Sometimes You Have to Relocate to Find Your True Love

Being gay or lesbian still has a bit of a stigma when you live in certain parts of the country. Small towns are particularly difficult in most locations. In cities and towns that still carry many prejudices, there aren’t a lot of avenues for gay people to connect and form any bonds or relationships with each other. In many cases, when there ARE plenty of gay people in the local population, there are still certain ones that just cannot seem to find that right person for them. This is a very difficult dilemma to be in.

Sometimes the only solution to this problem is to find a new location to move to. It doesn’t have to be very far away from your family and friends. The new place also doesn’t have to be in a big city.  The best thing to do is to settle on a part of the country that you want to live in and then do some research about the gay population and policies in that area. If you find that there’s a decent acceptance of the gay lifestyle, and that there are many groups there that you have something in common with, it may be just the place for you to move to.

Another way to go about deciding on the best place to move is to talk to other friends that live in areas where gay and lesbian people are made to feel comfortable and a part of the community.  If you don’t already know anyone in the particular city you’re thinking of moving to, you can easily meet new people or make new friends via online gay and lesbian dating sites such as AllGayDating.com or AllLesbianDating.com.  These are the best people to fill you in on what you can expect in different areas. When you find the ideal place to move, it’s time to send out some searches for homes to rent or buy and set up everything so that you can go start your new life.

The point in moving is that many times it does take a change of scenery in order to be appreciated. Most of the time, you’ll find that you’re quite popular because you ARE the new person in town. Everyone will want to get to know you and a lot of those people will want to date you. It’s perfectly understandable how this can happen. Once people travel in the same circles over and over again, they get bored with seeing the same people all the time. They need to have new people in their midst so that they can form new connections and have more chances to become romantically involved.

When you move to a new location, seek out people that you have something  in common with and that you feel drawn to. These are the ones that you’ll find that are easier to form relationships with. Once you allow yourself to get to know the people in your new home, it won’t be long before you’ve found the perfect partner for yourself.  Don’t miss out on the chance for a very happy relationship just because you don’t want to move from a certain place. Sometimes that’s just what it takes to find the person you’re meant to be with.

Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

Using an Online Dating Service to Find your Perfect Relationship

There are hundreds of online dating services out there that promise they are the only ones that can find the perfect partner for you. Some use sophisticated algorithms to match compatibility by matching up answers to questions that you answer when you sign up. Others let you search through the database of eligible singles so that you can find your own match. Either way you look at it, online dating services can be quite daunting for the first time user and some might give up before even really trying to find someone.

The one thing you will have to understand about online dating services is that you can be anyone you wish to be online. There is no way for a person to tell if it is actually you that is in that picture or that you are telling the honest truth when answering those thousand-question profile questionnaires. Of course, anyone that is really serious about finding a relationship through an online dating service is going to do their best to be as honest as possible. But how many people can be that honest with themselves let alone some stranger looking at their profile on a dating site?

You need to have a mindset that you will find true love, but not right away when it comes to online dating services. In fact, it could take months before someone you are compatible with stumbles across your profile and decides to contact you.

Then, you have the people who are only looking at pictures for someone specific, the same ones that could never get by meeting them in public because their standards are set way to high. The reality is that you will have to be honest with yourself about the fact that an online dating service may not work for you.

If you keep your head in this reality instead of thinking that you are going to end up with hundreds of responses in the first couple of hours, then you might be in for a surprise when you do start getting responses. You should make sure that you make contact with these people online to begin with. Use the site’s chat system and email system until you are comfortable with the person you are talking to. Never give your personal contact information to anyone that you aren’t completely comfortable with because it could be dangerous.

If you do decide to meet this person, then you need to make sure that it is in the daytime and at a very public place. Never have them meet you at your home or place of work as that just invites trouble later on if it doesn’t work out. Be responsible and think carefully before going out with someone online for the first time. If they are serious about this relationship, then they will understand why you are being careful and will be more than happy to play along with the idea while the two of you become better acquainted with each other.

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Make Your Lesbian Relationship Work

Some women find that being in a lesbian relationship is one of the hardest things they’ve ever attempted. For others, it’s pretty simple and natural. In reality, if you’ve come out of the closet or are still hiding in that far back corner of it, it doesn’t matter. The basics are still the same as with a relationship between a straight couple.

A lesbian relationship still involves 2 people with 2 different personalities. Lesbians don’t just hold hands or do baking together. Just because you’re a lesbian, it won’t increase or decrease your chances of being hurt, feeling depressed or being affected by affairs.

That’s right; a lesbian relationship is a lot like a straight one. The one thing that’s different is society’s pressure on the gay community overall. Granted, straight couples don’t have to endure that unless they’re biracial. A lesbian relationship has ups and downs, just as a straight one does. These are dealt with similarly.

To begin with, it’s not easy being a lesbian. In fact, there are some countries that even ban gay relationships altogether. In the countries that are more democratic, lesbian couples are still fighting for their rights. So, if you and your partner happen to reside in a country that outlaws a public show of affection between gay couples, don’t push this particular envelope. It’s only going to hurt your feelings when you reach for your lover’s hand and she rejects it. That will cause an issue in the relationship.

Many times when your relationship is still new, it’s easy to forget that you’re not the only ones in love on the planet. You can’t get enough of each other. However, eventually that excessive fire is going to burn out a bit and you’ll feel more comfortable than excited with each other. Keep some of that spark alive or you’ll risk becoming bored in your relationship.

Don’t treat your lover as if she’s your best friend only. Treat her romantically as you would your true love. This keeps the love alive as well as the spark.

You and your girlfriend should not withdraw from society on a whole. Don’t try to make the world believe that lesbians are exclusive. Go out and meet other people of all persuasions. Socialize with straight and bisexual people as well as other lesbians. This adds a bit of newness to the relationship and will also work to keep the excitement alive between the 2 of you. Getting out and having fun together with others goes a long way to keeping the relationship fun.

Last, but not least, you and your partner should both have the freedom to be yourselves. Don’t try to change each other. There was something about her that attracted you to your girlfriend initially, and she to you. Why would you want to change any of that? You each need some space for your own personal life as well. In the end, it doesn’t matter how many more gorgeous women are in the world. You and she have committed to each other and that’s what is important.

Is It Love? Or Lust?

Love or Lust?

When you get involved with someone it is often hard to tell in the beginning if you are infatuated with them or if you are in fact falling in love with them. One reason this is so difficult to discern is because many of the signs of love and infatuation are pretty close to the same. It is not until some time has passed that you can really tell the difference and by then it is often too late to do much about it.

When you first meet a person you may feel drawn to that person. This is often defined as being attracted to someone. The more you talk to this person the more drawn you feel making you want to spend more time with them. The more time you spend together the stronger this connection becomes. This is where you have to be careful because things can get kind of confusing at this point.

At this point you may find that you have trouble going to sleep at night or you are not really interested in eating much. For that matter very few things interest you if they do not involve the person that you have suddenly found yourself so attracted to. While this is technically referred to as being lovesick this does not necessarily mean that you are in love.

When you reach this stage you often find yourself jumping when the phone rings hoping it is your ‘other half’ and feeling huge disappointment when you discover that it isn’t. This is fairly normal in new relationships and doesn’t really give you a definitive answer either way on whether it is love or lust.

During this time you find yourself forever checking your appearance making sure everything is perfect when you know you are going to see this other person. When you are at this stage of a relationship you think everything about each other is perfect and the conversation never stops. You never get tired of spending time together and find that you just can’t seem to keep your hands to yourselves.

Even at this point it is often difficult to tell the difference between true love and lust. But after a couple of months the answers begin to become a little clearer. It is at this time that the ‘newness’ begins to wear off of the relationship. You begin to notice that you can tolerate being apart more than before. This does not necessarily mean that you are not in love but it does mean that the relationship is not as intense as it was in the beginning.

Now is when you will start to be able to tell the difference between love and lust. If your relationship has progressed to this point yet you still want to spend time with each other this is a good sign that it might be more than just a fleeting infatuation. The important thing is that you allow the relationship to get to this point before getting carried away to the point that you are already making wedding plans. Don’t rush it, and let the relationship flourish naturally before you make any long term commitments.