Is There Really Someone for Everyone?

Something that keeps many single people hopeful is the belief that there’s someone in the world for everyone.  This may or may not be true depending on the type of person you’re looking for and what you want to have with this person. So, in actuality, it’s this part that decides if there’s a match for everyone in the world that wants one. It all comes down to what you want to have with another person.

The easiest of all connections is the one night stand. Just about any decent looking person can score one of these. Usually, these happen just because a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. You get all dressed up and hit some of the more crowded and popular “meet markets.” That’s where you’ll find other people just like you that are looking for those few minutes or few hours of physical intimacy with someone else. This is pretty simple to make happen. The downside of it is that for many people it turns out to be less than fulfilling. In fact, it can actually only make that emptiness inside of you that much more lonely. For others, though, it does the trick until the next time the itch starts.

The next type of connection that may be the simplest to achieve is the person for dating and casual sex. This one is better than the one night stand but doesn’t require a commitment from either party. These are two people that like a lot of the same things and are attracted to each other sexually. While this may sound a lot like the beginning of a real relationship, it can actually be the result of a good friendship. This is all some people require to be happy.

Then, there’s the relationship where a couple are in love and live together with no intentions of getting married. These couples can be either monogamous or have an open style relationship. This type of relationship is becoming more popular in recent times for many reasons.

Then, there’s the traditional relationship where a couple is in love with each other and choose to follow the approach of actually getting married. This relationship is a lot more difficult to have than the other ones because it’s much more serious. In a marriage, two people are committing to each other and making some pretty strong promises to each other in the process. They’re promising not to be with anyone else and to stay together in good times and bad times until death parts them. This is the ultimate goal of many single people and is the hardest to attain, yet it CAN be done.

One last type of relationship, and not too common, is the trial relationship. A ceremony is conducted that binds a couple together for a certain time period, usually one year. If, at the end of that time, they want to enter into a traditional marriage, that’s what will happen. If they’ve decided it’s not what they wanted, they can part ways peacefully.

So, all in all, there just may be someone for everyone in the world. It just comes down to what you’re looking for.

Dating and Pets

You’ve probably heard the expression “Love me, love my dog” before. However, you probably never gave a lot of thought as to what it actually means, or if you did, you most likely laughed a bit. This can be deadly serious, though, when it comes to dating if you have a pet. Not everyone is meant to be around animals and if animal lovers happen to hook up with those that aren’t crazy about pets, the fireworks that shoot into the air will not be the GOOD kind.

To begin with, you may have a dog or cat, or maybe more than one, living with you. These are your BABIES. True animal lovers really enjoy their pets and, truth be told, they feel as if these pets are more like family members than simply animals. The bond between animals and their owners is one of the most special that you’ll find anywhere. It’s a very beautiful and precious connection and should be viewed as such.

The problem comes about when a single animal lover is trying to find a romantic prospect and hooks up with someone that simply despises animals or is deathly afraid of them for some reason. It gets even worse when the two people are truly attracted to each other because this means that there are some choices to be made. The thing is that the animal lover isn’t going to give up his or her family member for someone that he or she just met.

It’s better to forego those incidents and get started off on the right foot with someone that loves animals as much as you do. This is not as difficult to do as you may think, either. You can find out how someone feels about animals simply by asking during the first conversation you have with someone that you’re interested in knowing better. That’s certainly safer than waiting until you’re ready to go out on that first date to find out that your new romantic prospect cannot stand your little dog Daisy, or your sweet tabby cat Cherry.

That first conversation where you find out all of the important things about each other is the one where you work in your love for your pets and find out how he or she feels about animals. Ask if he or she has any pets and that’s all you’ll have to do to find out what you need to know. If the answer is positive, then you know that you’ll be able to pursue something wonderful with this person. Maybe there will be play dates in the future for your pets and theirs. It may even turn into a Brady Bunch with you, your new partner and your mixture of six dogs and cats.

It’s not only a pipe dream. It can turn into a reality as long as you meet the right person. If you love animals, there’s no need to even try forming a relationship with someone that doesn’t share your love for animals. Look for suitable partners at the vet’s office, pet shows and exercise parks for animals. That’s where you’ll find the love of your life.

Commitment-Phobic Men

So many men these days tend to have serious commitment issues. These men have no issues with dating one woman for a while. They may even take over a drawer in your dresser and leave a toothbrush and razor in your bathroom. Then, one day, you decide that it may be a great idea if he just moves in with you, but when you bring it up, his response is that he feels that maybe the two of you are moving too quickly. He feels that you two need to take a break and see other people for a while.

This can mean a couple of different things. He may have already met someone else that he’s interested in dating and was just waiting for a time to tell you. However, when you brought up the moving in thing, it gave him the perfect opportunity to put the brakes on things with you and move on to the next one.

Something else it can mean is that he’s horribly commitment shy and he sees moving in together as a commitment of sorts. He probably feels that while it’s not marriage, it may be a stepping stone to that much more serious commitment. In this case, there’s nothing you could have done that was going to make this connection turn into a true relationship. You’ve hit on one of his true fears or phobias just by inviting him to move in with you.

Chances are, with either of these scenarios, you’ll most likely never hear from him or see him again. He’s going to get as far away from you as possible because you’ve made it clear in a subtle way that you expect something from him that he’s not prepared to give. He’s certainly not ready now, with you, and he may never be ready to make a serious commitment in his entire life.

There are many men that don’t ever plan on getting married and they’re happy to be lifelong bachelors. Single women would do well to steer clear of them because no matter what they may think, they’ll most likely not be playing Annette Benning to their Warren Beatty. The best thing that you can do when you first meet a man that you find fascinating is to subtly find out what his views are on marriage and commitment. If you’re the marrying type and he’s not, you’ll want to move on quickly and not invest any time or emotion into this man. He’s only going to break your heart.

On the other hand, if you’re a bit commitment phobic yourself, these are the perfect men for you to get involved with. You’ll both have lots of fun and probably amazing sex, and then you’ll move on when the novelty wears off.  Only you can decide whether you must have a solid commitment from someone or not, but hopefully, this is a decision you make before you start dating him. In that way, you can both avoid a lot of hurt and guilt feelings.

Opposites Really DO Attract

Several years, singer/dancer/choreographer and American Idol judge, Paula Abdul had a little hit song called “Opposites Attract.”  The whimsical video that was filmed for the song showed Paula as being in love with a cartoon animal, thus the theme of opposites being attracted to each other. It was all very cute and the song was very popular. However, there was a much deeper meaning rooted in this song and it carried a very real truth.

This truth is that people with opposite personality types can, and do, attract each other all the time. Not only that, but these relationships seem to be some of the most successful ones on record. What does this say about the theory that all couples should have many things in common?  Actually, it doesn’t  say anything at all about that. Rather, this shows that people of different personality types can complement each other by tempering the more radical parts of their partner’s personality as well as livening up the more sedate and even boring portions. That’s when it works the best.

Obviously, commonality is a huge factor when it comes to making a relationship work out successfully. When people have some things in common, they’ll always have something to talk about and do together. It gives them a chance to bond over something and that connection will always be there. However, there’s also the matter of a couple having TOO much in common with each other. That’s when opposites can make for a much livelier and more interesting relationship.

Couples with opposite personalities can many times enjoy much more active relationships with each other than if they had a lot of things in common. Sometimes it takes just the right amount of commonality and differences to make a relationship all it should be.

However, there can be some couples that really are so opposite that it’s amazing that they ever got together in the first place. Yet, you can tell just how happy they are in the way they look at and interact each other. They’re clearly perfect with each other.

That’s why you should never discount someone just because they don’t think exactly the way you do. They may actually provide the fodder for lively debates between you. Words can be some of the strongest and most effective foreplay that you’ll find anywhere, and when you’re forced into using them, you may find that this person who is nothing like you is one of the most exciting people you’ve ever met in your life. Let that feeling take hold and use the mental stimulation you get from arguing your point of view.

That can be just the beginning for you and your new friend. When you allow yourself to think outside of the box and let this new person into your life, it may be one of the most amazing events you’ve ever experienced. Enjoy your encounter with this opposite personality and see where it takes you. It’s very possible that this is the person meant to take you down the path you’ve always wanted to travel.

How to Have a Successful Long Term Relationship

A lot of people go into a new dating relationship with the hope that it will become something wonderful and last long term. They may even want it to grow into a marriage where they will start their own family. If you’re someone that’s looking for a long term relationship, there are ways that you can turn this exciting new dating relationship into just that. You just have to know how to go about turning this new relationship into something deeper and more evolved.

First of all, don’t let the excitement and newness of your relationship wear off. You know how exciting everything is when you first start dating someone new. Everything sets off sparks at first: The first time your hands touch, or your first hug, and definitely that first kiss. While you’re most likely simply infatuated with each other during this time, it’s still a white-hot phase during the relationship.  You love being together all the time and you just can’t get enough of each other.

This can be so consuming that it may not be totally healthy and you certainly can’t keep the feeling going like this forever. You would both be like meteors heading toward earth and burning out on the way. However, this is the easy part of relationships. The work comes in when you want to make it last.

Although the first stage of dating is wonderful, the next level can be even better. This is when you know each other better and your connection has solidified into something that’s very meaningful. Now it’s time to see where the relationship will go. Ask each other important questions such as : Do you both want to get married? Do you both want to have kids? Can you agree on where to live? What things do you have in common? These are all the important questions that must be answered before the relationship should go any further. You certainly don’t want to wait until you’re married to find out that you don’t agree on any of those things.

When the questions have been asked and answered, it’s time to start talking about where you want things to go next. Obviously, it’s not a good idea to rush into things. Taking the time to really get to know each other is the best way to ensure that you’re on the right path. There’s a lot to be said for long engagements even when the first thing you may want to do is marry this person. If you’re meant for each other, don’t worry because you’ll still want to get married a year later.

The only thing you need to do once you have found your soul mate is to make sure that the excitement stays in the relationship. Always have time for each other no matter what else is going on in your life. It’s also a great idea to have some time together as an official couple before bringing children into the mix. They’re wonderful little bundles of joy but they can put a huge damper on the romance in your relationship. So go slow and know what the two of you want as a couple.

When is it Time to Throw in the Towel in a Relationship?

Too many people try to stay together when it’s clear to both parties that there’s nothing between them any longer. The reasons for this are many and varied. It could be that they don’t want people to know they failed, or they can’t stand the idea of failing themselves.

Time invested in the relationship can be another issue. If you’ve been with someone for 10 years or more, then you probably hate to think that you’ve wasted so many years of your life with someone that you’re not going to end up with forever, after all.

No matter what the reasons are that you’re hanging on to a dead relationship, you need to seriously consider whether or not it’s time to throw in the towel and walk away. Many times, the relationship may not be dead. It just may be in a coma and you need to find ways to revive it. As many of the signs for a comatose relationship and a dead relationship can appear to be the same at first, you’ll need to spend some time in assessing your relationship to see which category it falls into.

If you and your partner just aren’t connecting any longer, it may be time to see if the spark can be reignited before instantly assuming that you’re not in love anymore. It simply may be time to “test” the relationship a bit to see whether it can be salvaged or not. You may be shocked to find out that there’s a lot of love still there.

Your check list for whether or not your relationship is over includes:

• Do you still get that little jolt of happiness when you see your partner after having been apart, or is it a feeling of dread that lies in the pit of your stomach?
• Do you miss your partner when you’re away from each other, or is it a time of relief and relaxation for you?
• Do you have actual conversations about things other than the weather, bills, or the kids?
• Do the two of you make plans to do romantic things together?
• Is sex still fun or is it a chore?
• Do you still feel a positive connection to each other that’s almost spiritual in nature, or do you simply tolerate each other?
• Have either or both of you developed a wandering eye when you should be focused on each other?
• Have either of you cheated?
• How do you feel when you think about being without your partner forever?

As you move down this list, answer these questions as honestly as possible. It’s important that your answers are truthful. Otherwise, this exercise won’t work. Your answers will be very “telling” as to whether or not your relationship is over or simply needs a bit of work to get it back on track. Whatever your decision is, you need to be committed to following it through for the sake of both of you. It’s the only way to reclaim personal happiness.