The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone

Typically, you can tell when you’re in a relationship that’s really going nowhere, and you can feel when you’re ready to end that relationship. While it’s always good to know where you stand, it’s also wise to realize when the time of the break up is not right. Obviously, breaking up is never going to be easy, but you can make it even worse by choosing the wrong time to end a relationship.

For instance, birthdays are TERRIBLE times to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE his birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose the day before, of, or the day after his birthday to break up, it will always leave a bad feeling with him. Every birthday is going to remind him that his relationship ended at that time. So, if you can manage it, time the break up so that it’s a decent amount of time on either side of his birthday and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.

Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining it for him for a very long time, if not forever. That’s why knowing when you’re ready to leave a relationship is a good thing as you can time the break up for a day that doesn’t mean anything to either of you.

Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that this particular holiday may never be enjoyable again if the break up is pretty bad.  Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money because you most likely won’t be buying gifts for each other. In addition, the holidays just turn into very sad occasions when a relationship ends during them. This is true of the days immediately before and after them.

The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow him well into the future. You should be kind about the timing of your break up.

The exception to this rule is if your about to be ex is cheating on you and you just found out, or he’s done something even more horrendous. In cases such as those, he DESERVES to be miserable for future special days.

Special Doesn’t Have to Mean Expensive

So many people today neglect giving gifts for special occasions or just to saying “I love you” because they don’t feel they’ve got enough money to get something really nice. This is such an error in thinking.

Consider the current economy for a second. Unless they happen to be independently wealthy through family money or having a really good career, everyone else is most likely in the same financial boat as you, paddling very fast just to stay afloat. In other words, no one else has money to spend extravagantly, either.

You may wonder what it is you’re supposed to do when things come up in your relationship such as anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other holidays.  Some men have been known to pull a break up just before special days just so that they don’t have to worry about buying a gift. Once the day has safely passed, they start doing things to get back together with their ex until the next special day rolls around.  Sooner or later, the exes are going to get wise to this charade and simply get off of the roller coaster.

Don’t do this to your relationship. Have enough respect for your partner to be honest.  You may not have to talk about it at all. Instead, just do something imaginative on your own. There are many special ways of celebrating inexpensively.

• Arrange an indoor picnic: This can be lots of fun. You can choose to have hamburgers, hotdogs, pizza or any other affordable meal.  Spread out a tablecloth on the floor and add some candles for atmosphere. If the weather’s cold, a cozy fire in the fireplace is wonderful. Put on some favorite sexy music and toast with sodas.
• Pick various wildflowers for a bouquet: You can do this as an “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you” surprise. There are some wildflowers that are really quite lovely. You may also have access to privately grown roses, daffodils, irises and other flowers that you can cut and turn into a gorgeous bouquet.
• Make and serve breakfast in bed: This will mean so much on those mornings that you don’t have to get up at any certain time.  Even if all you can cook is toast, add a cup of coffee and a glass of juice and it’s still very much the thought that counts.
• Use your talents: It may be that you’re a phenomenal cook. If so, plan out a meal that you can afford and make it a fabulous night to remember. Maybe you’re a writer. Everyone enjoys love poems written especially for them. If you’re a musician, you’ve always got the perfect gift right there with you. Write a song just for your beloved.

As you can see, there are ways of getting around spending money that you don’t have and still do something special for the one you love. Take these ideas and add others of your own. Once your creative juices get flowing, there’s no end to the surprises that you can supply.

Surviving Interracial Relationship Tension During the Holidays

People all over the world look forward to the holidays and getting together with family and friends to celebrate together. Interracial couples are certainly no different. They decorate, shop for gifts, plan family dinners and parties just like everyone else.

Unfortunately, in some families there may exist a certain amount of tension during these gatherings due to how some family members may feel about interracial relationships.  This tension is due to the fact that not everyone in the family is happy with or agrees with interracial couples being together.  The same can also be said for many gay or lesbian couples as well.

While it is quite astonishing that there’s still such ignorance in the world that breeds the belief that the color of one’s skin is harmful to others, it’s necessary to understand there are still people who actually hold these beliefs.

Therefore, if the love of your life is of a different race than you, it may be challenging in some ways but you can actually make it through the holidays by preparing ahead of time. It’s especially important that you keep this tension to a minimum if you have children. They should not be allowed to be exposed to and damaged by the ignorance of others.

How do you still enjoy the holidays with your family when they so clearly don’t approve of the very thing that’s made you happier than you’ve ever been in your life?

There’s no easy answer to this question. However, there are some things that you can try to do to ease some of this tension. You need to put these into practice ahead of time so the stage is set by the time everyone is gathered at your home. This way, there will be no surprises and everyone understands upfront how things will work.

First of all, make note of all the people on either side of your families that have any issues with your relationship. It doesn’t matter who they are or how they’re related to you and your partner. If they have a problem with your relationship, consider taking them off the guest list. There’s no need to invite difficulty into your home when you’re trying to enjoy a happy time of the year. Granted, this could be a difficult choice for you if it’s a parent or grandparent that objects to your relationship. But, as sad as that is, think about how the gathering would be affected by rude comments or unnecessary negativity coming from this person throughout the entire event.

Suppose one side of the family objects to your relationship and the other one does not. You can choose to have only the accepting family attend a holiday gathering at your home.

It’s also possible for just one of you to spend some time with the side of the family that objects, but that’s sending the wrong message. If you’re a couple, then you want to present a united front telling everyone that if they can’t accept you as a couple, then they don’t need to accept just one of you at all.

The bottom line is that obviously, if there’s an issue of disapproval, you’ll want to keep that out of your holiday celebrations.  No matter what others may think or feel, your relationship is just as valid as everyone else’s and you both deserve to be respected and to be free to build lasting and happy holiday memories.  It may come down to making some hard decisions to enable this, but you’ll feel better in the long run.