The Grey Areas of Infidelity

If you were to look up the definition of infidelity, you would most likely come across something like “being unfaithful sexually especially to a spouse,” or “being disloyal.” Both of these are, indeed, true. When you have sex with someone other than your partner, you are definitely being unfaithful and disloyal to them. So that much is true. But what about the other ways that infidelity can occur? These are the grey areas when it comes to cheating. Some may consider these actions to be cheating but are they “technically” unfaithful actions?

By definition, being unfaithful doesn’t actually have to be by committing a sexual act with someone other than your partner. Any act that betrays your loyalty to your partner can also be considered cheating within a relationship. The grey area can become rather confusing in this way.

However, consider that infidelity means different things for various couples. That’s why you must sit down with your partner and discuss where you are in this grey area. Be clear regarding actions that you, personally, consider to be cheating. You must also find out your partner’s personal definition is of infidelity. When you’re both clear on the subject with each other, there’s no reason that this should ever become a problem.

The things that can easily fall into this grey area of cheating or not cheating include but aren’t limited to:

Pornography: This can be used to amp up your sex life if it seems to be lagging a bit. Many times viewing pornographic movies or photos together can re-ignite a flame felt to be long dead. However, it may be considered to be cheating if either of you is sneaking around and viewing this type of material alone. Keep that in mind if you feel the need to hide while you view types of porn.

Masturbation: Again, if this is something that you and your partner enjoy on a mutual basis, there’s not an issue. It also shouldn’t be an issue if one of you is indulging in this type of sexual pleasure in addition to mutually satisfying sex with each other. Sometimes it’s not possible or convenient to have sex with your partner and masturbation is certainly an acceptable option. However, if one of you is masturbating IN PLACE of having sex with your partner, then there’s a definite problem when this is preferable to enjoying your partner. In these instances, this could be considered cheating.

A Sexless Marriage:  You may feel that you have an excuse to cheat if your partner has cut you off sexually for a long time. While this is both unfair and unfortunate, it’s still not a reason to cheat. What this requires is either some serious communication and therapy to get to the root of the problem, or a divorce. A sexless marriage is not good for anyone and there’s no reason that anyone should have to endure this.

Those grey areas of cheating don’t have to be classified as infidelity; not if you’re using them as described. If you’re using them badly, it’s time to face the problem head on.