too sensitive and not being able to take a joke. They tend to be able to convince you that this is normal and you’re the one with the problem.
• He blames everyone else for his problems: This is a really bad sign, especially if you’re the main one he or she blames. When they throw tantrums and verbally attack you, they’ll say it’s your fault. A healthy relationship has both parties taking responsibility for things.
• Drug and alcohol use: Not every abuser has to be addicted to something, but it certainly makes things worse. Addicts are typically erratic and display inappropriate behavior that can turn violent.
• Makes you afraid: If you’re afraid of your partner, something is definitely not right. Abusers use fear to intimidate you and if you’re afraid, you’re being abused.
• Metes out punishment for being away from him: This goes hand in hand with isolating you from family and friends. He wants you all to himself. So if you do go somewhere and leave him at home, he’s going to be very irate. He may even act out when he goes along because there were other people there and he had to share you.
• You’re expected to wait on him hand, foot and bedpan: Abusive men feel entitled to be treated like royalty and they expect you to be their submissive servant.  They’re not going to help you, ever.
• He’s insanely jealous of you: Jealousy is a prominent trait exhibited by abusers. They’re jealous over other people paying attention to you, over you paying attention to them, and even over your goals and dreams. They don’t feel as if they can control those parts of your life so they go crazy.
• He’s very manipulative and controls you by his emotions: If an abuser doesn’t get his way, he’ll pout, threaten to leave, or wield emotional punishment on you. He’ll also use guilt. If you finally reach the end of your rope, he’ll beg you not to leave, crying and promising to change. His “remorse” doesn’t last very long and as soon as you’ve given in, he’ll return to his abusive ways.

Sadly, these can lead up to eventual physical abuse if you let things continue. The best idea is to get out of this relationship fast and don’t ever look back.

Dealing with an Addictive Relationship

You may or may not recognize being in an addictive relationship. The symptoms will be clear but, just like all addicts; you won’t necessarily acknowledge the addiction. It is not easy to deal with this kind of relationship once you’re solidly in it. These relationships don’t produce happiness. In fact, you’ll most likely be miserable with feelings of pain, regret and guilt. You may also be a little angry, bitter and sad.

Addictive relationships are some of the most destructive forces you’ll ever face, and it gets worse the longer it lasts. The hardest part is to admit to yourself that you’re in an addictive relationship. However, it’s the first important step to take. An addictive relationship only makes you stressed and you won’t feel loved or cared for. It just makes you feel worthless, tired, with no self-esteem while making you desperate for affection.

Sadly, addictive relationships are all too common. The reasons they develop are many and varied. You may have watched your parents’ relationship when you were young and thought that was normal even if it wasn’t. Also, you may have not had love and affection when you were a child and you feel it’s normal to be treated this way in a relationship.

If you want to make some positive changes in your life, you’ve got to admit what you’re involved in. It’s common to be in denial and you need to be honest with yourself. If you’re not sure if your relationship is addictive or not, ask yourself if you make excuses for the way your partner behaves or cover up his or her bad behavior to others. If this is normal behavior for you, most likely your relationship is addictive.

When you know this, it’s hoped that you’ll want out of it. The first thing you should do is talk about it. Tell your story to friends or family, if you can. Seek out a relationship counselor.

Sometimes fear keeps you paralyzed. This can be fear that you’ll never find anyone else to love, fear of starting over, fear of getting involved with the same type of partner or fearing that you’ll be alone. Don’t ever fall into the trap of believing that a bad relationship is better than none at all. While you heal from this destructive relationship, your confidence and self-esteem can rebuild.

The most important part of recovering from emotional addiction is to make yourself the priority. Invest time into breaking all of your old bad habits. Look back on previous relationships to find signs of emotional abuse or dependency. If you spot a pattern forming, it’s time to break that as well. Concentrate on what you need and on moving forward. This will help you break those chains of negativity.

Trying to get love from someone who can’t give it is truly pointless. You’ve got to regain control over yourself as well as your environment. That’s when you can break the destructive pattern of addictive relationships and start over.