The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone

Typically, you can tell when you’re in a relationship that’s really going nowhere, and you can feel when you’re ready to end that relationship. While it’s always good to know where you stand, it’s also wise to realize when the time of the break up is not right. Obviously, breaking up is never going to be easy, but you can make it even worse by choosing the wrong time to end a relationship.

For instance, birthdays are TERRIBLE times to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE his birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose the day before, of, or the day after his birthday to break up, it will always leave a bad feeling with him. Every birthday is going to remind him that his relationship ended at that time. So, if you can manage it, time the break up so that it’s a decent amount of time on either side of his birthday and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.

Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining it for him for a very long time, if not forever. That’s why knowing when you’re ready to leave a relationship is a good thing as you can time the break up for a day that doesn’t mean anything to either of you.

Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that this particular holiday may never be enjoyable again if the break up is pretty bad.  Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money because you most likely won’t be buying gifts for each other. In addition, the holidays just turn into very sad occasions when a relationship ends during them. This is true of the days immediately before and after them.

The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow him well into the future. You should be kind about the timing of your break up.

The exception to this rule is if your about to be ex is cheating on you and you just found out, or he’s done something even more horrendous. In cases such as those, he DESERVES to be miserable for future special days.

Reinventing Yourself to Get Your Ex Back

Breaking up with someone, or them breaking up with you, can be one of the most devastatingly painful events in anyone’s life. There’s no getting around the fact that it hurts, especially if you’re the one that didn’t want it to end. Those relationship breakups that are mutual are actually quite rare, and, most likely, your breakup wasn’t one of these.

You’re probably lying around crying and moping and trying to figure out how to invent a time machine so that you can go back in time and have everything like it used to be. Don’t waste your time and energy on this. Instead, sit up, dry your eyes, wash off your face and get ready to work. You’re going to reinvent yourself so that you can entice your ex back into your arms.

Before you even ask, yes it IS possible to do this even if he’s with someone else. In fact, that’s even better because, then, you can look at her and see what sort of woman he’s left you for. Then take a good long look in the mirror and see what you need to do to make yourself new and improved.

A lot of people get sloppy and unkempt once they’ve been in a relationship for a while. It’s like they get too comfortable and forget to be sexy and attractive for their partner. This is a definite relationship killer. Even if your partner loves you, chances are that he’s not going to love seeing you sitting around with a green face mask on or wandering around the house with your hair unwashed and no makeup.

Do you need to lose a few pounds or simply tone up your body a bit? If so, put yourself on a healthy diet and start working out. That’s not as hard as it sounds, either. You can start off by walking or riding a bicycle, either real or stationary. Just get in some activity so that your muscles can tighten up.

Change your hairstyle and/or color. If you think back, he probably always said there was a color or style that he either liked on you or wanted to see you in. Take advantage of that knowledge and get it done. The next time he sets eyes on you, this will be the hair style and color that he sees.

Take a good look at your wardrobe. Get rid of those sloppy old clothes that, while comfortable, never really did anything flattering for you. If they’re not in your closet, you won’t be tempted to wear them. You can find comfortable lounging clothes that are also sexy and attractive. Your goal is to become well-dressed no matter what the occasion.

Learn to cook the favorite dishes that you never “had time” to mess with in the past. You can bet his new girlfriend is cooking for him often and offering dessert in a way you probably never did. This will have you ready for the first new dinner you cook for him.

All of this time you should have been cutting off all communication with him. Now that you’re ready, the new and improved you should make it a point to “run into him” at a place you know he’ll be. Dazzle him with the new you but don’t be too obvious.  After all, pursuit is half the fun so let him think HE’S winning YOU back.

For more coaching on how to get your ex back, The M3 System is a great resource – if you think you might need some additional help to succeed in getting your ex back, be sure to check out our M3 System review.

Moping Around Over Your Ex Gets You Nowhere

The breakup of a relationship can be one of the most devastating experiences in anyone’s life. It’s painful and it’s hard to get over. You’re upset and hurt and may even feel that you’ll never meet anyone else again as long as you live. You mope around the house all day and night, crying and remembering all the special times you had together. Your friends and family members may be starting to avoid you if your depressing and negative mood is beginning to wear thin on them.

The first thing you’re going to have to do is snap out of it. Yes, this sounds a lot easier said than done, but if you spend all of your time and energy focusing on being depressed over the breakup or wishing and praying that you’ll get back together, you’ll never be able to move forward in your life. Before you start shaking your head, it’s imperative that you understand something. If your ex wanted the breakup, there was a reason for it. He may even already be involved with someone else. Whatever the reason, odds are against it being the passionate reunion scene that you’re probably playing out in your head over and over again. That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen in a small number of cases and in the movies. It’s just meant to jog you into reality.

While you don’t really want to jump into a rebound situation, there’s certainly no reason for you not to get out there and have some fun. The absolute worst thing you can do is to sit at home and dwell on how unhappy you are. There’s nothing to be gained from this at all. While you’re sitting at home and being depressed over something that isn’t going to be yours again, life is simply passing you by.

If you’re not out making a concerted effort to improve the circumstances of your romantic life, then you’re basically stomping your feet in a mud puddle. You’re not happy, but you’re not moving forward, either. There are things you need to be doing to help yourself feel better.

Go out with friends. You can even go out alone. Stay away from places that will remind you of your ex. Find some new places to love. Don’t keep listening to all of “your songs.”  Again, open the door to some new favorite music that won’t remind you of your ex. Get rid of pictures, letters, or gifts that are associated with your ex. If you don’t want to throw them away, at least pack them up, so they’re not in your sight any longer. You can also give them to a trusted friend to hold onto for them.

Make yourself do these things or you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. Most likely your ex has moved on. You deserve to be able to do that as well and have a life. So please stop moping and move forward into a happier life.

Breaking Up Can Be Easy

Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many, if not most, are simply stepping stones to the happily ever after relationship that you’ll enjoy at the right time in your life. Admittedly, a lot of break ups are messy and hurt a lot. However, they don’t always have to be that way. This is especially true if the couples involved can see that their relationship has most likely run its course.

Rather than force it and try to resuscitate a dying relationship, it’s usually better to part ways with as much respect for each other as possible. If you stay too long, it will only get worse and you’ll leave hating someone that your sun once set upon.

The first thing to do in a flagging relationship is to gauge just how bad things are and decide if there’s a chance to repair any damage that’s been done. If the answer is yes, then your next step is to begin what you need to do to get things back on track. Many times a relationship can just derail for some reason and there’s still hope that it can be put back together. You and your partner need to decide if that’s the case with your relationship.

The next thing you need to decide is whether or not you care enough to put the effort, energy and work needed to repair your relationship. Believe it or not, sometimes you just fall out of love with someone. It’s not something that either of you did. It’s just something that is. This is another of those cases where you don’t resuscitate it if it’s truly dead. Neither of you will get anything positive from this. Part as friends while you still can.

Sometimes the actions of a partner can lead you to the decision of ending the relationship. This can be many things:

• Some partners pack up and leave every time there’s an argument. Of course, they always come back but, seriously, who wants to go through that all the time?
• Others are abusive in different ways, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional or verbal. No one deserves to have to put up with that.
• Then there are the partners that just can’t seem to stop cheating. Obviously, then, you and your relationship aren’t very important to your partner.

Actually, any or all of these actions that are performed repeatedly can erode any feelings of love that you thought you had for this person. Believe it or not, their actions are helping you to make a hard decision that much easier.

Breakups can be easy once you realize that’s what needs to happen. In fact, that can sometimes be all that you need to find the words to say and the strength to walk away. Depending on the reasons for the breakup, it may even be possible to remain friends, or to become friends at some point in the future. Many times you have to follow your head rather than your heart because your head usually knows what you have to do. All you need to do is just listen to what it’s telling you.

Dealing With Your Obsession with a Man

The symptoms of obsession are pretty clear to everyone other than the women that are suffering from this disorder. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you think about him constantly?
• Do you call him several times every day?
• Do you stalk his Facebook?
• Are you depressed when you feel that he’s avoiding you?
• When your phone rings and it’s not him, do you hate the person calling?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re definitely obsessed with this guy. It also is very important that you correct this situation before it ruins your life.

The first thing you should know is that being obsessed is NOT normal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Thinking about someone constantly to the point that you’re miserable, there’s a definite problem that has nothing to do with the man but everything to do with you.

It’s toxic to be obsessed for many reasons. You’re putting your entire life on hold when you’re obsessed. This has a huge negative impact on your life overall that you can’t see.

Feeling obsessed over someone usually starts when you know you can’t have this guy. It’s your mind that cannot accept that he’s never going to feel the same way for you that you do for him. This makes you feel bad. To get rid of this feeling, you start doing things that you believe will change the situation. Calling him constantly, stalking him, and spying on him will not do anything except push him even further away.

You should know that it’s not going to be easy to get past these awful feelings. It is hard work and you’re going to have to do it. The reason it’s hard is because you MUST stop doing all of these things because they’re just going to hurt you. Once these feelings start to fade, you’ll feel much better.

When you find yourself leaning towards doing some of those obsessive actions, try making a list of your thoughts. Put on your list things like:

• If I feel like stalking his Facebook, should I?
• How will I feel if I do it?
• If the answer is negative, ask yourself what else you can be doing right now to help yourself?

Then list some possible things that you can be doing like:

• Go for a walk
• Spend time on a hobby
• Work out
• Call a friend
• Play catch up with work
• Walk your dog
• Cook

You put down these ideas or anything else you can think of. Once the list is finished, you’ll have plenty to do to keep you occupied. Do this every time you’re tempted to act out obsessed behaviors.  If you do this for several days in a row, you should have more control of your obsession.

Keep in mind that you’ll still have obsessive thoughts during this time. This will be when you’ll need to decide what you really want to do: Feel better or give into the obsessive behavior that will only make you feel worse.  The only way out of your situation is to choose a positive path.

Is it Wrong to Hook up with your Best friends Ex?

Many couples today aren’t exactly solid when they get together. In fact, more of them break up than stay together. The interesting phenomenon that seems to be forming from all of this breaking up is the pairing of best friends and their exes.

The most recent of these to be in the public eye is that of singer Shania Twain. Her very best friend was having an affair with Shania’s husband while she was still friends with Shania. When it all came out, eventually Shania ended up married to her ex-best friend’s former husband. He and Shania basically consoled each other right into a full blown relationship. Shania went through a bad time but came out on the other side a whole new woman. Incidentally, she and her former friend are no longer keeping company at all.

That’s a bit of an extreme situation even in Celebrity Land, but it’s much more common than people think that exes and best friends hook up. The question is whether or not this is the best idea. Granted, each situation is unique so obviously you can’t say that there’s a right or wrong answer to this question across the board. However, as a general rule it’s a bad idea to do hook up with your best friend’s ex.

Think of it in terms of privacy, first of all. Once your best friend has been dating and probably having sex with someone, you probably know all sorts of personal things about this person since best friends tend to talk to each other about most things. There’s a bit of an “ick factor” to that and it may, or may not bother you. But it’s still something to think about. Do you really want to be where your friend has been?

Then there are the inevitable comparisons between you and your friend that the ex can’t help but draw. You may even experience that unhappy situation when the ex calls you by your friend’s name at a very inopportune moment. Nothing is going to make THAT any better.

Another consideration is what sort of terms did your friend and the ex part on? Did they part as friends or was it an ugly battle? This is something that you have to think about seriously because if you decide to hook up with the ex, it may cause a massive rift between you and your friend. That’s when you’ll need to figure out just how much the friendship means to you. If it means that you’re going to lose a good friend if you take on the ex, will it be worth it?  That’s what you really need decide before going any further with a possible relationship.

On the other hand, if your friend tells you that it’s perfectly ok for you to form a connection with the ex, and you’re POSITIVE it really IS ok, there’s no reason for you not to go ahead with things. If you don’t, you may always have that “what if” question floating around in your head.

Use the No Talking Rule to Get Your Ex Back

After the end of a relationship, your top goal may be to get your ex back. In case he hasn’t found anyone else, you’ll probably also try to stay close so that doesn’t happen. Now, this will keep you at the forefront of his mind, but it won’t be in the way you want it to be.

He’s going to be annoyed that you constantly follow him around or keep calling or texting him. That’s why you’re going to need to learn about the no talking rule and how to use it to your advantage.

The thing you need to realize is that your ex has been using this no talking rule with regard to you ever since he broke up with you. No doubt, he hasn’t been taking your calls, or replying to your texts or emails. This is to ensure that he doesn’t have to deal with the indignity of your crying and begging. No one really wants to have to listen to that and it won’t endear you to him.

Consider how his ignoring you is making you feel. It’s probably making you a bit crazy because it only makes you want him more. This is something that can work both ways. You can make him want you back simply by sticking to the no talking rule. However, you’ll need the strength, willpower and discipline to follow it.

Your ex isn’t having any trouble ignoring you because he’s either angry or hurt over the breakup and just really doesn’t want to talk to you at the moment. You, on the other hand, desperately want him back, so it will be more difficult for you to not try to contact him. But if you keep the main goal firmly in mind, which is to get your ex back, it might make it easier for you to stick to your guns.

Now, don’t think you can do this for only a few days and expect him to return to you with open arms. You’ll need lots of patience to stay away from him until he starts to miss you. This will be well worth the effort once you have him firmly back in your grasp and professing his love for you again. That’s why you must give this no talking rule time to take effect.

It may not be as hard as you think because many times your ex may already be sorry about the breakup and just not wanting to admit it. You’ll push that feeling a bit more when you do things like completely deleting him from your FaceBook page, changing your phone number and not replying to any emails that he might send.

All you want to do is remove yourself from his life for as long as it takes to miss you. He’ll also start to believe that you’ve moved on and HE will start fearing that he’s lost you forever. Men tend to love more from a distance. Once you achieve that distance, he’ll love you once again.

If you found this tip helpful, you might also want to check out the M3 System for coaching and a complete game plan to help you get your ex back.

You Might Be a Stalker If…..

Famous comedian Jeff Foxworthy built a very successful career around a simple, but growing, list of things that might make one a “redneck.” With the growing tendency of people to give into stalking their exes, there can be a list that will warn you as to whether or not you happen to fall into the stalker category.

Consider that this list is a very serious one, albeit, the concept a bit tongue in cheek:

• If you tend to drive by your ex’s place of residence at 3 in the morning to see if a strange car is parked in the driveway, you might be a stalker.
• If you park down the street from where you ex lives and sit there for hours on end watching the house, you might be a stalker.
• If you follow your ex daily to see what he or she is doing and with whom, you might be a stalker.
• If you call your ex at odd hours to see if you get an answer, only to hang up when you do, you might be a stalker.
• If you send gifts constantly to your ex, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you show up at public places or events that you know your ex will be attending all the time, you might be a stalker.
• If you try to visit your ex at work, even though you have been asked to stop, you might be a stalker.
• If you tend to tell everyone that you are engaged to your ex when you know that you are not even dating, you might be a stalker.
• If you refuse to believe or accept that the relationship is over and continue to act as if you and your ex are a couple, you might be a stalker.

As you peruse this list, do try to be honest when it comes to assigning any of these characteristics to either yourself, or someone you care about. Stalking is a very serious action and many people have been hurt through it. Some have even lost their lives. There is help for someone with stalker tendencies but that person must be willing to admit that there is a problem, and that seems to be the most difficult thing of all to do.

Committing even one or two of the acts on the list can put you in the danger zone, but if you said yes to ALL of them, run, don’t walk, to your nearest mental health clinic because help is needed. Answering for someone else means that you may have to do the nudging and pushing for that person to get the help they require because, typically, one of the strongest symptoms of being prone to stalking is denial. If someone does not believe a relationship is over, they do not see the harm in what they are doing.

Stalking is a very serious offense and should be treated as such. While there may be humor injected into the subject, the reality is not funny at all. It needs to be handled as soon as it is identified.

Avoiding A Love Break Up

If you’ve ever had your love break up you know how painful it is. And if you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn’t recognize before. If you’ll remember those signs and keep them in mind, they can help you prevent a break up in the future. And they can also help you get back together after a split.
Read more

Breaking Up – Signs That It's Time To Leave

In every relationship we are faced with a point where we have to choose between trying to make it work and just walking away. It is usually a difficult decision and not a very obvious one. Ending a relationship is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary. So, how can a person know if staying or leaving is the best choice? It takes a lot of introspective thinking and a basic look at the facts.

There are some things that should be taken as an immediate sign to leave a relationship:

• If you are being abused in any way or if you are being treated badly in any way then leaving the relationship is the best decision. If you are being physically abused it can be very hard to leave so it is best to seek the assistance of a professional who can make leaving easier.

Now, for those who are not in a bad relationship, the decision between staying and leaving is not so cut and dry. There are some things you can look for, though, that can be good indicators that it is time to leave:

• If you begin to feel physically worn out about dealing with the relationship then it is probably no longer worth fighting or trying for. This is usually an indicator that you are working too hard and the other person is not working at all. Basically, this means the other person has already given up.
• If you feel that you are always giving and never receiving. If you can’t seem to figure out the other person’s true feelings about you then it’s obvious they aren’t too concerned about you or else they would have made them clear. You deserve to have someone who shares your feelings.
• If you start to think of yourself as a single person or start to imagine what you would do as a single person. You have already made the decision in your mind. You just need to accept it and realize your relationship is over.
• If you can no longer communicate with each other. Once communication becomes an issue the relationship doesn’t have a fighting chance. A relationship needs communication or else it is dead in the water.

These things are all good indications that a relationship is over, but if you and your partner still have feelings for each other and can still communicate then you have a fighting chance at making things work. It may be a good indicator that you should stay and try to work through your relationship.

Sometimes it can be scary to give up a relationship, but if there are no indications that it can be saved and that both people are willing to work on saving it then it is wise to walk away.

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