Dealing with Interfering Parents

Parents are meant to look after you and keep you safe. Their job is also to make sure that you grow up to be smart enough to make good decisions for yourself and your life. If they do their job well, then they can safely release you into the world to live your life the way you see fit. This includes choosing the best partners. When your parents let you go, they should trust you to do what’s best for you. However, for many parents, that’s just impossible to do.

These are the parents that you’re literally terrified to take home your latest guy to meet. They tend to always do something that will either embarrass you to death or scare the guy off. Sometimes they manage to do both.

Your father may want to fire questions at your guy about his past, present and what he plans to do in the future. Worse yet, he may actually ask that horrible question of what this guy’s intentions are where you’re concerned. This is always the one that can make you want to crawl into the woodwork.

Your mother may decide that no one is good enough for you nor will there ever be anyone that is. This means that she’s most likely going to find many ways to keep you near her and away from men. Sadly, these are the mothers whose daughters don’t get a chance to live their own lives until the mothers have crossed over into the great beyond. These are unhealthy relationships and certainly don’t help the daughters to have the normal lives they’re meant to have.

Whether or not your parents act like this or worse, there are some ways that you can deal with the situation other than just living on the other side of the world from them and pretending that you’re not in a relationship of any kind. You need to prepare your guy for his first meeting with your parents. This may or may not be simple to do depending on his personality. If he’s understanding, you’ll be able to explain all about your parents to him and he’ll simply follow your lead. If he’s a bit of a wimp, he’ll probably run away as soon as you’ve explained what your parents are like. In that case, it is better that you know now.

Next, talk to your parents. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you won’t tolerate them treating your new guy any way that’s disrespectful. Give them a list of what they may and may not ask him. Warn them that if they do anything to deliberately embarrass you that it will be the last time they ever get to meet another one of your boyfriends. Then, remind them that they have raised you to have good judgment and that they need to trust that you’re using it when selecting the men you date.

When you’ve explained everything to them, that gives them the chance to do the right thing and make you proud by welcoming your new guy into their home. Otherwise, they’re showing you that you have no option but to keep them away from the men in your life.

Admitting That You Are In an Abusive Relationship

Too many women these days allow themselves to be caught up in very unhealthy relationships. Even though women are more enlightened and well educated than ever before, it doesn’t seem to stop them from becoming involved with men that aren’t any good for them. No one can know for sure whether or not the new man they just met and are starting to get to know is going to turn out to have an abusive personality. However, there are some signs that will appear during the course of a relationship that should trigger alarm bells that you are in an abusive relationship.

Once you know that you’ve got yourself into a mess with an abusive man, it then becomes difficult to admit that you allowed this to happen to yourself. Many women deny it and hide it because they don’t want to be embarrassed at what their friends and family will think of them. This is even more pronounced when the friends and/or family warned them against getting involved with this particular man. They just don’t want to hear the words “I told you so.”  While that may seem like a reason to endure your abusive relationship, it’s not a good reason to risk your life. Make no mistake; each day you remain in your abusive relationship is another day that you’re risking your life.

You may already be familiar with the signs of abuse. This man will isolate you from all of your friends and family. He may do it slowly over time or he may do it as soon as you’re married to him, but he WILL do it. He doesn’t want you to have anyone to turn to when he decides to hurt you again. This is something else that’s a bit twisted: he must understand that what he’s doing to you is wrong or he wouldn’t be worried about you telling anyone else. Yet, he’ll blame you each time he hurts you.

There are all sorts of types of abuse in relationships. Of course, there is the physical, which is highly dangerous, but there’s also mental and emotional abuse. In their own way, these can be just as damaging as being hit physically.  This type of abuse erodes self-confidence and self-esteem. You start to doubt your every thought after enough of this abuse.

What you need to do next is seek help from someone that can help you escape. If you have managed to get yourself trapped in an abusive relationship and you feel you have nowhere to go and you don’t have access to any money, there are places that will assist you in getting these things. They will help you if you have children, too.

Don’t think for one second that you’re stuck in this situation. All you have to do is admit that you’re in trouble and contact someone that will help. There are even places that will hide and protect you from your spouse if he’s particularly dangerous. Never believe that you’re better off staying than fleeing. If you do, it just may be carved on your gravestone one day.