When is it Time to Throw in the Towel in a Relationship?

Too many people try to stay together when it’s clear to both parties that there’s nothing between them any longer. The reasons for this are many and varied. It could be that they don’t want people to know they failed, or they can’t stand the idea of failing themselves.

Time invested in the relationship can be another issue. If you’ve been with someone for 10 years or more, then you probably hate to think that you’ve wasted so many years of your life with someone that you’re not going to end up with forever, after all.

No matter what the reasons are that you’re hanging on to a dead relationship, you need to seriously consider whether or not it’s time to throw in the towel and walk away. Many times, the relationship may not be dead. It just may be in a coma and you need to find ways to revive it. As many of the signs for a comatose relationship and a dead relationship can appear to be the same at first, you’ll need to spend some time in assessing your relationship to see which category it falls into.

If you and your partner just aren’t connecting any longer, it may be time to see if the spark can be reignited before instantly assuming that you’re not in love anymore. It simply may be time to “test” the relationship a bit to see whether it can be salvaged or not. You may be shocked to find out that there’s a lot of love still there.

Your check list for whether or not your relationship is over includes:

• Do you still get that little jolt of happiness when you see your partner after having been apart, or is it a feeling of dread that lies in the pit of your stomach?
• Do you miss your partner when you’re away from each other, or is it a time of relief and relaxation for you?
• Do you have actual conversations about things other than the weather, bills, or the kids?
• Do the two of you make plans to do romantic things together?
• Is sex still fun or is it a chore?
• Do you still feel a positive connection to each other that’s almost spiritual in nature, or do you simply tolerate each other?
• Have either or both of you developed a wandering eye when you should be focused on each other?
• Have either of you cheated?
• How do you feel when you think about being without your partner forever?

As you move down this list, answer these questions as honestly as possible. It’s important that your answers are truthful. Otherwise, this exercise won’t work. Your answers will be very “telling” as to whether or not your relationship is over or simply needs a bit of work to get it back on track. Whatever your decision is, you need to be committed to following it through for the sake of both of you. It’s the only way to reclaim personal happiness.