The Worst Times to Break Up with Someone

Typically, you can tell when you’re in a relationship that’s really going nowhere, and you can feel when you’re ready to end that relationship. While it’s always good to know where you stand, it’s also wise to realize when the time of the break up is not right. Obviously, breaking up is never going to be easy, but you can make it even worse by choosing the wrong time to end a relationship.

For instance, birthdays are TERRIBLE times to break up with someone. So if you know that you’re going to end a relationship, please do so well BEFORE his birthday or well AFTER it. If you choose the day before, of, or the day after his birthday to break up, it will always leave a bad feeling with him. Every birthday is going to remind him that his relationship ended at that time. So, if you can manage it, time the break up so that it’s a decent amount of time on either side of his birthday and never, ever make it on the birthday itself.

Another awful break up day is Valentine’s Day. This is the day for lovers and couples to celebrate every year. If you decide to end your relationship on this day, you run the risk of ruining it for him for a very long time, if not forever. That’s why knowing when you’re ready to leave a relationship is a good thing as you can time the break up for a day that doesn’t mean anything to either of you.

Holidays should never be used to end a relationship for many reasons. Obviously, one of them is that this particular holiday may never be enjoyable again if the break up is pretty bad.  Another reason is that some people tend to buy expensive and extravagant gifts during the holidays. If you end your relationship prior to the holidays, you can save both you and your about to be ex-partner a lot of money because you most likely won’t be buying gifts for each other. In addition, the holidays just turn into very sad occasions when a relationship ends during them. This is true of the days immediately before and after them.

The basic rule of thumb is to get your break up out of the way as far ahead of any special day as possible. If you can’t do that, then you should try to grin and bear it through the special day and wait at least a couple of weeks afterward before making the big break. In this way, you’re saving someone a lot of misery that could follow him well into the future. You should be kind about the timing of your break up.

The exception to this rule is if your about to be ex is cheating on you and you just found out, or he’s done something even more horrendous. In cases such as those, he DESERVES to be miserable for future special days.

Moping Around Over Your Ex Gets You Nowhere

The breakup of a relationship can be one of the most devastating experiences in anyone’s life. It’s painful and it’s hard to get over. You’re upset and hurt and may even feel that you’ll never meet anyone else again as long as you live. You mope around the house all day and night, crying and remembering all the special times you had together. Your friends and family members may be starting to avoid you if your depressing and negative mood is beginning to wear thin on them.

The first thing you’re going to have to do is snap out of it. Yes, this sounds a lot easier said than done, but if you spend all of your time and energy focusing on being depressed over the breakup or wishing and praying that you’ll get back together, you’ll never be able to move forward in your life. Before you start shaking your head, it’s imperative that you understand something. If your ex wanted the breakup, there was a reason for it. He may even already be involved with someone else. Whatever the reason, odds are against it being the passionate reunion scene that you’re probably playing out in your head over and over again. That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen in a small number of cases and in the movies. It’s just meant to jog you into reality.

While you don’t really want to jump into a rebound situation, there’s certainly no reason for you not to get out there and have some fun. The absolute worst thing you can do is to sit at home and dwell on how unhappy you are. There’s nothing to be gained from this at all. While you’re sitting at home and being depressed over something that isn’t going to be yours again, life is simply passing you by.

If you’re not out making a concerted effort to improve the circumstances of your romantic life, then you’re basically stomping your feet in a mud puddle. You’re not happy, but you’re not moving forward, either. There are things you need to be doing to help yourself feel better.

Go out with friends. You can even go out alone. Stay away from places that will remind you of your ex. Find some new places to love. Don’t keep listening to all of “your songs.”  Again, open the door to some new favorite music that won’t remind you of your ex. Get rid of pictures, letters, or gifts that are associated with your ex. If you don’t want to throw them away, at least pack them up, so they’re not in your sight any longer. You can also give them to a trusted friend to hold onto for them.

Make yourself do these things or you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life. Most likely your ex has moved on. You deserve to be able to do that as well and have a life. So please stop moping and move forward into a happier life.

Why Living in the Past Can Ruin Your Life

When a relationship ends for whatever reason, a lot of people have problems with moving on with their lives. Instead of trying to deal with their pain and heal so they can have a happy future, they mope around and moan and groan about how horrible their lives are. Worse yet, they will spill their misery to everyone that will listen just how awful they were treated during the break up.

There are many ways to tell if you’re one of these people that are refusing to move on. No one wants to subject their friends to this sort of behavior for long periods of time. Sure, your friends will listen to you and do everything they can to help you get through this tough time in your life, but after a while, they’re not going to want to hear nothing EXCEPT your break up and how unhappy you are.

So the first thing you’ll notice is that your friends, even your best friends, are starting to pull away from you. That’s something you should definitely pay attention to.  No, don’t blame it on them. If they’ve been by your side for the last six to twelve months, and all you can do is talk about your ex, chances are pretty good that you’ve worn them out.

Something else that tells you that you’re not moving on is when you spend all of your spare time looking at picture albums of you and your ex and re-reading your diary written when you and your ex were together.  While you sit and go through these things night after night, you’ve got songs on your CD player that were special to you when you were part of a couple. You simply won’t let those things go.

You refuse to go out with friends and have some fun. Instead, you stalk your ex on Facebook and grill your mutual friends for information about your ex. You’re not moving forward with your life when all of your focus is still firmly on your ex and the life that the two of you once had.

The question you need to ask yourself is just how is dwelling in the past going to help you to enjoy a happy future? The answer, whether you want to admit it or not, is that you won’t have a happy future. You’re going to be 80 years old and still alone, spending your days and nights poring over your old photo albums, diaries and listening to songs that are a half century old. Is that really what you want?

When you decide to stay firmly entrenched in the past, there’s simply no way to live happily in the present while moving into a future that’s promising. Living in the past and clinging to a relationship that’s never going to happen again, will gain you nothing except a very lonely and sad existence. Don’t let that happen to yourself. Do what you can to let go of the ex that will never return and open yourself up to all of the romantic possibilities right in front of you.

Surviving a Relationship Break Up

Not all relationships are meant to last. In fact, most of them are simply stepping stones to the main event. Because of this, you’ll most likely experience several relationship break ups as you move through your life. While this is true, it’s also true that each break up will most likely hurt equally and you’ll spend too much time wishing that you could make the pain go away. Believe it or not, there are ways to survive a break up without too much wear and tear on your heart.

First of all, let yourself feel the grief. Many people compare the ending of a relationship to the death of someone they care about. Actually, it IS a sort of death. That’s why you need to deal with the grief that you feel. Give yourself time to absorb the fact that your relationship is over and let that pain wash over you. Then, after a suitable mourning period, take the steps to putting your life back in balance once more.

Don’t turn away your friends. They only want to help and, besides, you’ll need someone to talk to. Friends that you trust can be the best thing that you can do for yourself in your time of pain. They’ll do everything they can to help you move through this negative point in your life because they care about you.  This support will help you immeasurably; so let them be there for you.

Get rid of everything that makes you feel sad all over again about the end of the relationship. This means pictures, gifts, clothing or anything else that you may have kept as a memento of this time in your life. If you can’t bear to totally throw it all away, pack it up and let a friend keep it for you until you’re at a point where you can deal with seeing it again.

Don’t jump right back into the dating game immediately. However, it’s a great idea to go out with friends and have some fun. When you isolate yourself, it only makes things worse. So you need to be out and about with people that care about you.

Try to force some positive thinking. It won’t be easy at first. Actually, it may be impossible. But if you try to think of at least one positive thing every day, you’ll eventually find that these positive thoughts come to you unbidden. Basically, the more you make yourself smile, the easier it will become. Before you know it, these smiles will be genuine.

Just like a death, the ending of a relationship becomes better with time. Sooner or later, you’ll find that you’re thinking about your ex less and less until, finally, one day you’ll go to bed at night and suddenly realize that you didn’t think about the past relationship once all day. That’s when you know that the worst is over. You’re well on your way, then, to completely recovering and moving on with your life.

Breaking Up Can Be Easy

Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many, if not most, are simply stepping stones to the happily ever after relationship that you’ll enjoy at the right time in your life. Admittedly, a lot of break ups are messy and hurt a lot. However, they don’t always have to be that way. This is especially true if the couples involved can see that their relationship has most likely run its course.

Rather than force it and try to resuscitate a dying relationship, it’s usually better to part ways with as much respect for each other as possible. If you stay too long, it will only get worse and you’ll leave hating someone that your sun once set upon.

The first thing to do in a flagging relationship is to gauge just how bad things are and decide if there’s a chance to repair any damage that’s been done. If the answer is yes, then your next step is to begin what you need to do to get things back on track. Many times a relationship can just derail for some reason and there’s still hope that it can be put back together. You and your partner need to decide if that’s the case with your relationship.

The next thing you need to decide is whether or not you care enough to put the effort, energy and work needed to repair your relationship. Believe it or not, sometimes you just fall out of love with someone. It’s not something that either of you did. It’s just something that is. This is another of those cases where you don’t resuscitate it if it’s truly dead. Neither of you will get anything positive from this. Part as friends while you still can.

Sometimes the actions of a partner can lead you to the decision of ending the relationship. This can be many things:

• Some partners pack up and leave every time there’s an argument. Of course, they always come back but, seriously, who wants to go through that all the time?
• Others are abusive in different ways, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional or verbal. No one deserves to have to put up with that.
• Then there are the partners that just can’t seem to stop cheating. Obviously, then, you and your relationship aren’t very important to your partner.

Actually, any or all of these actions that are performed repeatedly can erode any feelings of love that you thought you had for this person. Believe it or not, their actions are helping you to make a hard decision that much easier.

Breakups can be easy once you realize that’s what needs to happen. In fact, that can sometimes be all that you need to find the words to say and the strength to walk away. Depending on the reasons for the breakup, it may even be possible to remain friends, or to become friends at some point in the future. Many times you have to follow your head rather than your heart because your head usually knows what you have to do. All you need to do is just listen to what it’s telling you.

How to NOT Get Your Ex Back

When a break up happens, there are plenty of avenues to travel down in trying to get him back. You’ve probably heard all about them. However, you need to know that there are some very definite things that you should NOT do if you hope to ever have a chance of reconciling with your ex. If you choose to ignore these tried and true tips, you probably won’t get your ex back and you may as well move on with your life.

The first thing you should do is let your ex believe that you’ve accepted his decision. Let him believe that you, too, feel that parting is probably the best thing to do and let him go. This is a very important first step. Don’t beg or plead for him to stay. You can do your screaming, cursing and crying after he’s safely out of ear-shot.

At first, let him believe that you agree with him.  Don’t keep trying to communicate with him, and don’t let him communicate with you. Sometimes that makes it easier for him to stay broken up with you because he knows that you’ll still be there for him if he needs you. That’s something that you should take care of instantly, even if you must tell him out right that you won’t be staying in touch with him. If you’re not in contact, then he’s going to have a better chance of missing you.

Don’t stay in and hibernate. Give yourself a few days to mourn the demise of the relationship and then start getting out again. Call the friend you trust the most and make a date to go out. Even if you don’t feel in the best of moods yet, go anyway. Make yourself at least try to have some fun. Word will get around that you’re out and about, which is just what you want to happen.

Don’t let yourself go. In fact, if you’ve been thinking about all of the improvements that you can make to yourself, now is the perfect time to do them. Start eating healthier, work out more and get a new hair style. When you go out to try to have some fun, you’ll also look great and word of the brand new you will filter its way back to your ex.

Don’t say no to dating. Obviously, you don’t want to mislead anyone, but maybe you’ve got a guy friend or two that will want to spend some time with you. Both of you pay for each other so that it’s not a real date but your ex won’t know that when word of seeing you out and about with a new guy gets back to him.

If you can refrain from doing all of these things, you stand a much better chance of getting back together with your ex. These are all things that are pretty much guaranteed to at least get his interest up. Soon enough, he’ll be at your door again.

These tips are a good start to getting your ex back.  If you are working on them but feel you could still use  some additional coaching, then we encourage you to check out the M3 System to really rev-up your strategy to get your ex back.  Be sure to read our M3 System review today.

Is it Wrong to Hook up with your Best friends Ex?

Many couples today aren’t exactly solid when they get together. In fact, more of them break up than stay together. The interesting phenomenon that seems to be forming from all of this breaking up is the pairing of best friends and their exes.

The most recent of these to be in the public eye is that of singer Shania Twain. Her very best friend was having an affair with Shania’s husband while she was still friends with Shania. When it all came out, eventually Shania ended up married to her ex-best friend’s former husband. He and Shania basically consoled each other right into a full blown relationship. Shania went through a bad time but came out on the other side a whole new woman. Incidentally, she and her former friend are no longer keeping company at all.

That’s a bit of an extreme situation even in Celebrity Land, but it’s much more common than people think that exes and best friends hook up. The question is whether or not this is the best idea. Granted, each situation is unique so obviously you can’t say that there’s a right or wrong answer to this question across the board. However, as a general rule it’s a bad idea to do hook up with your best friend’s ex.

Think of it in terms of privacy, first of all. Once your best friend has been dating and probably having sex with someone, you probably know all sorts of personal things about this person since best friends tend to talk to each other about most things. There’s a bit of an “ick factor” to that and it may, or may not bother you. But it’s still something to think about. Do you really want to be where your friend has been?

Then there are the inevitable comparisons between you and your friend that the ex can’t help but draw. You may even experience that unhappy situation when the ex calls you by your friend’s name at a very inopportune moment. Nothing is going to make THAT any better.

Another consideration is what sort of terms did your friend and the ex part on? Did they part as friends or was it an ugly battle? This is something that you have to think about seriously because if you decide to hook up with the ex, it may cause a massive rift between you and your friend. That’s when you’ll need to figure out just how much the friendship means to you. If it means that you’re going to lose a good friend if you take on the ex, will it be worth it?  That’s what you really need decide before going any further with a possible relationship.

On the other hand, if your friend tells you that it’s perfectly ok for you to form a connection with the ex, and you’re POSITIVE it really IS ok, there’s no reason for you not to go ahead with things. If you don’t, you may always have that “what if” question floating around in your head.

Journaling to Deal With a Breakup

The end of a relationship can be one of the most painful and devastating experiences of your life. It’s hard to know how to handle pain that’s as severe as this can be. You may want to scream, cry and break things. That’s a natural response and it may even be encouraged as long as you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process.

However, there is another way to help yourself get through this very rough time and it’s probably something you never thought of. This particular aid to your grief is called journaling.

Writing has always been known to be very therapeutic because you’re getting your feelings out even if they aren’t directed at the person you feel has hurt you. The good thing, though, is that you can say anything you want. Whatever you’re thinking and feeling, you can write it down for your eyes only. No one else will see what you’ve written unless you decide to show it to someone else. Having a journal that you can write in is something that can make you feel a lot better once you’ve gotten everything out of your system.

Journaling is also very helpful when your ex refuses to talk to you anymore or have any contact at all with you. This enables you to write out everything that you’re feeling about having been discarded and abandoned. You can be brutally honest in your journal about what happened.

This is particularly helpful if you were the one that was actually at fault. For instance, if you cheated on your ex and got caught, this is a great place to rationalize why you cheated on someone that you truly love. Maybe by writing it all out, you can come to a conclusion as to why it all happened.

If you are the partner that was wronged, writing it down is a great way to work through everything. Try to analyze why these things happened to you and what part you may have played in the break up. Look at it from all angles and see what you could have done differently. As you’re figuring all this out, write it down so that you can see in front of you what mistakes you don’t need to repeat.

Many times, just taking the time to write in a journal will clarify things in a way that you may not have seen if you had not taken the time to write it all down. You may learn some very important things in doing this. When you see mistakes that have been made, it’s easier to not repeat those. You may even spot problematic patterns that keep rearing their ugly heads over and over again. If you can do that, you’ll head off a lot of unforeseeable relationship issues.

If you’ve just been through a difficult breakup, or even if the breakup happened a long time ago and you’re not over it, write about it in your journal. No matter how long or short it’s been since your breakup, writing about it in your journal can still offer some much needed help.

If you’ve been journaling for a while and feel you want to make a go of getting your ex back, The M3 System is a great coach for going about this in exactly the right way to ensure the best possible chance for success.  Click here to check out our M3 System Review.

Are You SURE You Want Your Ex Back?

The time honored phrase “Your ex is an ex for a reason” is one that makes a lot more sense than people generally give it credit for. Following a break up, you may feel as if you want to die and that you’ll never find love again. Your fondest wish may be to get back together as soon as possible. However, before you go rushing off to get on your knees and beg forgiveness for a perceived wrong, take a few minutes to consider what you’re about to do.

What was the reason for the break up? Did one of you cheat? If that’s the case, it may not be so easily repaired and you may simply want to close the door on the entire relationship. When cheating is involved, even if you’re able to reconcile, the trust is destroyed and the relationship will never be what it should be. However, if that’s what happened and both of you really want to try it again, you must be ready to put the past firmly behind you.

Did the two of you just start to drift away from each other, or grow in different directions? This may or may not be resolvable. That’s up to you and your ex. Many times, though, when you go in separate directions in your lives, your relationship is just not going to work out. It may be possible to be friends at some point, but your time as lovers is most likely past.

If your relationship was characterized by violence, that’s a definite reason to end it and never look back. A violent relationship is not love. It’s hard to figure out a name to put to this type of coupling, but love doesn’t enter into it. Therefore, this is an ex that you don’t want to ever return to. This is a totally unhealthy interaction and you need something that’s more stable in order to be happy.

Relationships that brought you nothing positive are better off left buried in the past. So, even though you may THINK you want your ex back, consider carefully the reasons that you broke up. Once you’ve gone through those reasons in an honest fashion, you may be shocked at just how relieved you feel that you’re no longer having to go through these things anymore.

Sometimes it takes being OUT of a relationship to understand just how unhealthy or controlling it was for you. That’s why you need to understand that just because a relationship has ended for you, it doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily a bad thing.

Instead, it may be giving you the opportunity to get out there and find the person you were REALLY meant to be with. A wrong relationship can keep you restricted and will hinder you from finding the right relationship that has been waiting for you all along. Don’t try to force the return of an ex that may have been all wrong for you from day one. Your ex just may possibly be an ex for a reason.

After carefully considering all of the reasons why you broke up and you still feel you want to make a go of getting your ex back, we recommend that you check out our review of the M3 System for the best possible chance of getting them back for good.

Should You Go or Should You Stay? How to Know When It’s Time to Break Up

There are times in any relationship when you may start to question as to whether or not it’s time to end the relationship. Now, every time this feeling hits doesn’t mean that you really do need to break up with your partner. However, if these periods hit more often than not, it may be time to take a long honest look at just what sort of relationship you’re in and whether it’s a happy one or not.  If you’re having trouble figuring it all out, following are some danger signs that tell you it’s over:

• Abuse of any type is a definite reason to end it all. There are no circumstances that are right for you to stay with someone that abuses you physically, emotionally or sexually. There’s someone better waiting for you. But that’s something you can think about later. If your partner is harming you, LEAVE.
• Showing no respect for you, your family, your friends, your space or anything else that’s important to you is another reason to leave. Respect is one of the most vital and basic ingredients of a relationship. If you’re not getting this, it’s time to leave.
• Unenthusiastic sex may not be a huge deal but if you can’t see yourself having sex with only your partner for the rest of your life, it’s a good time to go. Sexual incompatibility isn’t something that can be fixed.
• They don’t offer you any support. It doesn’t matter if your dreams are dumb and unrealistic or not. Your partner should be supporting you in whatever matters to you. If that support isn’t there, this person isn’t worth your time.
• You just don’t feel the love. If you just don’t feel the way you should be feeling after a reasonable length of time, it’s probably not going to happen. Get out before someone gets really hurt.
• If either of you is cheating, there really isn’t a relationship to leave. People in love simply don’t cheat.
• Lying in a relationship is not something that’s good. In addition, a relationship that starts out based on lies was never one to begin with.
• When you start going in different directions rather than moving together in a few of the same ones, your relationship is pretty much doomed. You’ll have nothing in common.
• If you can’t see the relationship growing or going anywhere, don’t waste any more time. A relationship that is kind of dangling in limbo isn’t worth the time or trouble for either of you. It’s too much of an effort to make it work, and that’s not fun for anyone.
• Sometimes you end a relationship just because; no reason, just that there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep it going. When lackadaisical feelings set in, it’s time to end it and look to greener pastures.

These are many signs that a relationship isn’t all it should be. If you’re noticing any of these in your relationship, consider whether or not they can be fixed. Reaching the conclusion that they cannot is all the reason you need to get out.   Hopefully these tips will help you figure out how to know when it’s time to break up.

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