Dealing with Overzealous Parents When Coming Out of the Closet

Families take the news that they have a gay or lesbian child in various ways. Some of them are horrified once their child comes out of the closet and drive this child away from home and their lives. Other families are quietly disappointed but supportive because they want their child to be happy.

Then there are the families that are not only supportive but do their very best to jump right into this new alternative lifestyle of their child. They host gatherings that allow them the chance to show just how “cool” and “open minded” they are about their child being gay. In fact, they do everything possible to help their child live a truly happy life as a lesbian or gay man.

One of the first things that these overzealous parents tend to do is try to set their child up with various other gay people in hopes of finding just the perfect partner. While this is a wonderful and very loving thought, it can become very tiring for the grown up child at the center of all of this attention. Something that these enthusiastic parents don’t seem to get is that people want to find their own partners in their own way.

Parents usually aren’t going to know exactly what type of person that their child is going to be most attracted to. Yet, that doesn’t seem to stop them. It’s like these parents are trying so very hard to show their support for their child that they’re trying TOO hard.

Now, once you’ve moved past the shock that your parents don’t hate you and aren’t horrified that you’re gay, your next issue becomes just what to do to slow them down a bit without hurting their feelings.

Obviously, you don’t want to appear ungrateful of their understanding, especially when you think about how many of your gay friends were tossed out on their ears when their families found out they were gay. Still, you need to be allowed to choose your own dates and see where they lead.

The first thing to try may be the only thing you need to do. Since your parents are trying to be so supportive of your lifestyle, all you may have to do is sit them down and talk to them. Tell them very honestly that you’re so appreciative of their love and support of your lifestyle. Be sure that you emphasize that fact. Then, as gently and lovingly as possible, explain to them that you prefer to meet your potential partners on your own.

It’s so very important that you make your explanations matter of fact and in a manner that lets your parents know just how much you love them for accepting you. Then, let them know that they can relax because you do know just how much they love you. They don’t have to keep trying to prove anything to you or to anyone else.

If you have this conversation in just the right way, your parents will most likely calm down and settle back into life as they know it. Then you can move along in your life, finding your own partner.

Dating Tip For Lesbians Who Are Shy

It’s hard enough maintaining a day-to-day life as a lesbian, but when you’re trying to meet someone for a romantic relationship, it can be even more difficult when you’re also shy. Heterosexual men also have this problem when trying to meet women, but it seems to somehow be worse when you’re a lesbian. For one thing, you don’t always know whether or not another woman is gay unless you meet her under circumstances where there is no doubt. These can be such places as gay/lesbian bars, through friends, or other lesbian activities.

Being in these situations will give you an edge, but it won’t help you much if you can’t get past your shyness. Another term for this type of shyness is approach anxiety. This refers to the debilitating shyness that can take you over when you see an attractive woman that you really want to talk to but simply cannot bring yourself to approach her. This is what you must work to get past because once you do, there are so many new doors that will open themselves to you in the game of meeting new women to date.

First, you’ve got to start doing an exercise that will guide you along the way to getting to the point where you can easily approach women whether you know them or not. The first way to do this is by saying hello to strangers. Do this all the time to everyone wherever you are. Say hello whether they look at you or not and even if you don’t know if they’ll respond back. It doesn’t matter. You’re taking the lead in speaking to someone you don’t know.  It’s excellent practice.

Stop waiting for other people you know to come up to you and say hello. You make the first move and walk up to THEM. Go out of your way to do this. Don’t stop and think about whether to do it or not. Just get up and go say hello. Again, this is great practice for coming out of your shell.

Something else you can do is to linger and talk to people that you usually just say hi to. Make small talk with them for a few minutes. There have to be people in your life that you’ve known for years, and yet, you’ve never had a real conversation with. These are the people you can practice with. Start a conversation with them and participate equally in it.

Now, take all that you’ve learned through these little exercises and go to your favorite lesbian bar or club. Go in and order yourself a drink to enjoy while you visually scope out the room. This time will be different because when you spot that attractive woman you would really like to get to know better, you won’t be hiding in the corner feeling sad because you know you’ll never get the chance. This time, you’re going to go up to her, introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. This will be the beginning of the end of you going home alone.

If bars or nightclubs are not your idea of a fun time, you can always join a lesbian dating site.  Many of them are free to join and you can check out the features of the site before you decide to upgrade your membership.  AllLesbianDating.com is one such site that gives you a wide range of free features you can use as you search their vast lesbian membership base for the perfect woman for you.

Make Your Lesbian Relationship Work

Some women find that being in a lesbian relationship is one of the hardest things they’ve ever attempted. For others, it’s pretty simple and natural. In reality, if you’ve come out of the closet or are still hiding in that far back corner of it, it doesn’t matter. The basics are still the same as with a relationship between a straight couple.

A lesbian relationship still involves 2 people with 2 different personalities. Lesbians don’t just hold hands or do baking together. Just because you’re a lesbian, it won’t increase or decrease your chances of being hurt, feeling depressed or being affected by affairs.

That’s right; a lesbian relationship is a lot like a straight one. The one thing that’s different is society’s pressure on the gay community overall. Granted, straight couples don’t have to endure that unless they’re biracial. A lesbian relationship has ups and downs, just as a straight one does. These are dealt with similarly.

To begin with, it’s not easy being a lesbian. In fact, there are some countries that even ban gay relationships altogether. In the countries that are more democratic, lesbian couples are still fighting for their rights. So, if you and your partner happen to reside in a country that outlaws a public show of affection between gay couples, don’t push this particular envelope. It’s only going to hurt your feelings when you reach for your lover’s hand and she rejects it. That will cause an issue in the relationship.

Many times when your relationship is still new, it’s easy to forget that you’re not the only ones in love on the planet. You can’t get enough of each other. However, eventually that excessive fire is going to burn out a bit and you’ll feel more comfortable than excited with each other. Keep some of that spark alive or you’ll risk becoming bored in your relationship.

Don’t treat your lover as if she’s your best friend only. Treat her romantically as you would your true love. This keeps the love alive as well as the spark.

You and your girlfriend should not withdraw from society on a whole. Don’t try to make the world believe that lesbians are exclusive. Go out and meet other people of all persuasions. Socialize with straight and bisexual people as well as other lesbians. This adds a bit of newness to the relationship and will also work to keep the excitement alive between the 2 of you. Getting out and having fun together with others goes a long way to keeping the relationship fun.

Last, but not least, you and your partner should both have the freedom to be yourselves. Don’t try to change each other. There was something about her that attracted you to your girlfriend initially, and she to you. Why would you want to change any of that? You each need some space for your own personal life as well. In the end, it doesn’t matter how many more gorgeous women are in the world. You and she have committed to each other and that’s what is important.