Making Online Dating Less Scary

Online dating has become one of the more popular ways of meeting people for possible romance these days. There are hundreds of thousands of dating websites online now. They cover every type of dating and interacting that you can possibly think of. People join these sites every day and start their search for the perfect companion.

Even though this type of dating has really caught on, there are still some people that find the entire process quite scary. They don’t like the idea of hooking up with someone that they’ve only chatted to over the computer or on the phone. These are the same people that dislike blind dates even when they’re introduced by trusted friends. However, you shouldn’t back away from online dating just because you’re afraid. There are ways to make this experience a lot less scary and a lot more fun.

Decide ahead of time what your personal boundaries will be when it comes online dating. For instance, there may be certain days of the week that work better as date nights for you. If so, you need to stick to those nights even if his schedule doesn’t match yours. Try to work out something for the next week, instead. If he tries to push you for something faster, you may want to drop him because there should be no sense of urgency about a date. He may be looking for something else.

You also need to be yourself on a dating site. Just because you’re meeting someone in a more unconventional way doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Remember, whoever you are when you meet someone is who you’ll have to continue to be. That’s why it’s always best to be exactly who you are.

Another thing you need to do is be clear about what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship, then say so. If you just want someone to have sex with, be honest about that, too. Don’t send mixed signals and, hopefully, you won’t receive any in return. When you state the type of relationship that you’re looking for, that will usually stop you from wasting time with someone that wants something completely different.

Make a list of qualities that you want in a potential partner. You’ll probably have trouble finding someone that ticks all the boxes on your list, but if you keep to the most important qualities, that should point you in a good direction. If you’re not TOO particular about what you want, you’ll find someone a lot faster.

Make some dating rules that will keep you safe. Don’t give someone your home address or let him come to pick you up on the first date. Agree to meet at the place of your date as long as this place is well lit and has plenty of people around. Take your own transportation in case you need to make a fast exit. It’s also a good idea to take along your cell phone.

Once you have connected with someone that seems promising, stay true to your dating rules. Don’t meet him until YOU’RE ready. If he isn’t patient enough to wait, he’s not worth your time.

Is it Wrong to Hook up with your Best friends Ex?

Many couples today aren’t exactly solid when they get together. In fact, more of them break up than stay together. The interesting phenomenon that seems to be forming from all of this breaking up is the pairing of best friends and their exes.

The most recent of these to be in the public eye is that of singer Shania Twain. Her very best friend was having an affair with Shania’s husband while she was still friends with Shania. When it all came out, eventually Shania ended up married to her ex-best friend’s former husband. He and Shania basically consoled each other right into a full blown relationship. Shania went through a bad time but came out on the other side a whole new woman. Incidentally, she and her former friend are no longer keeping company at all.

That’s a bit of an extreme situation even in Celebrity Land, but it’s much more common than people think that exes and best friends hook up. The question is whether or not this is the best idea. Granted, each situation is unique so obviously you can’t say that there’s a right or wrong answer to this question across the board. However, as a general rule it’s a bad idea to do hook up with your best friend’s ex.

Think of it in terms of privacy, first of all. Once your best friend has been dating and probably having sex with someone, you probably know all sorts of personal things about this person since best friends tend to talk to each other about most things. There’s a bit of an “ick factor” to that and it may, or may not bother you. But it’s still something to think about. Do you really want to be where your friend has been?

Then there are the inevitable comparisons between you and your friend that the ex can’t help but draw. You may even experience that unhappy situation when the ex calls you by your friend’s name at a very inopportune moment. Nothing is going to make THAT any better.

Another consideration is what sort of terms did your friend and the ex part on? Did they part as friends or was it an ugly battle? This is something that you have to think about seriously because if you decide to hook up with the ex, it may cause a massive rift between you and your friend. That’s when you’ll need to figure out just how much the friendship means to you. If it means that you’re going to lose a good friend if you take on the ex, will it be worth it?  That’s what you really need decide before going any further with a possible relationship.

On the other hand, if your friend tells you that it’s perfectly ok for you to form a connection with the ex, and you’re POSITIVE it really IS ok, there’s no reason for you not to go ahead with things. If you don’t, you may always have that “what if” question floating around in your head.