Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

• Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous.
• You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too.
• Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it.
• Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter.
• You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas.
• Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

The Value of Old Fashioned Love Letters

Depending on how old you are, you just might remember what it was like getting a hand written love letter in the mail from your boyfriend, fiance or husband. Your grandparents and, possibly even your parents, will remember that feeling of the postman dropping off the mail and finding that special envelope addressed just to them. It’s really rather sad that technology has rendered the old fashioned hand written love letters extinct.

These days, with nearly every household owning a computer or at least a laptop, the need for hand written love letters is no longer necessary. You can just email your love and have it delivered instantly with a click of the mouse. For people that have never known things another way, this is pretty exciting. Teenagers and young adults may not even remember what it was like when the postal service was the only way to send and receive mail. They’re really missing out on something special, too.

Think about it for a minute. Nothing is more special than the man you love sitting down and taking the time to write out all of his thoughts and feelings in a letter to you. There’s so much excitement to open your mailbox and see that letter sitting in there waiting for you to retrieve it and open it. Once you’ve read it, you probably will read it over and over again. You can tuck it into your purse or backpack and take it with you to school or work. Throughout the day, you know it’s sitting close to you and when you take a break, it’s there for you to read once more.

Now, ask yourself, seriously, if emails get the same response. Sure, you’ll feel great when you get that email and it will bring about all sorts of warm and glowing feelings from you. However, if you want to carry it with you to read again, you’re going to have to go to the trouble of printing it out. Then, depending on who else has access to your computer, you’ll probably want to delete it so no one else will be reading these very personal words.

Something you can do to keep some of the old fashioned love in your relationship is to take the time to actually sit down and write a love letter.  Speak the words that are in your heart in the form of ink on paper. Then you can choose to either mail it or leave it in a special place to be found. These are perfect little surprises to include in a briefcase or suitcase when the one you love is going to be traveling for some reason. When he unpacks, he’ll find your thoughtful little surprise and think about you the entire time you’re apart. You can keep your letter romantic or spice it up a bit. The choice is yours.

The point of an old fashioned hand written love letter is that you took the time to sit down and write it. These can be cherished for years to come.