Using an Online Dating Service to Find your Perfect Relationship

There are hundreds of online dating services out there that promise they are the only ones that can find the perfect partner for you. Some use sophisticated algorithms to match compatibility by matching up answers to questions that you answer when you sign up. Others let you search through the database of eligible singles so that you can find your own match. Either way you look at it, online dating services can be quite daunting for the first time user and some might give up before even really trying to find someone.

The one thing you will have to understand about online dating services is that you can be anyone you wish to be online. There is no way for a person to tell if it is actually you that is in that picture or that you are telling the honest truth when answering those thousand-question profile questionnaires. Of course, anyone that is really serious about finding a relationship through an online dating service is going to do their best to be as honest as possible. But how many people can be that honest with themselves let alone some stranger looking at their profile on a dating site?

You need to have a mindset that you will find true love, but not right away when it comes to online dating services. In fact, it could take months before someone you are compatible with stumbles across your profile and decides to contact you.

Then, you have the people who are only looking at pictures for someone specific, the same ones that could never get by meeting them in public because their standards are set way to high. The reality is that you will have to be honest with yourself about the fact that an online dating service may not work for you.

If you keep your head in this reality instead of thinking that you are going to end up with hundreds of responses in the first couple of hours, then you might be in for a surprise when you do start getting responses. You should make sure that you make contact with these people online to begin with. Use the site’s chat system and email system until you are comfortable with the person you are talking to. Never give your personal contact information to anyone that you aren’t completely comfortable with because it could be dangerous.

If you do decide to meet this person, then you need to make sure that it is in the daytime and at a very public place. Never have them meet you at your home or place of work as that just invites trouble later on if it doesn’t work out. Be responsible and think carefully before going out with someone online for the first time. If they are serious about this relationship, then they will understand why you are being careful and will be more than happy to play along with the idea while the two of you become better acquainted with each other.

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5 Tips to Get Rid of Dating Phobia

The idea of dating can be scary, whether you are just starting out to date or are returning to the dating scene after a many years absence.

Maybe the following things cross your mind:

1.  I wouldn’t know where to start
2.  I’m too old, no one would want to go out with me
3.  I really don’t have time to deal with all the stresses and “games” of dating
4.  I’ve never been lucky dating.  I get all “tongue-tied” and don’t know what to say
5.  I’m a loner.  I’d rather stay home and read a good book
6.  Once burned, twice shy!  I don’t want to take the chance of getting dumped again

And the list goes on.  We are really good at rationalizing our reasons for not doing something we find a challenge.

Here are five tips to help you get past some of your phobias for not dating:

  1. Take some time to give SERIOUS thought to any experiences you may have had in the past that make you afraid to take the risk of dating now.  Chances are you’ll realize that the situation then is not even remotely like the situation you are living in now.  You may have been extremely young and/or the person you approached might have been tactless and naive.  You might have been more emotionally vulnerable then so the impression the “rejection” left on you might have been stronger than it warranted.  Just let go of the feelings associated with any negative dating experience, and move on.
  2. Start slow.  Go to “no risk” environments where you can interact with people in a non-threatening way. For example, attend a seminar on a topic of interest to you or that is relevant to your business.
  3. Go to the types of places that you are comfortable in and where you would meet people that have the same interests and values as you do.  Don’t hang out at bars or nightclubs if that is not the type of person you want to date.
  4. Go to night school and take a class in something that you are really passionate about. Not only will you meet men and women who have the same interests as you, you will have something to “talk” about.
  5. If you are shy or still have a problem approaching someone who you are interested in or find attractive, consider getting counseling.  A good counselor can help you get to the root of your phobia so you can move on with your life.

Like any new and worthwhile experience in life, dating can be full of uncertainties.  There is no “magic formula” for always having a positive and successful encounter, but you shouldn’t let that stop you.  Keep trying.  Remember, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”