Past Relationships: Never Regret Anything that Once Made You Smile

When relationships end, many times there are a lot of regrets involved. People spend way too much time feeling sorry for being with someone that, ultimately, disappointed them. They regret all of the “wasted” time spent with someone that wasn’t going to be their “happily ever after” partner.

You’ve probably done this at least once, yourself. Others may have it happen to them ALL the time.   There are so many reasons that you should never waste your time and energy on regrets.

While it may be common to focus on the negative parts of a relationship following a breakup, at some point, you need to recall the good times that happened, too. There HAD to be SOMETHING in the relationship that was good and made you happy at the time. Even those who have had completely dysfunctional relationships can usually come up with at least a handful of instances where things in their relationships approached normalcy and made them smile.

So, even if your relationship didn’t work out quite like you had hoped it would or had planned for it to, there were moments in it that did bring a smile to your face and laughter into your life.

There were most likely instances where your partner surprised you with either small gifts or expensive ones for no other reason than that they loved you. They may have also planned little getaways as a surprise. It may be something as simple as bringing coffee, tea or a full breakfast to you in bed when you wake up.

No relationship is without some moments that warmed your heart and made you feel good. If the relationship was so terrible that it NEVER had any moments like that at all in it, you’re much better to be out of it. In fact, you may want to seek therapy to find out why you would even consider being in a relationship that never once made you happy.

However, getting back to the regrets; there’s nothing to feel bad about if you thought that you were with someone that truly loved you and was being honest with you. If it turned out that this person was a liar and a cheater or whatever else, that has nothing to do with you and your intentions within the relationship. You were in it for all the right reasons and that’s all you have to answer for. What someone else did or did not do is not in your control.

Therefore, when you look back on past relationships, search for the moments that brought some happiness to you. While you certainly shouldn’t dwell on the past, it’s perfectly ok to hold those moments of joy close to your heart and remember why you were ever in that relationship. Just never allow yourself to regret anything that once made you smile because that wasn’t a bad moment. It was sweet and it was good, and is something to be recalled with a smile in the present.

My Last Girlfriend Was a Lunatic!

How many times have you heard this from guys that you’re newly dating? You know the drill: You meet this really great looking guy that seems to have everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. There are a few dates where you spend time getting to know each other. Eventually, when discussing past relationships, he utters those dreaded words: “My last girlfriend was a lunatic!” Immediately, you go on the alert. The next few minutes just might make or break this budding new relationship.

The first thing you want to do is encourage him to talk. Tell him that you want to hear all about how things went with his last girlfriend and why she was so insane. Now, a man who is actually telling you truth will most likely not be so eager to give you details. In fact, he may try to change the subject so that the conversation now focuses on you.

If you’re feeling little alarm bells going off, though, you need to re-direct the focus back to him and the crazy ex-girlfriend. Ask him questions that he must either answer or say he doesn’t want to talk about the relationship. You can remind him that he really can’t just throw something like that out there and expect you not to want to know more.

Listen to his story and see how you feel about what he’s saying. If the ex was a stalker type, or tended to destroy his things when he walked away, you can offer your sympathy, and move on. He just may be telling you the truth. A good sign that he isn’t exaggerating is if he has some positive things to say about some of his ex-girlfriends with only one psycho in the group.

On the other hand, if every one of his ex-girlfriends were insane, or they cheated on him, or didn’t want to let him go to the point of  acting in the extreme, there may be something else going on here that you don’t want to be a part of. When you meet a guy where EVERY SINGLE ONE of his ex-girlfriends was psychotic or slutty in some way, the problem may not be the ex-girlfriends. The problem may lie within the man.

Ok, so SOME men can have all the bad luck in the world when it comes to women. However, the odds are greater that it’s not always the women.

If there seems to be a pattern in the women that this guy chooses, there can be several reasons for it:

1.  He may actually be a great guy that just cannot read women well.

2.  He may be a magnet for damaged women.

3.  He may just be addicted to the drama that comes along with mentally unstable girlfriends.

Whatever the reason, if this guy seems to have only horrible ex-girlfriends in his past, you may want to cut your losses while you can. Otherwise, you’ll be added to the list of insane girlfriends the next time this guy shares his unhappy past to a new woman.