The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone

Typically, you can tell when you’re in a relationship that’s really going nowhere, and you can feel when you’re ready to end that relationship. While it’s always good to know where you stand, it’s also wise to realize when the time of the break up is not right. Obviously, breaking up is never going to be easy, but you can make it even worse by choosing the wrong time to end a relationship.

For instance, birthdays are TERRIBLE times to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE his birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose the day before, of, or the day after his birthday to break up, it will always leave a bad feeling with him. Every birthday is going to remind him that his relationship ended at that time. So, if you can manage it, time the break up so that it’s a decent amount of time on either side of his birthday and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.

Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining it for him for a very long time, if not forever. That’s why knowing when you’re ready to leave a relationship is a good thing as you can time the break up for a day that doesn’t mean anything to either of you.

Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that this particular holiday may never be enjoyable again if the break up is pretty bad.  Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money because you most likely won’t be buying gifts for each other. In addition, the holidays just turn into very sad occasions when a relationship ends during them. This is true of the days immediately before and after them.

The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow him well into the future. You should be kind about the timing of your break up.

The exception to this rule is if your about to be ex is cheating on you and you just found out, or he’s done something even more horrendous. In cases such as those, he DESERVES to be miserable for future special days.

Why Living in the Past Can Ruin Your Life

When a relationship ends for whatever reason, a lot of people have problems with moving on with their lives. Instead of trying to deal with their pain and heal so they can have a happy future, they mope around and moan and groan about how horrible their lives are. Worse yet, they will spill their misery to everyone that will listen just how awful they were treated during the break up.

There are many ways to tell if you’re one of these people that are refusing to move on. No one wants to subject their friends to this sort of behavior for long periods of time. Sure, your friends will listen to you and do everything they can to help you get through this tough time in your life, but after a while, they’re not going to want to hear nothing EXCEPT your break up and how unhappy you are.

So the first thing you’ll notice is that your friends, even your best friends, are starting to pull away from you. That’s something you should definitely pay attention to.  No, don’t blame it on them. If they’ve been by your side for the last six to twelve months, and all you can do is talk about your ex, chances are pretty good that you’ve worn them out.

Something else that tells you that you’re not moving on is when you spend all of your spare time looking at picture albums of you and your ex and re-reading your diary written when you and your ex were together.  While you sit and go through these things night after night, you’ve got songs on your CD player that were special to you when you were part of a couple. You simply won’t let those things go.

You refuse to go out with friends and have some fun. Instead, you stalk your ex on Facebook and grill your mutual friends for information about your ex. You’re not moving forward with your life when all of your focus is still firmly on your ex and the life that the two of you once had.

The question you need to ask yourself is just how is dwelling in the past going to help you to enjoy a happy future? The answer, whether you want to admit it or not, is that you won’t have a happy future. You’re going to be 80 years old and still alone, spending your days and nights poring over your old photo albums, diaries and listening to songs that are a half century old. Is that really what you want?

When you decide to stay firmly entrenched in the past, there’s simply no way to live happily in the present while moving into a future that’s promising. Living in the past and clinging to a relationship that’s never going to happen again, will gain you nothing except a very lonely and sad existence. Don’t let that happen to yourself. Do what you can to let go of the ex that will never return and open yourself up to all of the romantic possibilities right in front of you.

Signs of a Facebook Stalker

When a relationship ends, people tend to go a little crazy. Some go crazy for just a little while, and it may seem that others just lose their minds completely. They have to know everything about what their ex is doing, and one of the easiest places to find out this information is through the social networking site Facebook.

The first place that a Facebook Stalker will head following a breakup is the ex’s Facebook account. These pages will usually give all of the current information that anyone interested could ever want on an ex.

If you find yourself in the situation of having just come out of a relationship, there are ways to tell if you’ve turned into a Facebook Stalker.   You may be if you do you do any of the following:

• Check his Facebook page at least once every hour: If you find yourself checking your ex’s Facebook page more than you check your own, you’ve probably crossed over into Facebook Stalker Land.
• Create a fake Facebook Profile and then send him a friend request: Many times, an ex will de-friend and block you on Facebook because he doesn’t want you reading his Facebook page and finding out what he’s up to. When this happens, if you’re rabid to know what he’s doing, you’ll make up a fake Facebook profile complete with hot pictures that you’ve found online to lure him in. Then you send him a friend request. If you go to all of this trouble following a breakup, you’ve definitely become a Facebook Stalker.
• Get a friend that’s on your ex’s friends list to keep you updated: This means that you know someone who’s on his friend list that will enable you to see what he’s doing even if you’re blocked. This doesn’t hold the same risk of getting caught that creating a fake profile can. Doing it this way just means that you can look over your friend’s shoulder while he or she is visiting your ex’s page but it does make you suspiciously close to being a Facebook Stalker.
• Search all of the comments on your ex’s status updates.  When you do this, you’re most likely checking to see if your ex is possibly seeing anyone else yet or if he’s flirting with anyone. This is only possible if you’re still on his friend list. But you’re spending hours scrolling back into his older comments and updates, this means you’re heading into Facebook Stalker territory.

Those are some of the main symptoms of being a Facebook Stalker but there are certainly many more smaller and less significant ones. Look closely at yourself and your behavior since the breakup happened. Then compare your actions to this list. If you see yourself in any of these symptoms, it’s time to get a grip and move on with your life. Stalking your ex on Facebook isn’t going to make you any happier or make you miss him any less. Let him go and start focusing on your own life.