Bisexuality: Straddling the Fence

With heterosexuality being the “norm” when it comes to attraction and sexuality, second on the list would be gay and lesbian people that have bravely and confidently come out as being involved in an alternative lifestyle. There IS another group, however, that probably doesn’t get quite as much attention as the other two. That group is made up of bisexual people. These are individuals that are attracted to both men and women.

It’s a bit difficult to be a part of this group because there doesn’t seem to be any defining lines for it. If you’re heterosexual, or straight, then you’re attracted to people of the opposite sex as you. Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex as they are. Bisexuals, on the other hand, are attracted to both sexes no matter what they may be.

Oddly enough, bisexuals often have more trouble getting dates or meeting people for potential romantic relationships than either straight or gay people. One of the biggest concerns that people have with regards to dating bisexuals is the fear that a bisexual partner may leave at any time for someone of the opposite sex than their current partner. This may be true to a degree but when ANYONE is in a committed relationship, they’re not going to be looking for someone else to take up with. In other words, bisexual individuals are no more apt to leave a relationship than either a straight or gay person.

Many men find bisexual women very compelling because they have these visuals of two women  together sexually. They think that nothing could be hotter than dating a bisexual woman so they never consider the fact that these women are also normal. They don’t think about sex constantly. If they happen to meet someone of either sex that they’re attracted to, the difference is that they’re open to pursuing a relationship with that person.

If you happen to be bisexual and are trying to find someone exciting to date that will understand you, there ARE places that you can look that will land you a successful prospect or three. The internet is a great place to start. There you will find plenty of dating sites that cater to bisexual individuals. These are the sites that will allow you to pair up with someone that really understands you in a way that others never will.  One such site is QDates.com, which is a large online dating community for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people of both sexes.

If you’re into things like Speed Dating, there are events that you can attend that target bisexual people. These can be a lot of fun and you can certainly meet some interesting people this way. If you’re really successful, you’ll meet one or two people that you find delightful.

Of course, there are always bars and nightclubs that you can go to in search of some entertainment. You can choose to go to either straight clubs or gay ones, depending on your mood. That’s the true beauty of being a bisexual person. You definitely do have many more choices when it comes to the world of dating, sex, and relationships. The best thing you can do is enjoy yourself and make the most of it.

Being Gay or Lesbian and Adopting

Among the many big issues facing gay and lesbian couples today is that of adoption. Many gay couples also want to expand their families by adding a child to it. They have lots of love to share with a child and there seems to be no solid reason why they shouldn’t have the privilege of enjoying children. Years ago, adoption for gay and lesbian couples was next to impossible. However, now it has become much easier for them to bring a child into their families.

With the laws easing up on gays adopting, it isn’t as difficult now to even get an infant. It still seems to be a bit faster to adopt an older child than an infant since everyone wants a newborn. There are also other ways that gay and lesbian couples can go about obtaining a child to add to their families. Some of these routes may even be simpler and faster than going through adoption agencies.

Lesbian couples have a bit of an advantage in that they both have the necessary female reproductive organs. These couples can find a suitable sperm donor and go from there. They can also go to fertility clinics and be artificially inseminated. In this way, they can carry their own children. Sometimes the sperm donor will be a relative of the partner not carrying the baby. In that way, the baby shares blood from both families, just as it would if it were conceived between heterosexual couples.

Obviously, it’s a bit more difficult for gay men to come up with alternative methods for adding a child to their families. After all, they don’t have the “equipment” needed to conceive and carry a child. However, a route that many gay men take to get a child is through the use of a surrogate.  The surrogate is usually a good friend of the couple. Sperm can even be donated from one of the men so that there is a blood tie involved.

Gay and lesbian couples tend to make exceptional parents. It could be due to the fact that they had to work so hard to get a child or it just may be that their parental instincts are coming out. For whatever reason, children raised by gay parents are just as well adjusted as kids that come from heterosexual homes. Sometimes, they’re even more adjusted.

Once it became apparent that children weren’t going to be “damaged” by having gay parents and weren’t guaranteed to turn out gay themselves, more adoption agencies were willing to work with gay couples to help them become parents. Something else positive to come out of this is that there are even more children that will be able to have a home with parents that love them and will take care of them because, many times, gay couples are happy to get children of any age. It’s a known fact that as children get older, their chances for being adopted decrease drastically. So, gay couples offer these children much better odds for finally getting a home of their own.

Dealing with Overzealous Parents When Coming Out of the Closet

Families take the news that they have a gay or lesbian child in various ways. Some of them are horrified once their child comes out of the closet and drive this child away from home and their lives. Other families are quietly disappointed but supportive because they want their child to be happy.

Then there are the families that are not only supportive but do their very best to jump right into this new alternative lifestyle of their child. They host gatherings that allow them the chance to show just how “cool” and “open minded” they are about their child being gay. In fact, they do everything possible to help their child live a truly happy life as a lesbian or gay man.

One of the first things that these overzealous parents tend to do is try to set their child up with various other gay people in hopes of finding just the perfect partner. While this is a wonderful and very loving thought, it can become very tiring for the grown up child at the center of all of this attention. Something that these enthusiastic parents don’t seem to get is that people want to find their own partners in their own way.

Parents usually aren’t going to know exactly what type of person that their child is going to be most attracted to. Yet, that doesn’t seem to stop them. It’s like these parents are trying so very hard to show their support for their child that they’re trying TOO hard.

Now, once you’ve moved past the shock that your parents don’t hate you and aren’t horrified that you’re gay, your next issue becomes just what to do to slow them down a bit without hurting their feelings.

Obviously, you don’t want to appear ungrateful of their understanding, especially when you think about how many of your gay friends were tossed out on their ears when their families found out they were gay. Still, you need to be allowed to choose your own dates and see where they lead.

The first thing to try may be the only thing you need to do. Since your parents are trying to be so supportive of your lifestyle, all you may have to do is sit them down and talk to them. Tell them very honestly that you’re so appreciative of their love and support of your lifestyle. Be sure that you emphasize that fact. Then, as gently and lovingly as possible, explain to them that you prefer to meet your potential partners on your own.

It’s so very important that you make your explanations matter of fact and in a manner that lets your parents know just how much you love them for accepting you. Then, let them know that they can relax because you do know just how much they love you. They don’t have to keep trying to prove anything to you or to anyone else.

If you have this conversation in just the right way, your parents will most likely calm down and settle back into life as they know it. Then you can move along in your life, finding your own partner.