Opposites Really DO Attract

Several years, singer/dancer/choreographer and American Idol judge, Paula Abdul had a little hit song called “Opposites Attract.”  The whimsical video that was filmed for the song showed Paula as being in love with a cartoon animal, thus the theme of opposites being attracted to each other. It was all very cute and the song was very popular. However, there was a much deeper meaning rooted in this song and it carried a very real truth.

This truth is that people with opposite personality types can, and do, attract each other all the time. Not only that, but these relationships seem to be some of the most successful ones on record. What does this say about the theory that all couples should have many things in common?  Actually, it doesn’t  say anything at all about that. Rather, this shows that people of different personality types can complement each other by tempering the more radical parts of their partner’s personality as well as livening up the more sedate and even boring portions. That’s when it works the best.

Obviously, commonality is a huge factor when it comes to making a relationship work out successfully. When people have some things in common, they’ll always have something to talk about and do together. It gives them a chance to bond over something and that connection will always be there. However, there’s also the matter of a couple having TOO much in common with each other. That’s when opposites can make for a much livelier and more interesting relationship.

Couples with opposite personalities can many times enjoy much more active relationships with each other than if they had a lot of things in common. Sometimes it takes just the right amount of commonality and differences to make a relationship all it should be.

However, there can be some couples that really are so opposite that it’s amazing that they ever got together in the first place. Yet, you can tell just how happy they are in the way they look at and interact each other. They’re clearly perfect with each other.

That’s why you should never discount someone just because they don’t think exactly the way you do. They may actually provide the fodder for lively debates between you. Words can be some of the strongest and most effective foreplay that you’ll find anywhere, and when you’re forced into using them, you may find that this person who is nothing like you is one of the most exciting people you’ve ever met in your life. Let that feeling take hold and use the mental stimulation you get from arguing your point of view.

That can be just the beginning for you and your new friend. When you allow yourself to think outside of the box and let this new person into your life, it may be one of the most amazing events you’ve ever experienced. Enjoy your encounter with this opposite personality and see where it takes you. It’s very possible that this is the person meant to take you down the path you’ve always wanted to travel.

When the Differences are Too Many for a Successful Relationship

Commonality is something that all relationships need a bit of in order to work out and be long term. This is always a better thing when each of you likes a lot of the same things. That list would include things like the same types of music, movies, the same activities, and agreeing on religion.

Lots of couples tend to have little in common on the surface, yet they get along famously and maintain great relationships. Most likely, these couples have learned how to balance the differences in their personalities and have actively searched for common interests to home in on so that they will have some things that they can do together. It can be done in many cases, but for others, the differences can be just too much for sustain a relationship.

In the very beginning, when you’ve just met someone and are getting to know them, it’s time to find out what this person’s interests are. This is when you need to ask questions that are pertinent to you and your lifestyle. The answers that you get will give you the springboard you need to decide if this is a potential relationship that you want to pursue.

There are many things that you can get past when it comes to having differences in likes and dislikes. However, there are other things that need to be looked at closely before moving ahead. For example, if one of you is a devout fundamentalist Christian and you’re a practicing Pagan, chances are you wouldn’t ever meet up in the same places anyway. On the other hand, if you’re a Catholic and he’s of the Jewish faith, many couples have made this particular situation work. It only becomes a bit complicated if the couple decides to have children but the solution reached is usually a fair one for everyone.

Differences in such things as music and movies don’t have to be a deal breaker, either. This is where compromise comes into play. You agree to go to a wrestling match if your partner will attend the ballet or opera with you. In time, such things may actually grow on you a bit.

The point is that couples can still be individuals even when they are in a relationship with each other. It can even become more interesting when there are plenty of differences. It helps each partner be more involved in learning new things.

For example, if one of you is really into camping and the other one’s idea of camping is a night spent at the Motel 6, if you start out easy, you may find that camping can bring you lots of pleasure. Of course, then your partner must agree to that night or weekend in a high end hotel or a romantic bed and breakfast of your choosing.

It’s really all about compromising. However, if you love curling up by the fire on a rainy day with a good bestseller and your partner’s idea of reading is guffawing through a comic book, you may want to look closely at what life will be like with this person.

Are You Being Played by a Player?

The word “player” doesn’t mean anything positive when it comes to dating and relationships. A lot of guys LIKE the term and are quite flattered to be called that. It’s too bad that they are not mature enough to understand that it’s really NOT a compliment.

A player is, in essence, someone that manipulates, or “plays,” someone else to get what they want from the experience. Guys that wear this label typically hit on lovely women with the intent of getting them into bed at some point during their interaction, be it a night or a month. They win these women over through the sheer force of their personalities or by knowing exactly the right things to say and do.

Among the many negative qualities of a player is the way he reels in his women. He makes the woman of his current interest feel that she is the most beautiful and desirable woman on the face of the planet. Then he continues to build her up and make her the focus of his unwavering attention for however long he wants her around.

Once he’s received everything he wants from the experience, things start to change. This can happen drastically and all at once, or it can start to be noticed a little over time. Either way, the woman is on her way out when this change starts.

Women should do all they can to protect themselves from this type of predator, and make no mistake about it; a predator is exactly what a player is. He may not be physically harming anyone, but he’s certainly making short work of a woman’s self-esteem, not to mention the heartache he injects into her life. A player sucks all the good things that a woman feels about herself right out of her and leaves her feeling like a shell of her former self.

How do you protect yourself from this particular animal? First of all, use your intuition from the very beginning. You know that little feeling that tells you this guy is just TOO GOOD to be true? That’s what you’re going to pay attention to. If he seems to know all the right things to say to you and he is smothering you with all sorts of attention, back up a bit. See if you can find anyone in the vicinity that knows him. If he’s a player, other people will know him because you will have inadvertently stumbled into his territory. Pay close attention to what you find out.

There are some things to watch for, too. If this guy is gorgeous and confident, but other women are avoiding him, there’s a reason for that. You’re probably just a new pastry for him to try out. Supposing that you do get hooked up with him innocently enough, you’ll start to get an idea that he’s a player when his interest starts to cool. If it happens to you, don’t feel bad. Nearly, every woman alive has gone through at least one player in her life. It’s a case of live and learn.

Personality Plus: Beauty is Only Skin Deep

Just about everyone is familiar with the old joke about a guy telling his friend that his girlfriend wants to set him up with a friend of hers. The friend asks what the friend of the girlfriend looks like. The guy’s friend says “She’s got a GREAT personality.” His friend looks at him and says “So she’s a dog, huh?” While that’s a very rude and disrespectful joke, it seems to have become the basis that all blind dates are founded upon. So what does that say about someone with a great personality?

There are much fewer physically beautiful people in the world than there are normal, or ordinary, people. That lessens the odds that you’ll actually hook up with one of these physically perfect individuals. However, there are many attractive people in the world that you have a good chance of meeting and having a relationship. A good number of THOSE people are going to have engaging personalities that enhance their physical appearance even more.

Nearly everyone has known a few people at some point in their lives that are plain, and some that are even vastly unattractive. However, they have such amazing energy and personalities that they appear to be much more attractive than they actually are. These people are in high demand by others. People want to be around them, date them, and be involved with them, in any way that will allow them to be in the sphere of these lovely individuals. What is it that makes these people so popular and sought after?

Surprisingly enough, it’s their personalities.

The kind of person that someone IS nearly always means more in the end than what someone LOOKS like. It’s true that beauty really is only skin deep in many cases. Beautiful people don’t always have beautiful personalities. This is something that becomes evident very early upon meeting these people. Vanity isn’t an attractive quality and neither is snobbery.

A lot of beautiful people tend to believe that they should only be around OTHER physically beautiful people. These individuals are actually doing the rest of the world of normal people a huge favor by believing that. This avoids a lot of hurt feelings and insults among those people that are considered ordinary.

Something that is very important in a person is having a great personality. In fact, it’s difficult to fathom how you can truly love someone that’s devoid of humanity, no matter how beautiful they appear on the outside. If these people are ugly on the inside, they’re hideous on the outside. Physical perfection does little to fully hide a horrible personality once you get to know the person.

This is something you really should think about the next time someone tries to set you up on a date with a person with a good personality. No, that person may not be winning any beauty contests, but if they’re good hearted, funny, and smart, you shouldn’t write them off simply because they’re not physically perfect. You may find yourself in love before you know it.