Do You REALLY Want a Married Man?

So you’ve landed yourself a handsome, successful and wealthy man to be with. He’s so romantic and never forgets special occasions. You can depend on him to buy gifts for you that you’ll love and will get noticed when you go out in public. He even sends you suggestive and sexy text messages for no reason. There’s no doubt that he adores you. Oh yes, he does sound perfect. Too bad you can’t tell anyone about him because he’s married.

You may have talked yourself into thinking you’re living in the middle of a romantic fairytale when actually what you’ve done is create a fantasy world for yourself. Part of you knows that it’s wrong of you to be stealing a man away from another woman. On the other hand, it’s not like you’re actually stealing him. It’s more like you’re borrowing him. Before you start protesting, has he told you that he’s leaving his wife to marry you? If he has, that’s one of the many lies this man has told you and will be telling you in the future.

Being involved with a married man rarely brings anything except heartache to everyone that’s a part of the situation. The list of lies is common and never changes. They include:

• He’s never done anything like this before (his wife may be able to enlighten you as where you fall on the list of women).
• His wife doesn’t understand him, isn’t interested in sex anymore, or leads her own life (actually, he still consults with his wife over important matters or decisions, has sex with her regularly and they take trips together).
• As soon as his kids are old enough to leave home, he’s going to divorce her and the two of you can be together. Find out how old these kids are. If they’re not even 10 yet, how many years are you willing to wait for them to grow up and move away?

Going down that list, here are the truths:

• If he’s willing to cheat on his wife with you, the odds are good that he’s done it many times before. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last.  Also don’t be surprised if his wife contacts you at some point. If she doesn’t know about you yet, she will.
• While you’re taking trips alone on your vacation, he’s off on a second honeymoon with his wife in the Caribbean.
• He may genuinely care about his kids and not hurting them. In fact, most men that cheat on their wives dearly love their kids and will do anything to protect them from getting hurt. This includes divorce. The bottom line is that he’s never going to leave his wife for you.

Add all of this to the fact that you’ll most likely be spending all holidays and anniversaries alone, attending events unescorted, and growing older and lonelier all the time.   In the end, is this the type of life you want for yourself? Don’t you deserve better than to be a booty call for a married man?

Are You Being Played by a Player?

The word “player” doesn’t mean anything positive when it comes to dating and relationships. A lot of guys LIKE the term and are quite flattered to be called that. It’s too bad that they are not mature enough to understand that it’s really NOT a compliment.

A player is, in essence, someone that manipulates, or “plays,” someone else to get what they want from the experience. Guys that wear this label typically hit on lovely women with the intent of getting them into bed at some point during their interaction, be it a night or a month. They win these women over through the sheer force of their personalities or by knowing exactly the right things to say and do.

Among the many negative qualities of a player is the way he reels in his women. He makes the woman of his current interest feel that she is the most beautiful and desirable woman on the face of the planet. Then he continues to build her up and make her the focus of his unwavering attention for however long he wants her around.

Once he’s received everything he wants from the experience, things start to change. This can happen drastically and all at once, or it can start to be noticed a little over time. Either way, the woman is on her way out when this change starts.

Women should do all they can to protect themselves from this type of predator, and make no mistake about it; a predator is exactly what a player is. He may not be physically harming anyone, but he’s certainly making short work of a woman’s self-esteem, not to mention the heartache he injects into her life. A player sucks all the good things that a woman feels about herself right out of her and leaves her feeling like a shell of her former self.

How do you protect yourself from this particular animal? First of all, use your intuition from the very beginning. You know that little feeling that tells you this guy is just TOO GOOD to be true? That’s what you’re going to pay attention to. If he seems to know all the right things to say to you and he is smothering you with all sorts of attention, back up a bit. See if you can find anyone in the vicinity that knows him. If he’s a player, other people will know him because you will have inadvertently stumbled into his territory. Pay close attention to what you find out.

There are some things to watch for, too. If this guy is gorgeous and confident, but other women are avoiding him, there’s a reason for that. You’re probably just a new pastry for him to try out. Supposing that you do get hooked up with him innocently enough, you’ll start to get an idea that he’s a player when his interest starts to cool. If it happens to you, don’t feel bad. Nearly, every woman alive has gone through at least one player in her life. It’s a case of live and learn.