To Rekindle an Old Flame or Not

Some of the hottest and most passionate relationships usually take place between couples of teenage years. Nothing is more lustful than two teenagers in love. It also hurts the most when it ends. Many times, if the ending happens for reasons other than the couple is just tired of each other and ready to move on, the love becomes unrequited. Even though these two individuals may move forward in life and even go on to marry other people, they never forget their first love. This love is something that may never leave them no matter how far they travel.

That’s why it’s very tempting to rekindle an old flame if the opportunity presents itself. You’ve probably heard many tales of how couples that have been separated for years suddenly find themselves back together and realize they still have the same feelings for each other as they did when they were a couple the first time around. Those are very possible and very heartwarming stories. However, it doesn’t always turn out that way. Many times, it’s just the fervent wish to revisit a time in life where the feelings were exciting and the couple was beautiful.

There has to be a better way to tell if you should rekindle an old flame or not, and there IS. First of all, put away your feelings from long ago. Then be very honest about how your NEW feelings are at seeing your old love from so long ago. This step is true whether it’s been 3 years or 30.  You can’t allow those past feelings to completely rule decisions you make in the present. So Rule Number One is to deal with your feelings in the present and don’t be overly influenced by the past.

Now that you understand Rule Number One, it’s going to be confusing to learn what Rule Number Two is because that rule tells you to remember the moments of your past relationship with your old flame. Some of those moments can be very important, particularly if these are warnings of why you shouldn’t become involved with him again. Were you mistreated by this old flame in the past? Did he cheat on you? Did he abuse you in some way? If that’s the case, it’s very important to recall those moments because chances are slim that he’s changed much over the years in that regard.

Once you get past Rule Number One and Rule Number Two satisfactorily, you move into Rule Number Three. That one has you paying close attention to how you feel when you come face to face with your old flame. Is that spark truly still there for both of you? If so, and the conditions are right, then you should definitely test the waters a bit and see how they feel. That doesn’t mean that you should hop into bed with him immediately. It means that you should be open to exploring whether or not things can actually go somewhere this time around. It may be the best decision you ever made.

Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

• Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous.
• You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too.
• Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it.
• Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter.
• You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas.
• Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

Choose Your Battles

All couples have disagreements from time to time. Many people consider arguing sometimes to be healthy for relationships. Of course, if you argue constantly that may be a sign of some different issues. However, getting back to the positive side of fighting, there are some benefits to doing some verbal slugging it out on occasion.

First of all, when couples argue, there’s a release of any tension build up. Sometimes, when you’re with someone a lot, there are things that can get on your nerves about each other. These things build when they’re not addressed and resolved. So, there may be some little thing that causes the blow up but the fight is actually about other things that have been allowed to fester for too long. Once the air is cleared, the fight is over and the tension is gone, or at least clearly reduced.

Having a difference of opinion is a good way to show that you’re not completely alike. There’s a lot to be said about having enough things in common, but nothing is more boring than being exactly alike. The things that you disagree over can be debated in a mature manner, or should be. But if yelling and throwing things is more the way you and your partner like to handle issues, go for it. Just try not to disturb the neighbors.

Something else you also need to understand about arguing is that you cannot always win. There’s no way to do that and hold onto a successful relationship. You need to be aware that you’re not always going to be right 100 percent of the time and your partner isn’t going to be, either. That’s why it’s important to choose your battles. Some things are just more important than others. When you’re positive that you’re right about something; that’s the thing to fight for. Of course, you should also be prepared for your partner to be equally adamant that he’s right about the same issue.

Another thing that turns out to be pretty nice about having a fight with your partner is that once it’s over, you get to make up. There’s just something about make up sex that’s unlike any other kind of sex you’ll ever have. It has an intensity to it that only anger and repentance can bring out. You almost feel as if you came very close to losing one another and then you were snatched back from the jaws of death regarding your relationship. The love and passion you feel for each other at the moment you make up is stronger than even the first time you were ever together physically. That’s a delicious feeling to hold onto.

Again, remember to choose your battles. Yes, the makeup sex if amazing and the end of a fight can mark the beginning of your love all over again. However, don’t fight over stupid things. Make your battles count and make them bring about a lasting joy and compromise into your relationship. Things will be so much better if you can do that.

Tips for Keeping the Relationship Spark Alive

Everyone knows how challenging that marriage and relationships in general can be. That’s why all couples can use a little help from time to time on how to keep things passionate, alive and new. There are some ways to do this that make it a bit easier. Have a look at these tips and suggestions to see what works best for you:

• Don’t let the newness go out of your relationship: The longer that couples are together, the more they tend to forget that they are a couple first and spouses, significant others, and parents second. You must put forth some effort to keep things feeling new. Don’t ever forget that a relationship grows into a friendship of sorts. That’s why you should start out as friends, stay friends, and become and stay lovers.
• Understand that you can’t change your significant other: Too many times, people go into a relationship thinking they can change the other person into what THEY want them to be. Anyone that starts out a relationship that way is doomed to fail. Each individual must WANT to grow and change on their own. All you can control is how YOU act or react to any issues that come up.
• Make yourself someone they can respect and love in the long term: Way too often, when the courtship part of a relationship ends, men will stop putting as much effort into making themselves attractive to their women. That’s bad but, even worse, is that women let this happen. This can be fixed by men continuing to put forth effort into the relationship and women not allowing the men to only half-assed try.
• Your strength, self-esteem and individuality need to stay up front and center at all times: Two people make up a relationship. These people each have their own needs and desires that exist within and without the relationship. It’s vital that they keep their own desires and interests at the forefront of their minds. Compromise in a relationship is good but only if you’re not compromising the person you are and what you really want in your life.
• Never just settle for anything: If your partner refuses to grow along with you or address the needs that both of you have, never just settle for what you have. Life is too short to lead a bland existence. Your partner should be someone that cherishes you and enjoys you rather than feeling you’re a duty or obligation.
• Keep the sex great and inventive: Sex isn’t just a physical form of release. It’s also a true closeness; the ideal sharing of passion with each other. These sexual encounters can be as romantic, as passionate or as kinky as each couple prefers. However, it IS critical that these interactions take place on a regular basis. It allows you to both be open, trusting and vulnerable in a way that’s important to having a healthy sex life.

The important thing to remember is to never let passion slip away. Passion is both in and out of the bedroom.