Rebuilding Trust In a Relationship

Something that can single-handedly destroy any relationship is when trust is broken. This can be through lying, cheating or anything else that constitutes betrayal.

There are many ways that trust can be broken:

• Cheating, of course, is number one on the list. When one partner goes outside of the relationship and has sex with someone else, it brings about a situation in the relationship that many don’t survive.
• Lying to your partner about something important will also break trust. Your partner won’t know when you’re lying or not after that.
• Talking badly about your partner to others is disrespectful as well as trust breaking.

Once trust is broken, it can be next to impossible to rebuild. The first step is deciding how badly you want the relationship to survive. If you really want to make it work in spite of what you’ve done, you need to understand that it’s not going to be easy. You’re going to be on probation for a long time. Expect to have to explain your every move for a while. Also, don’t be late in coming home or calling when you’ve said you would be. Once you lie about something, it’s going to be difficult to convince your partner that you won’t do it anymore.

When you say you’ll be home at a certain time, it’s vital that you be there within at least 5 minutes of the set time. If you get caught in traffic or were delayed at work, you had better take a couple of minutes to call ahead of time to explain what’s going on. It may be necessary to make more than one call depending on what has caused your delay and how long you’re going to be. This may be a bit annoying but when you cheat or lie to your partner, you can expect to be making it up for a long time to come. If you want to repair your relationship, it’s not going to be easy on you and it shouldn’t be.

If your screw up was talking badly about your partner to others, assuming your partner still wants to try to work on things, the hoops that you’ll probably have to jump through may be even more irritating.

First of all, though, think about why you said the things you did about your partner. Is it possible that you really want to end the relationship and this is how you were getting that out in the open? Why would you say negative things about your partner behind their back if you really are in love with them? Yes, those are some things to think about because being talked badly about by someone that’s supposed to love you can be very hurtful.

The bottom line is that if you want to make the relationship work in spite of what you did to ruin it, there are things that you’ll need to do to rebuild that broken trust. You must be willing to toe the line for as long as it takes or walk away now.

Tips for Keeping the Relationship Spark Alive

Everyone knows how challenging that marriage and relationships in general can be. That’s why all couples can use a little help from time to time on how to keep things passionate, alive and new. There are some ways to do this that make it a bit easier. Have a look at these tips and suggestions to see what works best for you:

• Don’t let the newness go out of your relationship: The longer that couples are together, the more they tend to forget that they are a couple first and spouses, significant others, and parents second. You must put forth some effort to keep things feeling new. Don’t ever forget that a relationship grows into a friendship of sorts. That’s why you should start out as friends, stay friends, and become and stay lovers.
• Understand that you can’t change your significant other: Too many times, people go into a relationship thinking they can change the other person into what THEY want them to be. Anyone that starts out a relationship that way is doomed to fail. Each individual must WANT to grow and change on their own. All you can control is how YOU act or react to any issues that come up.
• Make yourself someone they can respect and love in the long term: Way too often, when the courtship part of a relationship ends, men will stop putting as much effort into making themselves attractive to their women. That’s bad but, even worse, is that women let this happen. This can be fixed by men continuing to put forth effort into the relationship and women not allowing the men to only half-assed try.
• Your strength, self-esteem and individuality need to stay up front and center at all times: Two people make up a relationship. These people each have their own needs and desires that exist within and without the relationship. It’s vital that they keep their own desires and interests at the forefront of their minds. Compromise in a relationship is good but only if you’re not compromising the person you are and what you really want in your life.
• Never just settle for anything: If your partner refuses to grow along with you or address the needs that both of you have, never just settle for what you have. Life is too short to lead a bland existence. Your partner should be someone that cherishes you and enjoys you rather than feeling you’re a duty or obligation.
• Keep the sex great and inventive: Sex isn’t just a physical form of release. It’s also a true closeness; the ideal sharing of passion with each other. These sexual encounters can be as romantic, as passionate or as kinky as each couple prefers. However, it IS critical that these interactions take place on a regular basis. It allows you to both be open, trusting and vulnerable in a way that’s important to having a healthy sex life.

The important thing to remember is to never let passion slip away. Passion is both in and out of the bedroom.