How to Have a Successful Long Term Relationship

A lot of people go into a new dating relationship with the hope that it will become something wonderful and last long term. They may even want it to grow into a marriage where they will start their own family. If you’re someone that’s looking for a long term relationship, there are ways that you can turn this exciting new dating relationship into just that. You just have to know how to go about turning this new relationship into something deeper and more evolved.

First of all, don’t let the excitement and newness of your relationship wear off. You know how exciting everything is when you first start dating someone new. Everything sets off sparks at first: The first time your hands touch, or your first hug, and definitely that first kiss. While you’re most likely simply infatuated with each other during this time, it’s still a white-hot phase during the relationship.  You love being together all the time and you just can’t get enough of each other.

This can be so consuming that it may not be totally healthy and you certainly can’t keep the feeling going like this forever. You would both be like meteors heading toward earth and burning out on the way. However, this is the easy part of relationships. The work comes in when you want to make it last.

Although the first stage of dating is wonderful, the next level can be even better. This is when you know each other better and your connection has solidified into something that’s very meaningful. Now it’s time to see where the relationship will go. Ask each other important questions such as : Do you both want to get married? Do you both want to have kids? Can you agree on where to live? What things do you have in common? These are all the important questions that must be answered before the relationship should go any further. You certainly don’t want to wait until you’re married to find out that you don’t agree on any of those things.

When the questions have been asked and answered, it’s time to start talking about where you want things to go next. Obviously, it’s not a good idea to rush into things. Taking the time to really get to know each other is the best way to ensure that you’re on the right path. There’s a lot to be said for long engagements even when the first thing you may want to do is marry this person. If you’re meant for each other, don’t worry because you’ll still want to get married a year later.

The only thing you need to do once you have found your soul mate is to make sure that the excitement stays in the relationship. Always have time for each other no matter what else is going on in your life. It’s also a great idea to have some time together as an official couple before bringing children into the mix. They’re wonderful little bundles of joy but they can put a huge damper on the romance in your relationship. So go slow and know what the two of you want as a couple.

Really Bad Relationship Advice

I came across an article today that I felt offered some really, really terrible relationship advice:

Options For Your Mediocre Marriage:  http://www.cnn.com/2013/LIVING/06/02/marriage.with.issues/index.html?hpt=hp_bn8

For people that are stuck in a loveless marriage, it can be hell to figure out what to do about it.  The article covered some alternative arrangements people who are in such a situation could consider.

“Open” marriage was one of the alternatives.  I have never met or heard of any marriage or long-term relationship that was able to survive such a concept.  You’re either married or your not. Personally, I have always felt that this concept is a just a way for people to ease their guilt about wanting to fool around with other people.  Same thing for the marriage “sabatical” idea.

One option I can sort of understand is divorced cohabitation.  In this economy, many people’s finances are strained and they may not be able to afford a separation or divorce.  If they feel they just can’t stay married anymore but can’t separate due to financial reasons, this could be a reasonable short-term solution.  But their long-term plan should be to move out and divorce completely – there will be too much baggage to maintain a relationship of this sort long-term.

Overall, I feel that if you are not mostly content with your life in your marriage then you should make plans to get out of it and move on with your life.  Living in limbo is not good for anyone and will only hold you back from finding happiness.