Dealing with Overzealous Parents When Coming Out of the Closet

Families take the news that they have a gay or lesbian child in various ways. Some of them are horrified once their child comes out of the closet and drive this child away from home and their lives. Other families are quietly disappointed but supportive because they want their child to be happy.

Then there are the families that are not only supportive but do their very best to jump right into this new alternative lifestyle of their child. They host gatherings that allow them the chance to show just how “cool” and “open minded” they are about their child being gay. In fact, they do everything possible to help their child live a truly happy life as a lesbian or gay man.

One of the first things that these overzealous parents tend to do is try to set their child up with various other gay people in hopes of finding just the perfect partner. While this is a wonderful and very loving thought, it can become very tiring for the grown up child at the center of all of this attention. Something that these enthusiastic parents don’t seem to get is that people want to find their own partners in their own way.

Parents usually aren’t going to know exactly what type of person that their child is going to be most attracted to. Yet, that doesn’t seem to stop them. It’s like these parents are trying so very hard to show their support for their child that they’re trying TOO hard.

Now, once you’ve moved past the shock that your parents don’t hate you and aren’t horrified that you’re gay, your next issue becomes just what to do to slow them down a bit without hurting their feelings.

Obviously, you don’t want to appear ungrateful of their understanding, especially when you think about how many of your gay friends were tossed out on their ears when their families found out they were gay. Still, you need to be allowed to choose your own dates and see where they lead.

The first thing to try may be the only thing you need to do. Since your parents are trying to be so supportive of your lifestyle, all you may have to do is sit them down and talk to them. Tell them very honestly that you’re so appreciative of their love and support of your lifestyle. Be sure that you emphasize that fact. Then, as gently and lovingly as possible, explain to them that you prefer to meet your potential partners on your own.

It’s so very important that you make your explanations matter of fact and in a manner that lets your parents know just how much you love them for accepting you. Then, let them know that they can relax because you do know just how much they love you. They don’t have to keep trying to prove anything to you or to anyone else.

If you have this conversation in just the right way, your parents will most likely calm down and settle back into life as they know it. Then you can move along in your life, finding your own partner.

Sometimes You Have to Relocate to Find Your True Love

Being gay or lesbian still has a bit of a stigma when you live in certain parts of the country. Small towns are particularly difficult in most locations. In cities and towns that still carry many prejudices, there aren’t a lot of avenues for gay people to connect and form any bonds or relationships with each other. In many cases, when there ARE plenty of gay people in the local population, there are still certain ones that just cannot seem to find that right person for them. This is a very difficult dilemma to be in.

Sometimes the only solution to this problem is to find a new location to move to. It doesn’t have to be very far away from your family and friends. The new place also doesn’t have to be in a big city.  The best thing to do is to settle on a part of the country that you want to live in and then do some research about the gay population and policies in that area. If you find that there’s a decent acceptance of the gay lifestyle, and that there are many groups there that you have something in common with, it may be just the place for you to move to.

Another way to go about deciding on the best place to move is to talk to other friends that live in areas where gay and lesbian people are made to feel comfortable and a part of the community.  If you don’t already know anyone in the particular city you’re thinking of moving to, you can easily meet new people or make new friends via online gay and lesbian dating sites such as AllGayDating.com or AllLesbianDating.com.  These are the best people to fill you in on what you can expect in different areas. When you find the ideal place to move, it’s time to send out some searches for homes to rent or buy and set up everything so that you can go start your new life.

The point in moving is that many times it does take a change of scenery in order to be appreciated. Most of the time, you’ll find that you’re quite popular because you ARE the new person in town. Everyone will want to get to know you and a lot of those people will want to date you. It’s perfectly understandable how this can happen. Once people travel in the same circles over and over again, they get bored with seeing the same people all the time. They need to have new people in their midst so that they can form new connections and have more chances to become romantically involved.

When you move to a new location, seek out people that you have something  in common with and that you feel drawn to. These are the ones that you’ll find that are easier to form relationships with. Once you allow yourself to get to know the people in your new home, it won’t be long before you’ve found the perfect partner for yourself.  Don’t miss out on the chance for a very happy relationship just because you don’t want to move from a certain place. Sometimes that’s just what it takes to find the person you’re meant to be with.

Using an Online Dating Service to Find your Perfect Relationship

There are hundreds of online dating services out there that promise they are the only ones that can find the perfect partner for you. Some use sophisticated algorithms to match compatibility by matching up answers to questions that you answer when you sign up. Others let you search through the database of eligible singles so that you can find your own match. Either way you look at it, online dating services can be quite daunting for the first time user and some might give up before even really trying to find someone.

The one thing you will have to understand about online dating services is that you can be anyone you wish to be online. There is no way for a person to tell if it is actually you that is in that picture or that you are telling the honest truth when answering those thousand-question profile questionnaires. Of course, anyone that is really serious about finding a relationship through an online dating service is going to do their best to be as honest as possible. But how many people can be that honest with themselves let alone some stranger looking at their profile on a dating site?

You need to have a mindset that you will find true love, but not right away when it comes to online dating services. In fact, it could take months before someone you are compatible with stumbles across your profile and decides to contact you.

Then, you have the people who are only looking at pictures for someone specific, the same ones that could never get by meeting them in public because their standards are set way to high. The reality is that you will have to be honest with yourself about the fact that an online dating service may not work for you.

If you keep your head in this reality instead of thinking that you are going to end up with hundreds of responses in the first couple of hours, then you might be in for a surprise when you do start getting responses. You should make sure that you make contact with these people online to begin with. Use the site’s chat system and email system until you are comfortable with the person you are talking to. Never give your personal contact information to anyone that you aren’t completely comfortable with because it could be dangerous.

If you do decide to meet this person, then you need to make sure that it is in the daytime and at a very public place. Never have them meet you at your home or place of work as that just invites trouble later on if it doesn’t work out. Be responsible and think carefully before going out with someone online for the first time. If they are serious about this relationship, then they will understand why you are being careful and will be more than happy to play along with the idea while the two of you become better acquainted with each other.

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