How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong

So much emphasis is made on finding Mr. Right that sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late. Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:

• He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)
• He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)
• You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)
• So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)
• He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side. (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)
• What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way. (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)
• On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)
• He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)
• He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)

Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.

Dating Safety Tips

When you talk to older people about “the good old days,” they’ll all tell you that things have really changed over the years when it comes to safety. Teens used to date by having a milk shake at the local ice cream shop, or going to a movie and having a hamburger before or after. No one worried so much about things such as date rape, kidnapping and murder because you happened to have agreed to go out with the wrong person. The biggest worries back then were not getting caught at the local Lover’s Lane or missing curfew.

These days, there are so many things to take into consideration when dating someone new. This becomes especially serious when you factor in that there is now online dating and simply carrying over an online connection into a real world meeting can have risks. There are now very real concerns when it comes to dating. This is particularly true with online dating. You should always remember that people can be whoever or whatever they want to be on the Internet. They don’t have to be truthful. The only thing they have to do is to convince someone they’re interested in that they are who they say they are.

Therefore, one of the first things you may want to do if you’re thinking about dating someone you’ve become acquainted with online is make sure that they’re who they say they are. This can be done several ways. One of them is to have them checked out through a private investigator. This is a rather reliable way of ensuring that someone isn’t trying to pull a fast one on you but it can also be rather costly. There are also online services that help you check out someone that are maybe less reliable but are more affordable and better than not checking at all.

Another method you may employ is chatting with them by webcam. In this way, you can at least see them and be able to see what they look like. If you’re good at reading people, seeing them face to face in this way may help you tell if they’re being truthful with you about who they are. Granted, this doesn’t ensure that you’re completely safe but at least you know a little more about who you’ve been chatting with.

If you do decide to meet face to face, always meet the person somewhere. Don’t be giving out directions to your home right away. This first meeting should take place in a very active location with plenty of people around.  You may also want to consider taking a friend with you the first time so that it’s clear that someone knows where you went and who you met there.

If this meeting goes well, and you feel as if you’re comfortable setting up another date, take some more precautions and make sure that your date knows you’re doing so. They may not be thrilled with your safety tactics but they should understand. If they get unreasonable about it, you have every reason to be suspicious and cut off all contact with them.

Basically, use your common sense as well as any intuition you may have, and you should be fine.

Are You REALLY Ready for Marriage?

Amazing as it may seem, many couples are still getting married as young as they did 50 years ago. While most couples wait until they’re settled into a career, many still follow the unwritten rules of long ago when it was common to marry right out of high school.

Indeed, many girls spent their entire senior year in high school planning a June wedding. Their husbands usually had begun the jobs during high school that they would continue to hold until the age of retirement. Some of these marriages lasted. More of them did not.

Fortunately, more women started to attend college and make careers for themselves as time went on. However, something else happened along the way that seems a bit strange.

The maturity of both men and women seems to take longer than it used to. Whereas, years ago, 18 year olds might have been ready for marriage, currently, the maturity level of 25 year olds may not match that of those long ago 18 year olds.
People aren’t made to grow up as quickly as in the past.
That’s why it’s important that couples really need to assess their relationship before they decide if they’re truly ready to make that lifetime commitment to each other.

Marriage is something that should be taken as a serious step in a relationship. Too many couples plan only for the Big Day rather than a life together. There’s no longer the stigma that used to be attached to pre-marital sex. That, alone, caused many couples to rush into a commitment that neither party was ready for. It’s completely acceptable for many couples to live together these days without being legally married.

So why are there still so many couples rushing into marriage at a young age? One of these reasons is still, believe it or not, attached to sex. There are many religious groups that teach against sex outside of marriage even though marriage is more of a legal process than a religious one. Believers of these religions do seem to marry at a young age because of little more than wildly raging hormones. Sadly, the same beliefs that propel these couples into marriage too soon will also keep them together long after their lust is gone because divorce is forbidden.

If you’re an ordinary person with no strict and confining beliefs, there are ways to let you know if you’re ready to commit to one person for the rest of your life. Look at your feelings and intuition when it comes to the person you may be considering a life with. Never ignore anything that feels even a little bit wrong. When you’re ready to marry someone for better or worse, you’ll know it. If you feel even a small doubt, don’t ignore it.

While it’s true that it’s not always possible to foresee larger problems in the future, most of the time you can use what you feel for someone and how you connect to one another as the answer regarding whether or not you’re ready to be married.

Are You Being Played by a Player?

The word “player” doesn’t mean anything positive when it comes to dating and relationships. A lot of guys LIKE the term and are quite flattered to be called that. It’s too bad that they are not mature enough to understand that it’s really NOT a compliment.

A player is, in essence, someone that manipulates, or “plays,” someone else to get what they want from the experience. Guys that wear this label typically hit on lovely women with the intent of getting them into bed at some point during their interaction, be it a night or a month. They win these women over through the sheer force of their personalities or by knowing exactly the right things to say and do.

Among the many negative qualities of a player is the way he reels in his women. He makes the woman of his current interest feel that she is the most beautiful and desirable woman on the face of the planet. Then he continues to build her up and make her the focus of his unwavering attention for however long he wants her around.

Once he’s received everything he wants from the experience, things start to change. This can happen drastically and all at once, or it can start to be noticed a little over time. Either way, the woman is on her way out when this change starts.

Women should do all they can to protect themselves from this type of predator, and make no mistake about it; a predator is exactly what a player is. He may not be physically harming anyone, but he’s certainly making short work of a woman’s self-esteem, not to mention the heartache he injects into her life. A player sucks all the good things that a woman feels about herself right out of her and leaves her feeling like a shell of her former self.

How do you protect yourself from this particular animal? First of all, use your intuition from the very beginning. You know that little feeling that tells you this guy is just TOO GOOD to be true? That’s what you’re going to pay attention to. If he seems to know all the right things to say to you and he is smothering you with all sorts of attention, back up a bit. See if you can find anyone in the vicinity that knows him. If he’s a player, other people will know him because you will have inadvertently stumbled into his territory. Pay close attention to what you find out.

There are some things to watch for, too. If this guy is gorgeous and confident, but other women are avoiding him, there’s a reason for that. You’re probably just a new pastry for him to try out. Supposing that you do get hooked up with him innocently enough, you’ll start to get an idea that he’s a player when his interest starts to cool. If it happens to you, don’t feel bad. Nearly, every woman alive has gone through at least one player in her life. It’s a case of live and learn.