Signs of a Facebook Stalker

When a relationship ends, people tend to go a little crazy. Some go crazy for just a little while, and it may seem that others just lose their minds completely. They have to know everything about what their ex is doing, and one of the easiest places to find out this information is through the social networking site Facebook.

The first place that a Facebook Stalker will head following a breakup is the ex’s Facebook account. These pages will usually give all of the current information that anyone interested could ever want on an ex.

If you find yourself in the situation of having just come out of a relationship, there are ways to tell if you’ve turned into a Facebook Stalker.   You may be if you do you do any of the following:

• Check his Facebook page at least once every hour: If you find yourself checking your ex’s Facebook page more than you check your own, you’ve probably crossed over into Facebook Stalker Land.
• Create a fake Facebook Profile and then send him a friend request: Many times, an ex will de-friend and block you on Facebook because he doesn’t want you reading his Facebook page and finding out what he’s up to. When this happens, if you’re rabid to know what he’s doing, you’ll make up a fake Facebook profile complete with hot pictures that you’ve found online to lure him in. Then you send him a friend request. If you go to all of this trouble following a breakup, you’ve definitely become a Facebook Stalker.
• Get a friend that’s on your ex’s friends list to keep you updated: This means that you know someone who’s on his friend list that will enable you to see what he’s doing even if you’re blocked. This doesn’t hold the same risk of getting caught that creating a fake profile can. Doing it this way just means that you can look over your friend’s shoulder while he or she is visiting your ex’s page but it does make you suspiciously close to being a Facebook Stalker.
• Search all of the comments on your ex’s status updates.  When you do this, you’re most likely checking to see if your ex is possibly seeing anyone else yet or if he’s flirting with anyone. This is only possible if you’re still on his friend list. But you’re spending hours scrolling back into his older comments and updates, this means you’re heading into Facebook Stalker territory.

Those are some of the main symptoms of being a Facebook Stalker but there are certainly many more smaller and less significant ones. Look closely at yourself and your behavior since the breakup happened. Then compare your actions to this list. If you see yourself in any of these symptoms, it’s time to get a grip and move on with your life. Stalking your ex on Facebook isn’t going to make you any happier or make you miss him any less. Let him go and start focusing on your own life.

My Last Girlfriend Was a Lunatic!

How many times have you heard this from guys that you’re newly dating? You know the drill: You meet this really great looking guy that seems to have everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. There are a few dates where you spend time getting to know each other. Eventually, when discussing past relationships, he utters those dreaded words: “My last girlfriend was a lunatic!” Immediately, you go on the alert. The next few minutes just might make or break this budding new relationship.

The first thing you want to do is encourage him to talk. Tell him that you want to hear all about how things went with his last girlfriend and why she was so insane. Now, a man who is actually telling you truth will most likely not be so eager to give you details. In fact, he may try to change the subject so that the conversation now focuses on you.

If you’re feeling little alarm bells going off, though, you need to re-direct the focus back to him and the crazy ex-girlfriend. Ask him questions that he must either answer or say he doesn’t want to talk about the relationship. You can remind him that he really can’t just throw something like that out there and expect you not to want to know more.

Listen to his story and see how you feel about what he’s saying. If the ex was a stalker type, or tended to destroy his things when he walked away, you can offer your sympathy, and move on. He just may be telling you the truth. A good sign that he isn’t exaggerating is if he has some positive things to say about some of his ex-girlfriends with only one psycho in the group.

On the other hand, if every one of his ex-girlfriends were insane, or they cheated on him, or didn’t want to let him go to the point of  acting in the extreme, there may be something else going on here that you don’t want to be a part of. When you meet a guy where EVERY SINGLE ONE of his ex-girlfriends was psychotic or slutty in some way, the problem may not be the ex-girlfriends. The problem may lie within the man.

Ok, so SOME men can have all the bad luck in the world when it comes to women. However, the odds are greater that it’s not always the women.

If there seems to be a pattern in the women that this guy chooses, there can be several reasons for it:

1.  He may actually be a great guy that just cannot read women well.

2.  He may be a magnet for damaged women.

3.  He may just be addicted to the drama that comes along with mentally unstable girlfriends.

Whatever the reason, if this guy seems to have only horrible ex-girlfriends in his past, you may want to cut your losses while you can. Otherwise, you’ll be added to the list of insane girlfriends the next time this guy shares his unhappy past to a new woman.

You Might Be a Stalker If…..

Famous comedian Jeff Foxworthy built a very successful career around a simple, but growing, list of things that might make one a “redneck.” With the growing tendency of people to give into stalking their exes, there can be a list that will warn you as to whether or not you happen to fall into the stalker category.

Consider that this list is a very serious one, albeit, the concept a bit tongue in cheek:

• If you tend to drive by your ex’s place of residence at 3 in the morning to see if a strange car is parked in the driveway, you might be a stalker.
• If you park down the street from where you ex lives and sit there for hours on end watching the house, you might be a stalker.
• If you follow your ex daily to see what he or she is doing and with whom, you might be a stalker.
• If you call your ex at odd hours to see if you get an answer, only to hang up when you do, you might be a stalker.
• If you send gifts constantly to your ex, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you show up at public places or events that you know your ex will be attending all the time, you might be a stalker.
• If you try to visit your ex at work, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you tend to tell everyone that you are engaged to your ex when you know that you are not even dating, you might be a stalker.
• If you refuse to believe or accept that the relationship is over and continue to act as if you and your ex are a couple, you might be a stalker.

As you peruse this list, do try to be honest when it comes to assigning any of these characteristics to either yourself, or someone you care about. Stalking is a very serious action and many people have been hurt through it. Some have even lost their lives. There is help for someone with stalker tendencies but that person must be willing to admit that there is a problem, and that seems to be the most difficult thing of all to do.

Committing even one or two of the acts on the list can put you in the danger zone, but if you said yes to ALL of them, run, don’t walk, to your nearest mental health clinic because help is needed. Answering for someone else means that you may have to do the nudging and pushing for that person to get the help they require because, typically, one of the strongest symptoms of being prone to stalking is denial. If someone does not believe a relationship is over, they do not see the harm in what they are doing.

Stalking is a very serious offense and should be treated as such. While there may be humor injected into the subject, the reality is not funny at all. It needs to be handled as soon as it is identified.