Signs He’s Taking You for Granted

One of the biggest enemies of relationships is when one or both partners start taking each other for granted. This goes a long way in killing the romance as well as the love between two people. Typically, it’s pretty easy to tell when someone starts to take you for granted. However, if you’re not SURE, but you highly suspect that your partner is taking you for granted, there a few surefire telltale signs that will seal the deal for you.

• He forgets your birthday and/or anniversary: Now, it is possible that your partner was so busy at work or something else was going on that caused him to zone out and forget what day it is. That can happen once in a while but if it happens on a regular basis, he might be taking you for granted.
• He doesn’t care how he looks around you anymore: You know how guys make themselves look and even smell great in the beginning of a relationship. Well, if he stops showering regularly, or brushing his teeth, and lays around in his old, ripped up clothes when he’s just with you, that kind of shows where you fall on his list of priorities. It’s even worse if he dresses up to go out with his friends.
• He doesn’t pay attention to your appearance any more: Granted, once you’ve been together for a while, your man isn’t going to be telling you how hot you look every time you make a little change to the way you look. However, if you put on something slinky and sexy and he still can’t manage to tear himself away from the television, there’s a problem. If he’s not seeing you when you dress up for him, he’s probably taking you for granted.
• He would rather have a night out with the boys rather than one with you: Some guys just need that night out with the guys to blow off steam or whatever. But if he cancels a night out with you to spend it with his buddies at a strip club, you need to be finding out why. On top of it, if he finally finds time to shower, shave and dress up first, then you should really be suspicious. Give him his space at times, but if he’s spending more time with the guys than with you, it’s time to leave.
• If he never helps you around the house, he’s probably taking you for granted: He might have a hard job that tires him out but if he constantly feels that you’re the one that should do everything around the house, including cleaning up after him, you should question it. He may just need a maid and a whore in his life and you fit the bill. Don’t let him take you for granted like that.

Yes, relationships become comfortable and familiar the longer they last. But if he’s showing these signs, it’s time to address the situation. Keep your self-respect in place and don’t let yourself be treated like a second class citizen.

How to Get the Most from Your Online Dating Search

Once you’ve decided to take the plunge and get involved in online dating, there are things you can do to make your search for the perfect dating partner much easier. If you’re familiar with the term SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, you know that’s the secret ingredient to having a successful business. Some people have started to bring this very technique into their online dating search.

There are some things that have come to light with experts in these matters and they have been proven to work when it comes to landing the man you’re looking online. Once you try these things, you’ll see the difference in the type of men you attract.

To begin with, you should wear red in your profile picture. It seems that men are more attracted to red than to any other color. Since physical attraction is the beginning spark of most relationships, your profile picture is a vital part of getting an online date. Take whatever time is needed to get a flattering picture of yourself as you look now. Don’t use an old photo and try to Photoshop it. That’s simply not fair and the man you meet for a date is going to notice that you don’t look the same now. So, use only a little makeup, show moderate cleavage and a deliver a high wattage smile. Look directly into the camera and take the picture from the waist up.

Commit to a certain number of visits to your dating profile every day. Each time you visit your profile, change a little something in it. That will make you turn up new all the time in the database of the site. A lot of online dating sites maintain a list of new users, recently logged in users, and users that have recently updated their profiles that shows up on their homepage. As long as you keep visiting your profile, you’ll keep being seen on the homepage. This also indicates how serious you are about finding a good relationship.

The next thing you can use to your advantage is the way you handle your messages. Any messages that you send to your potential dates should be on a more personal note. Don’t use a generic message to send out to every man that messages you. Keep it specific for each man that you’re chatting to based on what their profiles say about them and what caught your eye. In addition, when you’re describing yourself, use some simple keywords that show up all the time in searches. These can be things like love, sports, painting, cooking, dancing and more. Don’t lie, either.

The tips mentioned here aren’t very difficult to follow but they can make all the difference in the world as to whether or not you get the man you would most like to go on a date with. All of these things are geared to bring you to the attention of the men that you would consider dating potential. Try them out and see just how far they’ll get you.

Choose Your Battles

All couples have disagreements from time to time. Many people consider arguing sometimes to be healthy for relationships. Of course, if you argue constantly that may be a sign of some different issues. However, getting back to the positive side of fighting, there are some benefits to doing some verbal slugging it out on occasion.

First of all, when couples argue, there’s a release of any tension build up. Sometimes, when you’re with someone a lot, there are things that can get on your nerves about each other. These things build when they’re not addressed and resolved. So, there may be some little thing that causes the blow up but the fight is actually about other things that have been allowed to fester for too long. Once the air is cleared, the fight is over and the tension is gone, or at least clearly reduced.

Having a difference of opinion is a good way to show that you’re not completely alike. There’s a lot to be said about having enough things in common, but nothing is more boring than being exactly alike. The things that you disagree over can be debated in a mature manner, or should be. But if yelling and throwing things is more the way you and your partner like to handle issues, go for it. Just try not to disturb the neighbors.

Something else you also need to understand about arguing is that you cannot always win. There’s no way to do that and hold onto a successful relationship. You need to be aware that you’re not always going to be right 100 percent of the time and your partner isn’t going to be, either. That’s why it’s important to choose your battles. Some things are just more important than others. When you’re positive that you’re right about something; that’s the thing to fight for. Of course, you should also be prepared for your partner to be equally adamant that he’s right about the same issue.

Another thing that turns out to be pretty nice about having a fight with your partner is that once it’s over, you get to make up. There’s just something about make up sex that’s unlike any other kind of sex you’ll ever have. It has an intensity to it that only anger and repentance can bring out. You almost feel as if you came very close to losing one another and then you were snatched back from the jaws of death regarding your relationship. The love and passion you feel for each other at the moment you make up is stronger than even the first time you were ever together physically. That’s a delicious feeling to hold onto.

Again, remember to choose your battles. Yes, the makeup sex if amazing and the end of a fight can mark the beginning of your love all over again. However, don’t fight over stupid things. Make your battles count and make them bring about a lasting joy and compromise into your relationship. Things will be so much better if you can do that.

Is Your Partner Reliable?

It seems that so many men these days just aren’t reliable, even when in a relationship. There are so many things now that work to distract them. For instance, more and more relationships are ending due to the amount of time that men spend playing video games or computer games. Then there’s the myriad of sports events that are covered by ESPN and if you’re with a sports fanatic, you may as well plan on being alone when the different seasons begin.

Unless you’re also a sports fanatic or love to play video games, you’re going to want to move in another direction because, for you, it’s going to be necessary to be in a relationship with someone that’s reliable. As hard as it may be to face, these types of men are rarely going to be reliable when it means that they’ll need to be away from their sports events or video games. That’s why you must pay close attention while you’re still in the early stages of dating.

A lot of men, in fact most of them, will not show tons of interest in the things that consume their lives otherwise after they first meet someone that they’re interested in. So, it will be up to you to spot whatever you can that tells you a bit about his life. If you spot every video game console made hanging around in his house, chances are that he didn’t buy them simply for decorations. You’ll probably find that he’s also got a pretty impressive collection of games for each of these consoles, too.

Something else you’ll probably want to check is what television channels that he subscribes to. If you see that his guide lists all of the ESPN channels, you’re probably dating a huge sports fanatic. He’s most likely just keeping this part of his personality under wraps until he has you sufficiently baited, hooked and reeled in. He’s probably had issues in other relationships because of all of the avid attachment to video games and sports. So he already knows that it’s going to be a problem.

If you see enough things that have you filled with questions, now is the time to ask those questions and get your answers. The last thing you want to do is get involved with someone that will stand you over in a corner while he spends all of his time slaying virtual dragons and pretending that he’s a football star. This type of man typically has you feeling alone more than anything else.

Think carefully before you get seriously involved with someone that will always let everything else get in the way of things you may need from him. You’ll spend a life of taking care of yourself when you’re sick, forgotten birthdays and anniversaries, and being stood up for important events in your life. It’s much easier to be with someone that’s actually involved in the relationship, too. This is someone that you’ll be able to count in to be there when you need him.

Is Your Online Relationship Going Anywhere?

With the introduction of home computers and the Internet, dating and relationships have gone to an entirely new dimension. For example, it’s now possible for someone living in the United States to be in a relationship with someone living in Australia. The entire relationship was begun online and is maintained online. It’s not surprising that a significant percentage have never even met in person. They talk online, by Skype, instant messenger, video cameras, through email and probably on cell phones. However, they’ve never even touched each other physically.

Believe it or not, relationships such as these are quite common these days, and new ones are being formed every day. People seem quite happy being in these relationships for the most part. It gives them something to look forward to first thing in the morning and when they get home in the evening. They set up dates on the weekend and even go so far as to prepare the same meals so that they can have dinner, lunch or breakfast together by webcam.

This is all very romantic and exciting, even, but it does beg the question of just where this type of relationship is going. Does one of you plan to fly across the world in order to meet the other one? What happens if you suddenly decide you can’t live without each other? Does it even make sense to up and quit your job and trade your life in for someone that you’ve never even kissed?

These are all questions that will need to be addressed at some point in time, unless, of course, you’ve decided to just maintain this virtual relationship and never make it anything more than it is now. Believe it or not, there ARE those couples that seem to have no plans for the future. They just live in the here and now, enjoying the company of someone over their computer.

If a relationship of this kind is truly enough for you, it may be time for you to examine the reasons for not caring if you have a relationship in the truest sense of the word. Are you inherently selfish or self-centered and don’t want to have to look after someone else? Do you like the company but also the freedom that you have by not being in a true physical relationship? Do you like the romance but aren’t so fond of sex?

You really need to address these questions before making the final decision of being in a pretend relationship where you both talk about a “someday” that will never come. When you remain in a cyber-relationship such as this, you always run the risk that your online partner will decide that he wants more and wants something he can touch. Are you ready to make the move for that to happen?

You’re the only one that can decide whether or not you’re ready for a real, mature relationship. It could be that you’ll be happier having a pretend one. You should, however, be honest with your cyber partner once you decide.

Are You the Marrying Kind?

For centuries it has been assumed that people will eventually marry and have their own families.  Years ago, it was the goal of all young women to marry and bear children. In many cultures, if girls weren’t married by the time they were 15, they were on their way to becoming spinsters.

Although, the ages of marriage have become older these days, a bit of the same beliefs have held up. Women today get married later and later in life due to the fact that they attend college and have their own important careers. It’s not unusual to see women in their 30s marry for the first time because they’ve given themselves time to get settled into their careers.

The rather unusual thing that people are seeing more and more in recent years, though, are women as well as men that never get married. For some of these people, it’s because they simply never met anyone they felt was the right person to spend the rest of their lives with. Others just didn’t want to be tied down legally to another person forever. That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with this. It’s a choice.

Something that you should understand about yourself is whether or not you’re one of those people that shouldn’t be married. There are certainly ways to tell if you fit into this category, and if you find yourself in that group, it’s only fair to share this information with people you date in the event that they’re looking for a life partner.

Many people just become “set in their ways.”  This means that they have a certain routine and certain way that they like to do things and they’re not interested in changing that to accommodate someone else. You may thoroughly enjoy the company of someone special but you may also not want that person to live with you.

Are you financially independent? If so, it may bother you that you could have someone else relying on you to help them pay bills. There’s always a chance that someone you hook up with may have some financial issues that would hold you liable if you were legally attached. This is probably something else that you don’t want to get involved with.

It could be that you’re just not the caretaker type. You don’t want to be responsible for cooking for someone else or doing their laundry, and you aren’t excited about picking up after someone else. Maybe you don’t like looking after someone when they’re sick. All of these things are a part of a committed relationship, whether you’re living together or legally married.

Those are all things you need to consider seriously when figuring out if you want to be married or not. If you feel that you just don’t want all of the responsibility that goes along with committed relationships, you most likely aren’t the type of person that needs or even should be married. Don’t consider yourself deficient in any way if you feel this way. You’re not. Just be thankful that you realized it before walking down the aisle.

Are You Threesome Material?

The majority of relationships have usually always been between two partners. Whether this was a man and a woman, two men, or two women, it’s still a relationship consisting of a pair. Something that’s been emerging more and more over the last several years is that of triad relationships. The simple definition of a triad is commonly a couple dating the same third person.  In many instances, the third person moves in with the couple and they all live together.

A triad is becoming a more popular alternative lifestyle for bisexual people. These triads can consist of two men and a woman or two women and a man. In some cases of gay partners, it can be made up of three men or three women.  It totally depends on the type of arrangement that works best for you.

Celebrities have apparently been into these types of relationships for quite a while. Former adult movie actress, Nina Hartley, and her husband make a third woman a part of their relationship on a regular basis. Nina is admittedly bisexual and this is an arrangement that has worked quite well for this couple over the years. When they bring someone into their marriage as a third party, they also bring that woman into their home to live with them for as long as the arrangement lasts. In this case, a triad is very successful.

Threesomes have been around for centuries, but the triad is a bit newer and more inclusive than just as a one night fling. This is an arrangement where everyone lives together, sleeps together, and basically IS together. They go out to dinner together, see movies together, and attend parties and other social gatherings all as a triad. They don’t hide their lifestyle, either. People involved in triad simply don’t look at what they do as anything really out of the ordinary because, for them, it IS normal.

For the many women these days that are having trouble with finding the right relationship, a triad could be another option that would have them involved in a meaningful relationship in a much shorter time. Of course, if you’re not bisexual, it’s probably not something you would be interested in unless you have the chance to become involved in a triad with two men. It depends on just how open minded you are. If you’re more of a traditionalist, a triad is probably not going to work for you. However, if you’re open to trying new things, it’s certainly something that you may want to consider.

A triad is a non-traditional relationship that’s truly not for everyone, but you may surprise yourself. Most of the time, it’s all a matter of the people involved in these sorts of relationships. You may consider all sorts of alternative options just by meeting the right people that will push all of your good buttons. If not, there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be a traditionalist and be in a relationship with one partner.

Signs that Your Guy is One to Keep

There are plenty of signs that let you know the guy you’re dating or are in a relationship with is Mr. Wrong. In fact, you may focus too much on trying to spot those signs that you totally miss the ones that let you know your guy’s a keeper. To make it easier to see those signs, check out the following:

• He puts you first: A man that’s truly committed to you and your relationship will make you a top priority in his life. He continues to show you that he loves you and is devoted to you and the relationship.
• He’s there for you when you need him: When you get in a tough spot, a man that really loves you will be there supporting you. He’ll be there to hold your hand or hold you up.
• He likes your quirkiness: The man you want to keep will love you because he treasures your abilities and overlooks your flaws. In fact, he may even love your flaws.
• He always shows you just how much he cares: The most important part of relationships is how your man treats you. He doesn’t have to send you dozens of red roses all the time. It’s more the little things like taking your car to fill it with gas for you or emailing you to wish you luck on something at work.
• He’s kind: You’ve probably always heard that actions speak louder than words, and this applies to how you’re treated in relationships, too.  If he’s respectful to his parents, polite to food servers and gentle with animals, then he’s an all-around nice guy. The best part is when he’s kind even though he thinks no one is looking.
• He’s reliable: You know you can depend on him and take him at his word. These kinds of men are pretty hard to find these days.
• He wants to marry you, too: There’s a huge problem when only one of you wants to get married. If he wants a life and family with you, you’ve got a keeper for sure.
• He can deal with your emotions: Women are just more emotional than men, for the most part. A man you want to keep will know how to deal with yours and will never call you “crazy” or tell you that you act “just like your (or his) mother.”
• He fights maturely: The way a man deals with any conflict thrown his way shows a lot about his character. A man you want to keep expresses his feelings, asks for things he wants and can handle constructive criticism without throwing a tantrum. He’s also a good listener.
• He’s a mature grown-up: There should actually be a drum roll and fireworks around this one. For whatever reason, too many men in the world today are just immature. They stalled out somewhere along the way from childhood to adulthood and are still stuck. If you’re with a man that’s competent and responsible, be sure to hang on tight to him. He may be the only one of these you meet in life.

If your man has even SOME of these qualities, you’re probably doing pretty well. Just choose the ones that are most important to you and don’t except anything less.

Signs That You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Too many relationships these days fall into the category of being abusive. This doesn’t always have to involve physical harm. There are also such things as emotional and verbal abuse and these are far more common. This sort of abuse doesn’t leave any outer scars. All of the damage is done on the inside. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship and not realize it. Look over the following signs and see if you fit in with any of them:

• You’ve been isolated from your family and friends: This is a classic sign of an emotionally abusive partner. The first thing they want to do is keep you from interacting with anyone outside of themselves. They don’t want you to be able to tell anyone else what’s being done to you.
• Your partner is verbally abusive to you: Whenever someone calls you terrible names, it’s meant to hurt you and keep you in line. Abusive partners will blame you for being too sensitive and not being able to take a joke. They tend to be able to convince you that this is normal and you’re the one with the problem.
• He blames everyone else for his problems: This is a really bad sign, especially if you’re the main one he or she blames. When they throw tantrums and verbally attack you, they’ll say it’s your fault. A healthy relationship has both parties taking responsibility for things.
• Drug and alcohol use: Not every abuser has to be addicted to something, but it certainly makes things worse. Addicts are typically erratic and display inappropriate behavior that can turn violent.
• Makes you afraid: If you’re afraid of your partner, something is definitely not right. Abusers use fear to intimidate you and if you’re afraid, you’re being abused.
• Metes out punishment for being away from him: This goes hand in hand with isolating you from family and friends. He wants you all to himself. So if you do go somewhere and leave him at home, he’s going to be very irate. He may even act out when he goes along because there were other people there and he had to share you.
• You’re expected to wait on him hand, foot and bedpan: Abusive men feel entitled to be treated like royalty and they expect you to be their submissive servant.  They’re not going to help you, ever.
• He’s insanely jealous of you: Jealousy is a prominent trait exhibited by abusers. They’re jealous over other people paying attention to you, over you paying attention to them, and even over your goals and dreams. They don’t feel as if they can control those parts of your life so they go crazy.
• He’s very manipulative and controls you by his emotions: If an abuser doesn’t get his way, he’ll pout, threaten to leave, or wield emotional punishment on you. He’ll also use guilt. If you finally reach the end of your rope, he’ll beg you not to leave, crying and promising to change. His “remorse” doesn’t last very long and as soon as you’ve given in, he’ll return to his abusive ways.

Sadly, these can lead up to eventual physical abuse if you let things continue. The best idea is to get out of this relationship fast and don’t ever look back.

Surviving a Relationship Break Up

Not all relationships are meant to last. In fact, most of them are simply stepping stones to the main event. Because of this, you’ll most likely experience several relationship break ups as you move through your life. While this is true, it’s also true that each break up will most likely hurt equally and you’ll spend too much time wishing that you could make the pain go away. Believe it or not, there are ways to survive a break up without too much wear and tear on your heart.

First of all, let yourself feel the grief. Many people compare the ending of a relationship to the death of someone they care about. Actually, it IS a sort of death. That’s why you need to deal with the grief that you feel. Give yourself time to absorb the fact that your relationship is over and let that pain wash over you. Then, after a suitable mourning period, take the steps to putting your life back in balance once more.

Don’t turn away your friends. They only want to help and, besides, you’ll need someone to talk to. Friends that you trust can be the best thing that you can do for yourself in your time of pain. They’ll do everything they can to help you move through this negative point in your life because they care about you.  This support will help you immeasurably; so let them be there for you.

Get rid of everything that makes you feel sad all over again about the end of the relationship. This means pictures, gifts, clothing or anything else that you may have kept as a memento of this time in your life. If you can’t bear to totally throw it all away, pack it up and let a friend keep it for you until you’re at a point where you can deal with seeing it again.

Don’t jump right back into the dating game immediately. However, it’s a great idea to go out with friends and have some fun. When you isolate yourself, it only makes things worse. So you need to be out and about with people that care about you.

Try to force some positive thinking. It won’t be easy at first. Actually, it may be impossible. But if you try to think of at least one positive thing every day, you’ll eventually find that these positive thoughts come to you unbidden. Basically, the more you make yourself smile, the easier it will become. Before you know it, these smiles will be genuine.

Just like a death, the ending of a relationship becomes better with time. Sooner or later, you’ll find that you’re thinking about your ex less and less until, finally, one day you’ll go to bed at night and suddenly realize that you didn’t think about the past relationship once all day. That’s when you know that the worst is over. You’re well on your way, then, to completely recovering and moving on with your life.

Next Page »