Signs of a Facebook Stalker

When a relationship ends, people tend to go a little crazy. Some go crazy for just a little while, and it may seem that others just lose their minds completely. They have to know everything about what their ex is doing, and one of the easiest places to find out this information is through the social networking site Facebook.

The first place that a Facebook Stalker will head following a breakup is the ex’s Facebook account. These pages will usually give all of the current information that anyone interested could ever want on an ex.

If you find yourself in the situation of having just come out of a relationship, there are ways to tell if you’ve turned into a Facebook Stalker.   You may be if you do you do any of the following:

• Check his Facebook page at least once every hour: If you find yourself checking your ex’s Facebook page more than you check your own, you’ve probably crossed over into Facebook Stalker Land.
• Create a fake Facebook Profile and then send him a friend request: Many times, an ex will de-friend and block you on Facebook because he doesn’t want you reading his Facebook page and finding out what he’s up to. When this happens, if you’re rabid to know what he’s doing, you’ll make up a fake Facebook profile complete with hot pictures that you’ve found online to lure him in. Then you send him a friend request. If you go to all of this trouble following a breakup, you’ve definitely become a Facebook Stalker.
• Get a friend that’s on your ex’s friends list to keep you updated: This means that you know someone who’s on his friend list that will enable you to see what he’s doing even if you’re blocked. This doesn’t hold the same risk of getting caught that creating a fake profile can. Doing it this way just means that you can look over your friend’s shoulder while he or she is visiting your ex’s page but it does make you suspiciously close to being a Facebook Stalker.
• Search all of the comments on your ex’s status updates.  When you do this, you’re most likely checking to see if your ex is possibly seeing anyone else yet or if he’s flirting with anyone. This is only possible if you’re still on his friend list. But you’re spending hours scrolling back into his older comments and updates, this means you’re heading into Facebook Stalker territory.

Those are some of the main symptoms of being a Facebook Stalker but there are certainly many more smaller and less significant ones. Look closely at yourself and your behavior since the breakup happened. Then compare your actions to this list. If you see yourself in any of these symptoms, it’s time to get a grip and move on with your life. Stalking your ex on Facebook isn’t going to make you any happier or make you miss him any less. Let him go and start focusing on your own life.

Dealing With Your Obsession with a Man

The symptoms of obsession are pretty clear to everyone other than the women that are suffering from this disorder. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you think about him constantly?
• Do you call him several times every day?
• Do you stalk his Facebook?
• Are you depressed when you feel that he’s avoiding you?
• When your phone rings and it’s not him, do you hate the person calling?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re definitely obsessed with this guy. It also is very important that you correct this situation before it ruins your life.

The first thing you should know is that being obsessed is NOT normal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Thinking about someone constantly to the point that you’re miserable, there’s a definite problem that has nothing to do with the man but everything to do with you.

It’s toxic to be obsessed for many reasons. You’re putting your entire life on hold when you’re obsessed. This has a huge negative impact on your life overall that you can’t see.

Feeling obsessed over someone usually starts when you know you can’t have this guy. It’s your mind that cannot accept that he’s never going to feel the same way for you that you do for him. This makes you feel bad. To get rid of this feeling, you start doing things that you believe will change the situation. Calling him constantly, stalking him, and spying on him will not do anything except push him even further away.

You should know that it’s not going to be easy to get past these awful feelings. It is hard work and you’re going to have to do it. The reason it’s hard is because you MUST stop doing all of these things because they’re just going to hurt you. Once these feelings start to fade, you’ll feel much better.

When you find yourself leaning towards doing some of those obsessive actions, try making a list of your thoughts. Put on your list things like:

• If I feel like stalking his Facebook, should I?
• How will I feel if I do it?
• If the answer is negative, ask yourself what else you can be doing right now to help yourself?

Then list some possible things that you can be doing like:

• Go for a walk
• Spend time on a hobby
• Work out
• Call a friend
• Play catch up with work
• Walk your dog
• Cook

You put down these ideas or anything else you can think of. Once the list is finished, you’ll have plenty to do to keep you occupied. Do this every time you’re tempted to act out obsessed behaviors.  If you do this for several days in a row, you should have more control of your obsession.

Keep in mind that you’ll still have obsessive thoughts during this time. This will be when you’ll need to decide what you really want to do: Feel better or give into the obsessive behavior that will only make you feel worse.  The only way out of your situation is to choose a positive path.

Is it Love, Lust or a Nervous Breakdown?

David Coverdale of the band Whitesnake sang “Is this love that I’m feeling?” many years ago, and this truly does seem to be the age old question that still doesn’t have a clear cut answer to it. You experience so many of the same emotions when you’re first falling in love as you do when you simply are lusting for someone. It can be next to impossible to determine which you’re feeling until you go ahead and give into your lust only to find out that it burns itself out in a short time.

Actually, in the beginning, you’re most likely not going to know whether you’re falling in love or not.  Both love and lust bring about such reactions as:

• Severe butterflies in the stomach
• Not being able to eat
• Not being able to sleep
• Thinking of nothing else but this new person
• Talking of nothing else but this new person and driving your friends away with your constant chatter on the subject
• Leaping to answer the phone whenever it rings only to hate the person on the other end when it’s not the object of your affection
• Becoming panicked when you don’t hear from your obsession for a full day
• Facebook stalking
• In person stalking
• Finding even the most appalling habit this person has to be cute and endearing

There are more signs, but you get the idea. These are all symptoms of new love, infatuation, lust, or that you’re possibly losing your mind. When you think about it, some of these could very well be signs of a mental illness.

The issue will be trying to figure out just what’s happening to you and whether you should try to get a new relationship off the ground, have sex a few times and then leave, or see your doctor. There are a few helpful hints that might aid you in deciding whether you’re in love or just want to have sex with this person. Then you can make the decision.

First of all, give it a little time to see if your obsession calms down and morphs into something a bit saner. If it does, and you still have favorable feelings and an attraction to this person, chances are you’re on the road to a possible long term relationship. In fact, giving the situation enough time is truly the only way to tell if you’ve found a great person that you’re in love with, or whether you simply were scratching an itch.

A big thing to watch for is if those terrible habits that were so cute before have now begun to appall you, embarrass you and simply irritate you. If this is the case, you probably don’t love this person after all. The biggest sign, however, that you’re ready to move on is when the thought of sex with your former obsession makes you nauseous. When that happens, it’s time to close this particular door and walk away.

Types of Women Men Avoid

Women are very picky about the types of men they will go out with. When they spot one of these types of men, they head in the opposite direction as fast as possible. Therefore, it shouldn’t be surprising that men also have their list of women to avoid like the plague. Why not have a look and see if you fit any of these types?

Smart Asses: These are the women that have an opinion about anything and everything under the sun. Now, while most men do appreciate an intelligent and articulate woman that can offer a lively debate on different matters, they don’t want to feel that they’re in the middle of a rally for a cause all the time. Sadly, these women just can’t help themselves. They MUST spout their opinions in a very loud and vocal manner so that everyone hears them. Men don’t like to be the victims of a verbal assault nor do they like to have their intellectual weaknesses exposed for all the world to see.

Gold Diggers: This is a pretty self-explanatory term and you’ve probably known at least one or two throughout your life. Now, guys know that in the course of wooing a woman, they’re going to have to spend some money. However, with a gold digger, you’re going to find you’re expected to pay for EVERYTHING. You’re also expected to buy them presents, all kinds of expensive presents. If you happen to have some money, these are the women you need to watch out for because they’re only in love with your money and rarely with you. They’re shallow and soulless, and wouldn’t know what love is if they were slapped in the face with it.

Ms. Right: At first, this may sound like the ideal woman so why would any man want to avoid Ms. Right? These aren’t THOSE kinds of “right” women. Rather, they’re the women that truly believe they’re always right about everything under the sun. No matter what the subject, these women know more than anyone else about it and they’re always right, and heaven help you if you dare to disagree with them. Men can only take so much of a woman like this before he’s ready to lose his mind.

Psychos: A lot of men have had issues with this type of woman. These are some scary females. They will plant themselves right in the middle of your life and refuse to go away. Even when you explain to them that you’re not interested in them at all, that only convinces them that they need to try harder to get your attention. Then they start doing some really weird things like stalking you and calling you all the time. Men don’t like this type of woman.

The Rebound: A woman that’s on the rebound can also be a pretty dangerous situation to get involved in. If she’s on the rebound, she’s not ready to be with someone new. There’s a good chance that you’ll end up being hurt when she decides to drop you because you’re not her ex.

Try not to be any of these women. If you see yourself here, you may want to make some changes.

You Might Be a Stalker If…..

Famous comedian Jeff Foxworthy built a very successful career around a simple, but growing, list of things that might make one a “redneck.” With the growing tendency of people to give into stalking their exes, there can be a list that will warn you as to whether or not you happen to fall into the stalker category.

Consider that this list is a very serious one, albeit, the concept a bit tongue in cheek:

• If you tend to drive by your ex’s place of residence at 3 in the morning to see if a strange car is parked in the driveway, you might be a stalker.
• If you park down the street from where you ex lives and sit there for hours on end watching the house, you might be a stalker.
• If you follow your ex daily to see what he or she is doing and with whom, you might be a stalker.
• If you call your ex at odd hours to see if you get an answer, only to hang up when you do, you might be a stalker.
• If you send gifts constantly to your ex, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you show up at public places or events that you know your ex will be attending all the time, you might be a stalker.
• If you try to visit your ex at work, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you tend to tell everyone that you are engaged to your ex when you know that you are not even dating, you might be a stalker.
• If you refuse to believe or accept that the relationship is over and continue to act as if you and your ex are a couple, you might be a stalker.

As you peruse this list, do try to be honest when it comes to assigning any of these characteristics to either yourself, or someone you care about. Stalking is a very serious action and many people have been hurt through it. Some have even lost their lives. There is help for someone with stalker tendencies but that person must be willing to admit that there is a problem, and that seems to be the most difficult thing of all to do.

Committing even one or two of the acts on the list can put you in the danger zone, but if you said yes to ALL of them, run, don’t walk, to your nearest mental health clinic because help is needed. Answering for someone else means that you may have to do the nudging and pushing for that person to get the help they require because, typically, one of the strongest symptoms of being prone to stalking is denial. If someone does not believe a relationship is over, they do not see the harm in what they are doing.

Stalking is a very serious offense and should be treated as such. While there may be humor injected into the subject, the reality is not funny at all. It needs to be handled as soon as it is identified.