Is There Really Someone for Everyone?

Something that keeps many single people hopeful is the belief that there’s someone in the world for everyone.  This may or may not be true depending on the type of person you’re looking for and what you want to have with this person. So, in actuality, it’s this part that decides if there’s a match for everyone in the world that wants one. It all comes down to what you want to have with another person.

The easiest of all connections is the one night stand. Just about any decent looking person can score one of these. Usually, these happen just because a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. You get all dressed up and hit some of the more crowded and popular “meet markets.” That’s where you’ll find other people just like you that are looking for those few minutes or few hours of physical intimacy with someone else. This is pretty simple to make happen. The downside of it is that for many people it turns out to be less than fulfilling. In fact, it can actually only make that emptiness inside of you that much more lonely. For others, though, it does the trick until the next time the itch starts.

The next type of connection that may be the simplest to achieve is the person for dating and casual sex. This one is better than the one night stand but doesn’t require a commitment from either party. These are two people that like a lot of the same things and are attracted to each other sexually. While this may sound a lot like the beginning of a real relationship, it can actually be the result of a good friendship. This is all some people require to be happy.

Then, there’s the relationship where a couple are in love and live together with no intentions of getting married. These couples can be either monogamous or have an open style relationship. This type of relationship is becoming more popular in recent times for many reasons.

Then, there’s the traditional relationship where a couple is in love with each other and choose to follow the approach of actually getting married. This relationship is a lot more difficult to have than the other ones because it’s much more serious. In a marriage, two people are committing to each other and making some pretty strong promises to each other in the process. They’re promising not to be with anyone else and to stay together in good times and bad times until death parts them. This is the ultimate goal of many single people and is the hardest to attain, yet it CAN be done.

One last type of relationship, and not too common, is the trial relationship. A ceremony is conducted that binds a couple together for a certain time period, usually one year. If, at the end of that time, they want to enter into a traditional marriage, that’s what will happen. If they’ve decided it’s not what they wanted, they can part ways peacefully.

So, all in all, there just may be someone for everyone in the world. It just comes down to what you’re looking for.

Blind Dates Aren’t Always Nightmares

Blind dates have always received a bad rep for the most part. These are events that truly frighten people whether they’ve ever been on a blind date or not. That’s because, many times, they were set up by thoughtless people that didn’t even really consider how much the potential couple may actually have in common. Admittedly, these types of blind dates CAN and usually ARE complete nightmares, but it doesn’t have to always be that way.

In this current age of dating services and online dating websites, blind dates are almost the norm now. Of course, you DO have the option of getting to know the person you’re considering going on a date with prior to the date itself because of the online contact between the two of you. There’s chatting, exchange of emails, and even phone calls, if you want. By the time you actually meet for coffee or dinner, you’ve got somewhat of an idea about the person you’re meeting.

True blind dates are an entirely different matter. These happen when your best friend sets you up with her brother in law, cousin in law, guy from her husband’s office, or a variety of other choices. You’ve never laid eyes on this guy and know absolutely NOTHING about him, yet, you’ll be having dinner with him at your friend’s home. It is blind dates of this sort that can be trouble. If you haven’t been consulted at all prior to this date, it can be even worse.

However, look at it from another viewpoint. Suppose that your friend, sister, or whoever is setting you up on this blind date, has spoken at length with you about the qualities you must have in any man that you would consider having a relationship with. Suppose, also, that this person has spent time telling you all about the man that you’ll be meeting. In fact, you almost feel as if you know this man by the time the actual date comes about. Assume that the man in question has also undergone the same process regarding you. When it’s these things that have been considered before a blind date, there’s a very good chance that you and this new man will hit it off.

Another thing that is a better idea for blind dates is to double date. So when you meet this new man, you know that there won’t be any chances of those uncomfortable silences when you don’t know what to say. If you’ve got really good friends, they’ll know if the time comes that they should make themselves scarce and let the two of you get better acquainted. On the other hand, they’ll also be able to see if the entire exercise is one in futility, and they’ll know to call it a night at an appropriate time.

When there’s enough preparation beforehand, many blind dates turn out to be very successful and can even end in marriage. The thing to remember is that they must be orchestrated in just the right way to stand a chance of working out.

Things You Shouldn’t Do After You’re Married

Most women agree that being single can be a great part of life. You have the freedom to do what you want when you want without having to answer to anyone. While marriage is usually a happy and blissful state of being, there are some boundaries and rules that come along with it.

Besides the obvious one of not having sex with other people, there are some other things you shouldn’t do once you’re married that are not as obvious. Have a look at some of them:

• You can no longer get falling down drunk: This doesn’t look too hot on a single woman, but to do it when you’re married is totally inappropriate. There’s nothing classy about staggering out of a club while your two girlfriends try holding you up. Use your bachelorette party to tie on your last one.
• Pajama parties with the girls are now out: When you’re single, it’s ok to stay out as late as you want with your girl pals. You can even have pajama parties when it’s too late to go home. When you’re married, you’ve got a husband and a house to take care of. Being out late with the girls should only happen for special events now. Besides, if you like being away from home and your husband that much, something’s wrong.
• When you go out, leave the video model clothes at home: A married woman isn’t meant to appear skanky. She can be as sexy as she wants as long as it’s in a classy way.  She wants to make her husband proud, not make him her pimp.
• Dinner dates with other men should be out: Even for business reasons, this is a bit inappropriate. If you need to meet for business or your best guy friend in the world wants some quality time with you, lunch is a better option.
• No networking after 10PM: Everyone networks for professional reasons and it is fine for you to take part—up to a point. When the event turns social, it’s time for you to go home where you have a husband waiting.
• Now you need to pay bills instead of splurge on shoes: When you’re single, it is fine for you to sacrifice things so you can have something that you really want. However, when you‘re married, it’s now “we” instead of “I.”  If you don’t pay your bills, it can have a negative effect on both you and your partner.
• There’s little more that’s grosser than drinking from the carton: When you’re married, you’re most likely sharing the contents of that carton with your partner.
• Start closing the bathroom door: There’s another person living with you now so you may want to keep some things private. If you’re both THAT comfortable with going to the bathroom with the door open, there’s nothing WRONG with it. It’s just kind of un-sexy. There really are some things that need to be done secretly and this is definitely one of them.

Consider that you’re married now and there’s a certain decorum that you’ll need to follow. It doesn’t make you boring but it should make you more mature.

Commitment-Phobic Men

So many men these days tend to have serious commitment issues. These men have no issues with dating one woman for a while. They may even take over a drawer in your dresser and leave a toothbrush and razor in your bathroom. Then, one day, you decide that it may be a great idea if he just moves in with you, but when you bring it up, his response is that he feels that maybe the two of you are moving too quickly. He feels that you two need to take a break and see other people for a while.

This can mean a couple of different things. He may have already met someone else that he’s interested in dating and was just waiting for a time to tell you. However, when you brought up the moving in thing, it gave him the perfect opportunity to put the brakes on things with you and move on to the next one.

Something else it can mean is that he’s horribly commitment shy and he sees moving in together as a commitment of sorts. He probably feels that while it’s not marriage, it may be a stepping stone to that much more serious commitment. In this case, there’s nothing you could have done that was going to make this connection turn into a true relationship. You’ve hit on one of his true fears or phobias just by inviting him to move in with you.

Chances are, with either of these scenarios, you’ll most likely never hear from him or see him again. He’s going to get as far away from you as possible because you’ve made it clear in a subtle way that you expect something from him that he’s not prepared to give. He’s certainly not ready now, with you, and he may never be ready to make a serious commitment in his entire life.

There are many men that don’t ever plan on getting married and they’re happy to be lifelong bachelors. Single women would do well to steer clear of them because no matter what they may think, they’ll most likely not be playing Annette Benning to their Warren Beatty. The best thing that you can do when you first meet a man that you find fascinating is to subtly find out what his views are on marriage and commitment. If you’re the marrying type and he’s not, you’ll want to move on quickly and not invest any time or emotion into this man. He’s only going to break your heart.

On the other hand, if you’re a bit commitment phobic yourself, these are the perfect men for you to get involved with. You’ll both have lots of fun and probably amazing sex, and then you’ll move on when the novelty wears off.  Only you can decide whether you must have a solid commitment from someone or not, but hopefully, this is a decision you make before you start dating him. In that way, you can both avoid a lot of hurt and guilt feelings.

Are You the Marrying Kind?

For centuries it has been assumed that people will eventually marry and have their own families.  Years ago, it was the goal of all young women to marry and bear children. In many cultures, if girls weren’t married by the time they were 15, they were on their way to becoming spinsters.

Although, the ages of marriage have become older these days, a bit of the same beliefs have held up. Women today get married later and later in life due to the fact that they attend college and have their own important careers. It’s not unusual to see women in their 30s marry for the first time because they’ve given themselves time to get settled into their careers.

The rather unusual thing that people are seeing more and more in recent years, though, are women as well as men that never get married. For some of these people, it’s because they simply never met anyone they felt was the right person to spend the rest of their lives with. Others just didn’t want to be tied down legally to another person forever. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with this. It’s a choice.

Something that you should understand about yourself is whether or not you’re one of those people that shouldn’t be married. There are certainly ways to tell if you fit into this category, and if you find yourself in that group, it’s only fair to share this information with people you date in the event that they’re looking for a life partner.

Many people just become “set in their ways.”  This means that they have a certain routine and certain way that they like to do things and they’re not interested in changing that to accommodate someone else. You may thoroughly enjoy the company of someone special but you may also not want that person to live with you.

Are you financially independent? If so, it may bother you that you could have someone else relying on you to help them pay bills. There’s always a chance that someone you hook up with may have some financial issues that would hold you liable if you were legally attached. This is probably something else that you don’t want to get involved with.

It could be that you’re just not the caretaker type. You don’t want to be responsible for cooking for someone else or doing their laundry, and you aren’t excited about picking up after someone else. Maybe you don’t like looking after someone when they’re sick. All of these things are a part of a committed relationship, whether you’re living together or legally married.

Those are all things you need to consider seriously when figuring out if you want to be married or not. If you feel that you just don’t want all of the responsibility that goes along with committed relationships, you most likely aren’t the type of person that needs or even should be married. Don’t consider yourself deficient in any way if you feel this way. You’re not. Just be thankful that you realized it before walking down the aisle.

Sleeping Arrangements When Taking Your Boyfriend Home

When you meet a new guy and the two of you connect, it’s only a matter of time before you decide to take him home to meet your family. This can become a bit of a sticky situation if your parents are from the era where couples don’t sleep in the same bed unless they’re married and the two of you haven’t reached that particular stage in your relationship. While you may not want to be sleeping apart from your boyfriend, you’ll also want to be sure that your parents aren’t upset or outraged at you sleeping together in their home.

There are a few ways to get through this without upsetting anyone. The obvious solution is to stay in a local hotel and just spend the days and evenings with your parents. They may not approve of you sleeping together without benefit of marriage, but at least you won’t be doing it under their roof. That’s a very respectful way to handle the situation as long as you have enough money to afford a few nights in a hotel. In fact, it may even be the best idea so that you and your boyfriend aren’t under foot at your parents’ house the entire time you’re visiting them.

However, suppose your parents are the type that expects you to stay with them when you visit and they would be highly insulted if you and your boyfriend chose to stay in a hotel. Along with that, they also aren’t going to approve or allow you and your boyfriend to sleep together under their roof. Yes, there’s a lot to be said about everyone being adults, but your parents do rule the roost at their house. Of course, it’s not actually fair that you’re not only being forced to stay at your parents’ home or risk being disinherited, but on top of that, they’re refusing to let you sleep together at their house. This is a very difficult situation but if you want to keep the peace, you’ll just have to plan a shorter visit, like a weekend, and then just grin and bear it for two nights.

Then there are those parents that are more enlightened than others. These are the ones that will welcome you warmly into their home and will have only one guestroom made up for the two of you. If they know that you’re already sleeping together, they see no need to be hypocritical about things. Plus, this shows that they’re very respectful of your relationship. They take it seriously enough to treat you like the adults you are.

Whatever situation you have to deal with regarding your parents and introducing them to your boyfriend, it’s usually best to go with whatever will keep the peace. This is particularly true when there’s quite distance between where you and your boyfriend live and where your parents live. You most likely don’t see them all that often so it’s better to keep things as peaceful and happy as possible. Also, remember that if you have the enlightened parents, you’re very lucky!

How to Have a Successful Long Term Relationship

A lot of people go into a new dating relationship with the hope that it will become something wonderful and last long term. They may even want it to grow into a marriage where they will start their own family. If you’re someone that’s looking for a long term relationship, there are ways that you can turn this exciting new dating relationship into just that. You just have to know how to go about turning this new relationship into something deeper and more evolved.

First of all, don’t let the excitement and newness of your relationship wear off. You know how exciting everything is when you first start dating someone new. Everything sets off sparks at first: The first time your hands touch, or your first hug, and definitely that first kiss. While you’re most likely simply infatuated with each other during this time, it’s still a white-hot phase during the relationship.  You love being together all the time and you just can’t get enough of each other.

This can be so consuming that it may not be totally healthy and you certainly can’t keep the feeling going like this forever. You would both be like meteors heading toward earth and burning out on the way. However, this is the easy part of relationships. The work comes in when you want to make it last.

Although the first stage of dating is wonderful, the next level can be even better. This is when you know each other better and your connection has solidified into something that’s very meaningful. Now it’s time to see where the relationship will go. Ask each other important questions such as : Do you both want to get married? Do you both want to have kids? Can you agree on where to live? What things do you have in common? These are all the important questions that must be answered before the relationship should go any further. You certainly don’t want to wait until you’re married to find out that you don’t agree on any of those things.

When the questions have been asked and answered, it’s time to start talking about where you want things to go next. Obviously, it’s not a good idea to rush into things. Taking the time to really get to know each other is the best way to ensure that you’re on the right path. There’s a lot to be said for long engagements even when the first thing you may want to do is marry this person. If you’re meant for each other, don’t worry because you’ll still want to get married a year later.

The only thing you need to do once you have found your soul mate is to make sure that the excitement stays in the relationship. Always have time for each other no matter what else is going on in your life. It’s also a great idea to have some time together as an official couple before bringing children into the mix. They’re wonderful little bundles of joy but they can put a huge damper on the romance in your relationship. So go slow and know what the two of you want as a couple.

10 Ways to Hold a Budget Wedding

A wedding can be one of the most exciting events in a person’s life. It can also be one of the most expensive ones. Weddings can be very costly particularly when they are large with lots of guests. The cost can do a lot to throw cold water on the entire event. That’s why if your last name isn’t Gates or Rockefeller there are still ways to have a great wedding at a fraction of the cost.

1. Check into local resources: A website that you need to check into is called A Grand Wedding. This site gives you a list of vendors that have something for weddings for a cost of a thousand dollars. They also have a section where couples can find each other for buying, borrowing or sharing wedding items.
2. Use the talent of your friends and family: Let your friends and family help if they offer it. If they have some useable talent such as photography, baking or cooking, by all means, let them assist you.
3. Buy or borrow used decorations: The decorations for your wedding aren’t required to be brand new. You can save a lot of money with well-maintained used ones.
4. Buy a bridesmaid dress to use as your gown: Before you turn up your nose at that idea, consider bridesmaids dresses. Many of them are beautiful and would work perfectly as a wedding gown.
5. Forego traditional registration items for money: This is a great way to pay for your wedding. If you request money in lieu of actual physical gifts, you can get a lot of help in paying for things.
6. Have a limited guest list: This may be difficult but if you limit your guest list, you can save lots of money. You and your partner need to go over this together to avoid conflicts.
7. Don’t hire a caterer to do everything: Get a couple of larger dishes catered and let the guests serve themselves. Get some friends to help set up, replenish, and clean up afterwards. When you choose to do this, you can serve your own alcohol.
8. Prepare your own flower arrangements: It doesn’t take major talent to pick some beautiful flowers and put together your own flower arrangements. If you can find a flower farm, they only charge by the bucket. Used vases can be found for rock bottom prices at yard sales and estate sales. Get your wedding party to help with this.
9. Limit yourself to only the “Must Have” things rather than “Want to Have” things. Think of how many times you’ve gone to weddings that you’ve even noticed the party favors or extra table decorations.
10. Give yourself plenty of time to plan: The longer you have to plan, the more innovative you can be with your budget wedding planning. If you’re rushed, you may be tempted to spend more money.

There are some other areas that you can save some money such as making your own invitations, but these are the top 10 tips that will get you off to a great start.

Does a Committed Relationship Make You Fat?

One thing that tends to keep men from committing to women on a more permanent level is the fear that these women will gain a lot of weight as time goes on. Is this a fair, or valid, concern? The answer to this question is not so cut and dried. In fact, you would probably have to say that this is one of those questions where the answer can be both yes and no.

Whether or not a woman gains a lot of weight once she’s married, engaged or living with someone in a committed relationship depends on many factors. These include:

• If the woman has weight issues that she constantly tries to fight, it’s possible that she will pack on the pounds once she gets a ring on her finger. That’s not always the case, but for women that have had to fight lifelong battles with weight, they may be tempted to relax once they get their man. It’s a relief to them to be able to eat things they actually enjoy without needing to be on a permanent diet.
• Some women are rather vain about their appearance. These women will probably always do everything in their power to stay sexy and attractive. Even if they get pregnant, usually by the time their 6 week checkup comes around, they’ll already be back to their previous pregnancy weight.
• There are many women that have watched their weight all their lives and simply feel that they can stop doing that once they get a man.  It’s not actually something they do on purpose. It’s more that they relax into the relationship and the fact that they’re with men who love them.
• Many women have issues with weight gain following a pregnancy. They just don’t seem to be able to get that weight off so they just keep gaining it with each subsequent pregnancy.

Obviously, if a woman really cares about the man she’s with, she will do her best to make sure that he likes what he sees when he looks at her. If a woman weighs 130 pounds when she is married and 5 years later she weighs 250 pounds, she has become way too comfortable and relaxed in her marriage. There are those rare men in life that truly love their women and it doesn’t matter if they balloon up to 500 pounds. They will still love them.

So you can see how this is a yes and no question. Any woman who truly loves her man is going to do her best to look appealing for him. She also will not want him to be ashamed to be seen in public with her. A woman who lets herself go following marriage is all but opening the door for her man to find someone more appealing.

While being in a committed relationship doesn’t MAKE you fat, it can definitely lower the motivation to stay in competing shape like you would if you were still dating and trying to land someone.

Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

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