Is Your Online Relationship Going Anywhere?

With the introduction of home computers and the Internet, dating and relationships have gone to an entirely new dimension. For example, it’s now possible for someone living in the United States to be in a relationship with someone living in Australia. The entire relationship was begun online and is maintained online. It’s not surprising that a significant percentage have never even met in person. They talk online, by Skype, instant messenger, video cameras, through email and probably on cell phones. However, they’ve never even touched each other physically.

Believe it or not, relationships such as these are quite common these days, and new ones are being formed every day. People seem quite happy being in these relationships for the most part. It gives them something to look forward to first thing in the morning and when they get home in the evening. They set up dates on the weekend and even go so far as to prepare the same meals so that they can have dinner, lunch or breakfast together by webcam.

This is all very romantic and exciting, even, but it does beg the question of just where this type of relationship is going. Does one of you plan to fly across the world in order to meet the other one? What happens if you suddenly decide you can’t live without each other? Does it even make sense to up and quit your job and trade your life in for someone that you’ve never even kissed?

These are all questions that will need to be addressed at some point in time, unless, of course, you’ve decided to just maintain this virtual relationship and never make it anything more than it is now. Believe it or not, there ARE those couples that seem to have no plans for the future. They just live in the here and now, enjoying the company of someone over their computer.

If a relationship of this kind is truly enough for you, it may be time for you to examine the reasons for not caring if you have a relationship in the truest sense of the word. Are you inherently selfish or self-centered and don’t want to have to look after someone else? Do you like the company but also the freedom that you have by not being in a true physical relationship? Do you like the romance but aren’t so fond of sex?

You really need to address these questions before making the final decision of being in a pretend relationship where you both talk about a “someday” that will never come. When you remain in a cyber-relationship such as this, you always run the risk that your online partner will decide that he wants more and wants something he can touch. Are you ready to make the move for that to happen?

You’re the only one that can decide whether or not you’re ready for a real, mature relationship. It could be that you’ll be happier having a pretend one. You should, however, be honest with your cyber partner once you decide.

Dating Safety Tips

When you talk to older people about “the good old days,” they’ll all tell you that things have really changed over the years when it comes to safety. Teens used to date by having a milk shake at the local ice cream shop, or going to a movie and having a hamburger before or after. No one worried so much about things such as date rape, kidnapping and murder because you happened to have agreed to go out with the wrong person. The biggest worries back then were not getting caught at the local Lover’s Lane or missing curfew.

These days, there are so many things to take into consideration when dating someone new. This becomes especially serious when you factor in that there is now online dating and simply carrying over an online connection into a real world meeting can have risks. There are now very real concerns when it comes to dating. This is particularly true with online dating. You should always remember that people can be whoever or whatever they want to be on the Internet. They don’t have to be truthful. The only thing they have to do is to convince someone they’re interested in that they are who they say they are.

Therefore, one of the first things you may want to do if you’re thinking about dating someone you’ve become acquainted with online is make sure that they’re who they say they are. This can be done several ways. One of them is to have them checked out through a private investigator. This is a rather reliable way of ensuring that someone isn’t trying to pull a fast one on you but it can also be rather costly. There are also online services that help you check out someone that are maybe less reliable but are more affordable and better than not checking at all.

Another method you may employ is chatting with them by webcam. In this way, you can at least see them and be able to see what they look like. If you’re good at reading people, seeing them face to face in this way may help you tell if they’re being truthful with you about who they are. Granted, this doesn’t ensure that you’re completely safe but at least you know a little more about who you’ve been chatting with.

If you do decide to meet face to face, always meet the person somewhere. Don’t be giving out directions to your home right away. This first meeting should take place in a very active location with plenty of people around.  You may also want to consider taking a friend with you the first time so that it’s clear that someone knows where you went and who you met there.

If this meeting goes well, and you feel as if you’re comfortable setting up another date, take some more precautions and make sure that your date knows you’re doing so. They may not be thrilled with your safety tactics but they should understand. If they get unreasonable about it, you have every reason to be suspicious and cut off all contact with them.

Basically, use your common sense as well as any intuition you may have, and you should be fine.

Is He Really Who He Says He Is?

With so many couples meeting in clubs, bars and on the Internet these days, getting to know the real person you’re interested in can become a bit tricky. Most of the time, those guys you meet in bars are all cleaned up for that one night because they’re hoping to get lucky. It’s not like they ever plan to see you again after the one night stand they think they’re having with you. They can tell you anything they want and pretend it’s true.

The same thing goes for the Internet. This is even worse in many aspects because you can’t even see the person you’re talking with at first. All you have to go on is what he’s telling you about himself. Of course, there are some things that you’ll know right off make no sense. If he tells you he’s a ruler of a small, unheard of kingdom, chances are he’s lying. You’ll also find a lot of rich guys that are doubles for Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or whoever you fancy currently. When they say that, they usually don’t plan to ever meet you face to face. All they’re after is a bit of cybersex and then they’ll vanish into cyberspace.

Keep in mind that unless you’re chatting with a guy on a webcam, he could be 60 years old, 5’5”, 300 pounds, bald and married. When he tells you that he’s 6’3”, 190 pounds, 35 years old, shoulder length hair and single, that’s HIS fantasy of what he wishes he was. So, if you’re not seeing this vision in front of you via a webcam, or from across a dinner table in a restaurant, reserve your thoughts.

Now, you still can’t relax even though you may behold the most beautiful man in existence when you lay eyes on him. Yes, he may be all he said in the physical sense but you’ve still got to unearth more layers of his true personality. Even beautiful men can have some very serious character flaws. Think Kenneth Bianchi and Ted Bundy. Many women found these men to be very attractive only to be realize too late that they were about to become the latest victims of The Hillside Strangler or one of the most infamous serial killers to this day.

Before you agree to meet a new guy in person, spend lots of time chatting with him. Talk on the phone, too. Get to know him from the inside out before agreeing to meet with him face to face. Even then, don’t invite him to your home and don’t go to his for the first meeting. Make it in a very public place and take some friends along. Introduce him around to them so that he understands that people you know have his name and description. This is your safety net. Be sure to also do some checking into whether or not he’s married or in a relationship with someone. That’s easier to do than you think:  Click here to search marriage and divorce records online

Only when you’re quite sure that he’s a straight shooter and that you’re safe is when you agree to meet him. He may just turn out to be your Prince Charming.

Creating an Online Dating Profile – The Dos and Don’ts

• Do choose a photograph where you are well-dressed. It is not necessary to get dressed up and have a photo taken professionally, but one where you are wearing a faded t-shirt and a hat shaped like a beer can won’t do.

• Don’t lie to make yourself appear more impressive. If you are going to be dating someone who has read your profile, at some point they will get to know the real you. If they find that you lied in the first place, they will lose a lot of trust in you.
• Do make your personality come across as well as possible. If your sense of humor has been complimented by a lot of people, make a few self-deprecating jokes. Nothing that comes across as self-pity, and equally you should avoid coming across as arrogant. “I’m an international business tycoon – I’ve sold DVDs online to people in Japan and in Brazil” – something unfunny but cute like that works wonders.
• Don’t sound desperate or resentful if you haven’t had good luck before. A comment like “Are there any good men/women out there?” makes it sound like you are bitter. Even if your past hasn’t been glittering, good people exist. They won’t be attracted by self-pity, though.
• Do make yourself sound fun. This does not mean liberal use of exclamation marks and the word “crazy”, however you choose to spell it. Talk about things you enjoy and appear passionate. There are few things more attractive than someone who is enthusiastic and literate.

The Advantages of Internet Dating.

Online dating has come a long way since the early part of the decade, when people would often react with horror if you so much as suggested dating someone from the Internet. “They could be anybody!” was a common refrain, not to mention the impression that people had of regular Internet users – generally an unflattering one to say the least. Even couples who met over the Internet and went on to hit it off fantastically well would, more often than not come up with a cover story to avoid the mockery of others. Today, that has changed to a large extent.

Online dating site memberships have gone through the roof in recent years. Meeting someone new can be very difficult in the everyday situations we all face. Finding love in the workplace can be tricky, all the more so if an intended suitor rejects your advances, or worse still if you date for a while and then break up – always a difficult situation. Meeting someone online allows you to take things at your own pace, takes a lot of the awkwardness out of giving good or bad news, and allows you to pull the plug if someone who seemed charming turns out to be awful.

Online dating sites also allow you to hone your search for the right person. If you have a specific “type” of person that you prefer to date, you can specify that your search results include only that type of person. Maybe it removes some of the romance and the thrill of the chase, but it improves the chance of meeting the right person.