Dealing With Your Obsession with a Man

The symptoms of obsession are pretty clear to everyone other than the women that are suffering from this disorder. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you think about him constantly?
• Do you call him several times every day?
• Do you stalk his Facebook?
• Are you depressed when you feel that he’s avoiding you?
• When your phone rings and it’s not him, do you hate the person calling?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re definitely obsessed with this guy. It also is very important that you correct this situation before it ruins your life.

The first thing you should know is that being obsessed is NOT normal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Thinking about someone constantly to the point that you’re miserable, there’s a definite problem that has nothing to do with the man but everything to do with you.

It’s toxic to be obsessed for many reasons. You’re putting your entire life on hold when you’re obsessed. This has a huge negative impact on your life overall that you can’t see.

Feeling obsessed over someone usually starts when you know you can’t have this guy. It’s your mind that cannot accept that he’s never going to feel the same way for you that you do for him. This makes you feel bad. To get rid of this feeling, you start doing things that you believe will change the situation. Calling him constantly, stalking him, and spying on him will not do anything except push him even further away.

You should know that it’s not going to be easy to get past these awful feelings. It is hard work and you’re going to have to do it. The reason it’s hard is because you MUST stop doing all of these things because they’re just going to hurt you. Once these feelings start to fade, you’ll feel much better.

When you find yourself leaning towards doing some of those obsessive actions, try making a list of your thoughts. Put on your list things like:

• If I feel like stalking his Facebook, should I?
• How will I feel if I do it?
• If the answer is negative, ask yourself what else you can be doing right now to help yourself?

Then list some possible things that you can be doing like:

• Go for a walk
• Spend time on a hobby
• Work out
• Call a friend
• Play catch up with work
• Walk your dog
• Cook

You put down these ideas or anything else you can think of. Once the list is finished, you’ll have plenty to do to keep you occupied. Do this every time you’re tempted to act out obsessed behaviors.  If you do this for several days in a row, you should have more control of your obsession.

Keep in mind that you’ll still have obsessive thoughts during this time. This will be when you’ll need to decide what you really want to do: Feel better or give into the obsessive behavior that will only make you feel worse.  The only way out of your situation is to choose a positive path.

Is it Love, Lust or a Nervous Breakdown?

David Coverdale of the band Whitesnake sang “Is this love that I’m feeling?” many years ago, and this truly does seem to be the age old question that still doesn’t have a clear cut answer to it. You experience so many of the same emotions when you’re first falling in love as you do when you simply are lusting for someone. It can be next to impossible to determine which you’re feeling until you go ahead and give into your lust only to find out that it burns itself out in a short time.

Actually, in the beginning, you’re most likely not going to know whether you’re falling in love or not.  Both love and lust bring about such reactions as:

• Severe butterflies in the stomach
• Not being able to eat
• Not being able to sleep
• Thinking of nothing else but this new person
• Talking of nothing else but this new person and driving your friends away with your constant chatter on the subject
• Leaping to answer the phone whenever it rings only to hate the person on the other end when it’s not the object of your affection
• Becoming panicked when you don’t hear from your obsession for a full day
• Facebook stalking
• In person stalking
• Finding even the most appalling habit this person has to be cute and endearing

There are more signs, but you get the idea. These are all symptoms of new love, infatuation, lust, or that you’re possibly losing your mind. When you think about it, some of these could very well be signs of a mental illness.

The issue will be trying to figure out just what’s happening to you and whether you should try to get a new relationship off the ground, have sex a few times and then leave, or see your doctor. There are a few helpful hints that might aid you in deciding whether you’re in love or just want to have sex with this person. Then you can make the decision.

First of all, give it a little time to see if your obsession calms down and morphs into something a bit saner. If it does, and you still have favorable feelings and an attraction to this person, chances are you’re on the road to a possible long term relationship. In fact, giving the situation enough time is truly the only way to tell if you’ve found a great person that you’re in love with, or whether you simply were scratching an itch.

A big thing to watch for is if those terrible habits that were so cute before have now begun to appall you, embarrass you and simply irritate you. If this is the case, you probably don’t love this person after all. The biggest sign, however, that you’re ready to move on is when the thought of sex with your former obsession makes you nauseous. When that happens, it’s time to close this particular door and walk away.