Climbing Out of the Relationship Rut

One of the most damaging things when it comes to a relationship is when it’s allowed to sink into a rut. Nothing kills passion and interest faster than a boring routine. It doesn’t have to be the Kiss of Death, though, if you realize quickly enough what’s happening, and start taking steps to liven things up a bit. Following are some danger signs to watch for:

• Having the same date night all the time: This may have been something you started as a couple when you were both so busy that you actually had to pencil in time together. However, having your date night on the same day of the week all the time takes a little zing out of it all. Be a bit more spontaneous.
• You’re always fighting over something: Try being complimentary sometimes instead of nitpicking every little thing. It doesn’t mean that you can’t stand up for yourself; it just means that you need to focus on the positive sometimes, too.
• Sex is routine: Consider having a quickie here and there. There’s nothing quite like spontaneity to put that excited, naughty feeling back into having sex. Don’t let sex become so routine that you start to dread it.
• Your relationship becomes second to your kids: This has a tendency to happen to all couples to some extent. Kids come along and it’s important to nurture and take care of them. This can take a lot of time for many years. Start working to keep your relationship special between the two of you. Give each other an extra hug and kiss when you see each other. It also helps if you can plan some time for just the two of you on a regular basis even if it means hiring a babysitter.
• You forget how to be affectionate with each other: Get creative. Do things like write I Love You on the bathroom mirror in lipstick when you know he’ll be going to take a shower. Write him a naughty love letter and put under his pillow for him to find. Come up with your own ideas.
• Be ready for romance when the time presents itself: Create your very own little Romance Box. Fill it with candles, incense, massage oil, and whatever else the two of you like. In that way, you’ll be ready at a moment’s notice to set the stage for some heavy duty romance.

The important thing to remember once you become a couple is that you’re still two people that have passion and love for each other. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Spend some time reminiscing either alone or together. Many times that walk down Memory Lane can work wonders as some very effective foreplay. Don’t let your relationship suffer from routine overload. Keep it fresh and exciting. Granted, it will never be the same as it was in the beginning, but you can actually make it BETTER when you work together on keeping the romance in your relationship.

Should You Go or Should You Stay? How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up

There are times in any relationship when you may start to question as to whether or not it’s time to end the relationship. Now, every time this feeling hits doesn’t mean that you really do need to break up with your partner. However, if these periods hit more often than not, it may be time to take a long honest look at just what sort of relationship you’re in and whether it’s a happy one or not.  If you’re having trouble figuring it all out, following are some danger signs that tell you it’s over:

• Abuse of any type is a definite reason to end it all. There are no circumstances that are right for you to stay with someone that abuses you physically, emotionally or sexually. There’s someone better waiting for you. But that’s something you can think about later. If your partner is harming you, LEAVE.
• Showing no respect for you, your family, your friends, your space or anything else that’s important to you is another reason to leave. Respect is one of the most vital and basic ingredients of a relationship. If you’re not getting this, it’s time to leave.
• Unenthusiastic sex may not be a huge deal but if you can’t see yourself having sex with only your partner for the rest of your life, it’s a good time to go. Sexual incompatibility isn’t something that can be fixed.
• They don’t offer you any support. It doesn’t matter if your dreams are dumb and unrealistic or not. Your partner should be supporting you in whatever matters to you. If that support isn’t there, this person isn’t worth your time.
• You just don’t feel the love. If you just don’t feel the way you should be feeling after a reasonable length of time, it’s probably not going to happen. Get out before someone gets really hurt.
• If either of you is cheating, there really isn’t a relationship to leave. People in love simply don’t cheat.
• Lying in a relationship is not something that’s good. In addition, a relationship that starts out based on lies was never one to begin with.
• When you start going in different directions rather than moving together in a few of the same ones, your relationship is pretty much doomed. You’ll have nothing in common.
• If you can’t see the relationship growing or going anywhere, don’t waste any more time. A relationship that is kind of dangling in limbo isn’t worth the time or trouble for either of you. It’s too much of an effort to make it work, and that’s not fun for anyone.
• Sometimes you end a relationship just because; no reason, just that there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep it going. When lackadaisical feelings set in, it’s time to end it and look to greener pastures.

These are many signs that a relationship isn’t all it should be. If you’re noticing any of these in your relationship, consider whether or not they can be fixed. Reaching the conclusion that they cannot is all the reason you need to get out.   Hopefully these tips will help you figure out how to know when it’s time to break up.