To Rekindle an Old Flame or Not

Some of the hottest and most passionate relationships usually take place between couples of teenage years. Nothing is more lustful than two teenagers in love. It also hurts the most when it ends. Many times, if the ending happens for reasons other than the couple is just tired of each other and ready to move on, the love becomes unrequited. Even though these two individuals may move forward in life and even go on to marry other people, they never forget their first love. This love is something that may never leave them no matter how far they travel.

That’s why it’s very tempting to rekindle an old flame if the opportunity presents itself. You’ve probably heard many tales of how couples that have been separated for years suddenly find themselves back together and realize they still have the same feelings for each other as they did when they were a couple the first time around. Those are very possible and very heartwarming stories. However, it doesn’t always turn out that way. Many times, it’s just the fervent wish to revisit a time in life where the feelings were exciting and the couple was beautiful.

There has to be a better way to tell if you should rekindle an old flame or not, and there IS. First of all, put away your feelings from long ago. Then be very honest about how your NEW feelings are at seeing your old love from so long ago. This step is true whether it’s been 3 years or 30.  You can’t allow those past feelings to completely rule decisions you make in the present. So Rule Number One is to deal with your feelings in the present and don’t be overly influenced by the past.

Now that you understand Rule Number One, it’s going to be confusing to learn what Rule Number Two is because that rule tells you to remember the moments of your past relationship with your old flame. Some of those moments can be very important, particularly if these are warnings of why you shouldn’t become involved with him again. Were you mistreated by this old flame in the past? Did he cheat on you? Did he abuse you in some way? If that’s the case, it’s very important to recall those moments because chances are slim that he’s changed much over the years in that regard.

Once you get past Rule Number One and Rule Number Two satisfactorily, you move into Rule Number Three. That one has you paying close attention to how you feel when you come face to face with your old flame. Is that spark truly still there for both of you? If so, and the conditions are right, then you should definitely test the waters a bit and see how they feel. That doesn’t mean that you should hop into bed with him immediately. It means that you should be open to exploring whether or not things can actually go somewhere this time around. It may be the best decision you ever made.

The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone

Typically, you can tell when you’re in a relationship that’s really going nowhere, and you can feel when you’re ready to end that relationship. While it’s always good to know where you stand, it’s also wise to realize when the time of the break up is not right. Obviously, breaking up is never going to be easy, but you can make it even worse by choosing the wrong time to end a relationship.

For instance, birthdays are TERRIBLE times to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE his birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose the day before, of, or the day after his birthday to break up, it will always leave a bad feeling with him. Every birthday is going to remind him that his relationship ended at that time. So, if you can manage it, time the break up so that it’s a decent amount of time on either side of his birthday and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.

Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining it for him for a very long time, if not forever. That’s why knowing when you’re ready to leave a relationship is a good thing as you can time the break up for a day that doesn’t mean anything to either of you.

Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that this particular holiday may never be enjoyable again if the break up is pretty bad.  Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money because you most likely won’t be buying gifts for each other. In addition, the holidays just turn into very sad occasions when a relationship ends during them. This is true of the days immediately before and after them.

The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow him well into the future. You should be kind about the timing of your break up.

The exception to this rule is if your about to be ex is cheating on you and you just found out, or he’s done something even more horrendous. In cases such as those, he DESERVES to be miserable for future special days.

Should Co-Workers Date?

Working closely together five days a week can definitely cause some enviable heat to ignite between certain co-workers. Sometimes it’s a true chemistry that causes two people to be attracted to each other. It can also be due to loneliness at home, which can actually happen whether the person is single or married. In fact, many times marital problems are the root cause of office romances and affairs. Then, there are times when two people are drawn to each other and just happen to work at the same place.

To start with, the subject of affairs needs to be addressed because these are always very bad ideas, particularly between two married co-workers. Even worse is the idea of an affair between boss and staff member. These NEVER end well, and when they do, as they WILL, there will be at least one person out of a job. On occasion, both boss and staff member can be joining the ranks of the unemployed. If you’re that staff member and are flattered by the attentions of your boss, please keep things on a professional level, for your own good.

Married co-workers should never engage in anything romantic. They can be friends and enjoy each other’s company, but they should never take that fatal step of going over the line and falling into bed together. When the spouses find out, and never doubt that they will, things will begin to crumble for both of the people that were unfaithful. Actually, there are at least four people in that scenario that can be hurt.

Then, there are those couples that simply feel drawn to each other and probably would be attracted to each other no matter how they met. This connection isn’t necessarily a bad one, but it can be a tricky one. That’s because these couples may be in a budding relationship that shouldn’t be tested by the dangers of being together TOO much. What happens when the two of you have an argument? Something like that can easily have a huge effect on the quality of work that the two of you deliver at work while the argument lasts.

Something else to think about is the amount of time you’ll be spending with each other. If you just work for the same company, chances are good that you will be working in separate offices and will only see each other during breaks and at lunch. An arrangement like that doesn’t put as much stress on a relationship as working in the same office a desk or two apart from each other. Just working in the same building can actually enhance a romantic relationship. You can always meet at lunch for a sandwich and a quickie to really spice things up.

On the other hand, if you do work in the same office, it may be beneficial to the relationship for one of you to try to transfer to another office or department in the company. Some couples make a professional and personal relationship work out nicely. If you follow some common sense ground rules, it may work out that way for you, too.

Beautiful and Alone

Many times you may remember seeing absolutely gorgeous women sitting alone in a bar. You may have known physically flawless women that rarely had a date on the weekends. While it may not make sense, it’s definitely true that many beautiful women spend a large portion of their lives alone. Once you dig into this phenomena a bit, though, you’ll start to see why it happens more than people think.

For one thing, and this is very common, lots of men are intimidated by women that are just incredibly stunning. This intimidation leads them to believe that these women would never give them a second glance. They don’t want to be shot down so they end up not ever approaching the women of their dreams. Instead, they just keep watching from afar and fantasizing about what it would be like to date them.

Something else about beautiful women is that some of them are assumed to be very self-centered and, therefore, will only date certain types of men. They don’t want to be seen with the ordinary guys. In other words, if a man doesn’t have lots of money and a hot car, they shouldn’t even approach women like this. They will definitely be shot down. Now, this isn’t to say that ALL beautiful women are self-centered. There are ordinary looking women that can be just as self-centered, although one might wonder why they feel they deserve to be.

The point is, even if you feel that you’re a less than ordinary man, you should always give the beautiful women a chance. Very often, a gorgeous woman would love to be approached by an intelligent man with a great sense of humor even if he doesn’t look like the stereotypical movie star. Many times, as long as that man is clean, neat and smells nice, a beautiful woman would be more than pleased to spend time with him.

So, if that man sounds a bit like you, why are you not approaching that beautiful woman sitting all alone at the bar nursing a drink and looking ever so lonely? Unless you look like the Elephant Man and have the personality of a cave man, she just may welcome your company. But that’s not something you’ll ever know unless you try it. Sure, there’s a chance that she may not be interested and blow you off, but there’s at least a fifty percent chance that she’ll smile at you and accept a drink from you.

Now, if she does turn out to be one of those women that has ice water pumping through her veins and isn’t interested unless you’re a millionaire driving a Maserati, at least you’ll understand why she’s sitting in a bar drinking alone. However, if you get your feet wet, so to speak, the next time you might not be so nervous about approaching a great looking woman. After all, once you’ve been shot down, you’ll know how it feels and will know that it can’t kill you.

Besides, if nothing else, you may be starting the relationship of your dreams. If not, you might at least make a really wonderful friend.

Blind Dates Aren’t Always Nightmares

Blind dates have always received a bad rep for the most part. These are events that truly frighten people whether they’ve ever been on a blind date or not. That’s because, many times, they were set up by thoughtless people that didn’t even really consider how much the potential couple may actually have in common. Admittedly, these types of blind dates CAN and usually ARE complete nightmares, but it doesn’t have to always be that way.

In this current age of dating services and online dating websites, blind dates are almost the norm now. Of course, you DO have the option of getting to know the person you’re considering going on a date with prior to the date itself because of the online contact between the two of you. There’s chatting, exchange of emails, and even phone calls, if you want. By the time you actually meet for coffee or dinner, you’ve got somewhat of an idea about the person you’re meeting.

True blind dates are an entirely different matter. These happen when your best friend sets you up with her brother in law, cousin in law, guy from her husband’s office, or a variety of other choices. You’ve never laid eyes on this guy and know absolutely NOTHING about him, yet, you’ll be having dinner with him at your friend’s home. It is blind dates of this sort that can be trouble. If you haven’t been consulted at all prior to this date, it can be even worse.

However, look at it from another viewpoint. Suppose that your friend, sister, or whoever is setting you up on this blind date, has spoken at length with you about the qualities you must have in any man that you would consider having a relationship with. Suppose, also, that this person has spent time telling you all about the man that you’ll be meeting. In fact, you almost feel as if you know this man by the time the actual date comes about. Assume that the man in question has also undergone the same process regarding you. When it’s these things that have been considered before a blind date, there’s a very good chance that you and this new man will hit it off.

Another thing that is a better idea for blind dates is to double date. So when you meet this new man, you know that there won’t be any chances of those uncomfortable silences when you don’t know what to say. If you’ve got really good friends, they’ll know if the time comes that they should make themselves scarce and let the two of you get better acquainted. On the other hand, they’ll also be able to see if the entire exercise is one in futility, and they’ll know to call it a night at an appropriate time.

When there’s enough preparation beforehand, many blind dates turn out to be very successful and can even end in marriage. The thing to remember is that they must be orchestrated in just the right way to stand a chance of working out.

Signs He’s Taking You for Granted

One of the biggest enemies of relationships is when one or both partners start taking each other for granted. This goes a long way in killing the romance as well as the love between two people. Typically, it’s pretty easy to tell when someone starts to take you for granted. However, if you’re not SURE, but you highly suspect that your partner is taking you for granted, there a few surefire telltale signs that will seal the deal for you.

• He forgets your birthday and/or anniversary: Now, it is possible that your partner was so busy at work or something else was going on that caused him to zone out and forget what day it is. That can happen once in a while but if it happens on a regular basis, he might be taking you for granted.
• He doesn’t care how he looks around you anymore: You know how guys make themselves look and even smell great in the beginning of a relationship. Well, if he stops showering regularly, or brushing his teeth, and lays around in his old, ripped up clothes when he’s just with you, that kind of shows where you fall on his list of priorities. It’s even worse if he dresses up to go out with his friends.
• He doesn’t pay attention to your appearance any more: Granted, once you’ve been together for a while, your man isn’t going to be telling you how hot you look every time you make a little change to the way you look. However, if you put on something slinky and sexy and he still can’t manage to tear himself away from the television, there’s a problem. If he’s not seeing you when you dress up for him, he’s probably taking you for granted.
• He would rather have a night out with the boys rather than one with you: Some guys just need that night out with the guys to blow off steam or whatever. But if he cancels a night out with you to spend it with his buddies at a strip club, you need to be finding out why. On top of it, if he finally finds time to shower, shave and dress up first, then you should really be suspicious. Give him his space at times, but if he’s spending more time with the guys than with you, it’s time to leave.
• If he never helps you around the house, he’s probably taking you for granted: He might have a hard job that tires him out but if he constantly feels that you’re the one that should do everything around the house, including cleaning up after him, you should question it. He may just need a maid and a whore in his life and you fit the bill. Don’t let him take you for granted like that.

Yes, relationships become comfortable and familiar the longer they last. But if he’s showing these signs, it’s time to address the situation. Keep your self-respect in place and don’t let yourself be treated like a second class citizen.

Making Online Dating Less Scary

Online dating has become one of the more popular ways of meeting people for possible romance these days. There are hundreds of thousands of dating websites online now. They cover every type of dating and interacting that you can possibly think of. People join these sites every day and start their search for the perfect companion.

Even though this type of dating has really caught on, there are still some people that find the entire process quite scary. They don’t like the idea of hooking up with someone that they’ve only chatted to over the computer or on the phone. These are the same people that dislike blind dates even when they’re introduced by trusted friends. However, you shouldn’t back away from online dating just because you’re afraid. There are ways to make this experience a lot less scary and a lot more fun.

Decide ahead of time what your personal boundaries will be when it comes online dating. For instance, there may be certain days of the week that work better as date nights for you. If so, you need to stick to those nights even if his schedule doesn’t match yours. Try to work out something for the next week, instead. If he tries to push you for something faster, you may want to drop him because there should be no sense of urgency about a date. He may be looking for something else.

You also need to be yourself on a dating site. Just because you’re meeting someone in a more unconventional way doesn’t mean that you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Remember, whoever you are when you meet someone is who you’ll have to continue to be. That’s why it’s always best to be exactly who you are.

Another thing you need to do is be clear about what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship, then say so. If you just want someone to have sex with, be honest about that, too. Don’t send mixed signals and, hopefully, you won’t receive any in return. When you state the type of relationship that you’re looking for, that will usually stop you from wasting time with someone that wants something completely different.

Make a list of qualities that you want in a potential partner. You’ll probably have trouble finding someone that ticks all the boxes on your list, but if you keep to the most important qualities, that should point you in a good direction. If you’re not TOO particular about what you want, you’ll find someone a lot faster.

Make some dating rules that will keep you safe. Don’t give someone your home address or let him come to pick you up on the first date. Agree to meet at the place of your date as long as this place is well lit and has plenty of people around. Take your own transportation in case you need to make a fast exit. It’s also a good idea to take along your cell phone.

Once you have connected with someone that seems promising, stay true to your dating rules. Don’t meet him until YOU’RE ready. If he isn’t patient enough to wait, he’s not worth your time.

How to Get the Most from Your Online Dating Search

Once you’ve decided to take the plunge and get involved in online dating, there are things you can do to make your search for the perfect dating partner much easier. If you’re familiar with the term SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, you know that’s the secret ingredient to having a successful business. Some people have started to bring this very technique into their online dating search.

There are some things that have come to light with experts in these matters and they have been proven to work when it comes to landing the man you’re looking online. Once you try these things, you’ll see the difference in the type of men you attract.

To begin with, you should wear red in your profile picture. It seems that men are more attracted to red than to any other color. Since physical attraction is the beginning spark of most relationships, your profile picture is a vital part of getting an online date. Take whatever time is needed to get a flattering picture of yourself as you look now. Don’t use an old photo and try to Photoshop it. That’s simply not fair and the man you meet for a date is going to notice that you don’t look the same now. So, use only a little makeup, show moderate cleavage and a deliver a high wattage smile. Look directly into the camera and take the picture from the waist up.

Commit to a certain number of visits to your dating profile every day. Each time you visit your profile, change a little something in it. That will make you turn up new all the time in the database of the site. A lot of online dating sites maintain a list of new users, recently logged in users, and users that have recently updated their profiles that shows up on their homepage. As long as you keep visiting your profile, you’ll keep being seen on the homepage. This also indicates how serious you are about finding a good relationship.

The next thing you can use to your advantage is the way you handle your messages. Any messages that you send to your potential dates should be on a more personal note. Don’t use a generic message to send out to every man that messages you. Keep it specific for each man that you’re chatting to based on what their profiles say about them and what caught your eye. In addition, when you’re describing yourself, use some simple keywords that show up all the time in searches. These can be things like love, sports, painting, cooking, dancing and more. Don’t lie, either.

The tips mentioned here aren’t very difficult to follow but they can make all the difference in the world as to whether or not you get the man you would most like to go on a date with. All of these things are geared to bring you to the attention of the men that you would consider dating potential. Try them out and see just how far they’ll get you.

Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

• Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous.
• You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too.
• Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it.
• Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter.
• You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas.
• Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

Signs that Your Woman is Cheating on You

Everyone knows that men cheat all the time. It’s almost like it’s in their DNA or something. If it’s genetic, they just can’t help themselves, right?  While that’s probably a lot of nonsense, something else to consider is that women also cheat. They may not cheat quite as much as men, but they DO step out on their men for various reasons. Sometimes they’re better at hiding it than their cheating male counterparts, though. There are signs, however, that you can look for if you think your woman may be cheating on you. They include:

• Accusing YOU of cheating: This is a way of diverting the guilt from herself to you. Even worse, is if you’ve cheated on her before, she may give herself permission to get even with you by cheating. Either way, she knows what she’s done and figures that you may be doing the same thing.
• Starting to look her best when she goes out: When you notice your partner suddenly dressing to the nines when she’s supposedly going grocery shopping or to the gym, you may want to investigate why she needs to look so gorgeous.
• Telling you she needs some space: While this doesn’t always mean she’s cheating, it can mean that she wants you out of the way so she’ll be free to meet a lover.
• Hinting that she’s not happy: If your partner is telling you things like she needs more romance in her life, and that she loves things like getting flowers and love notes, you need to take her seriously. You see, if YOU don’t hear what she’s telling you, someone ELSE WILL.
• Making a new best friend that you’ve never met: In this case, it’s not so much that she’s made a new best friend and you’ve never met this friend, it’s that she’s suddenly spending lots of time with this new friend. In addition, she always has an excuse for why it’s not a good time to meet her.
• Changing her plans at the very last minute: For example, she’s gone out for a night on the town with the new best friend that you’ve never met and calls you around midnight with some excuse for why she’s just going to crash at her friend’s place for the night.
• Your friends are telling you she’s cheating: Of course you don’t want to believe something like that, and she’s told you it’s not true. However, if more than one person tells you they know she’s cheating, it’s probably true.
• Suddenly wanting to keep close tabs on you: When your woman is cheating on you, she needs to make sure that she’s not likely to run into you while she’s doing it.
• Making excuses for not having sex: This should be a huge red flag, especially if she was always raring to go in the past. Now, all of a sudden, she’s too tired, doesn’t feel well, or has the most frequent and longest periods in history.
• Has no interest in the relationship: She probably doesn’t care enough to even argue with you anymore.

You may think that these are all pretty obvious signs of cheating but you would be surprised at how many of them that men actually miss.

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