Signs that Your Woman is Cheating on You

Everyone knows that men cheat all the time. It’s almost like it’s in their DNA or something. If it’s genetic, they just can’t help themselves, right?  While that’s probably a lot of nonsense, something else to consider is that women also cheat. They may not cheat quite as much as men, but they DO step out on their men for various reasons. Sometimes they’re better at hiding it than their cheating male counterparts, though. There are signs, however, that you can look for if you think your woman may be cheating on you. They include:

• Accusing YOU of cheating: This is a way of diverting the guilt from herself to you. Even worse, is if you’ve cheated on her before, she may give herself permission to get even with you by cheating. Either way, she knows what she’s done and figures that you may be doing the same thing.
• Starting to look her best when she goes out: When you notice your partner suddenly dressing to the nines when she’s supposedly going grocery shopping or to the gym, you may want to investigate why she needs to look so gorgeous.
• Telling you she needs some space: While this doesn’t always mean she’s cheating, it can mean that she wants you out of the way so she’ll be free to meet a lover.
• Hinting that she’s not happy: If your partner is telling you things like she needs more romance in her life, and that she loves things like getting flowers and love notes, you need to take her seriously. You see, if YOU don’t hear what she’s telling you, someone ELSE WILL.
• Making a new best friend that you’ve never met: In this case, it’s not so much that she’s made a new best friend and you’ve never met this friend, it’s that she’s suddenly spending lots of time with this new friend. In addition, she always has an excuse for why it’s not a good time to meet her.
• Changing her plans at the very last minute: For example, she’s gone out for a night on the town with the new best friend that you’ve never met and calls you around midnight with some excuse for why she’s just going to crash at her friend’s place for the night.
• Your friends are telling you she’s cheating: Of course you don’t want to believe something like that, and she’s told you it’s not true. However, if more than one person tells you they know she’s cheating, it’s probably true.
• Suddenly wanting to keep close tabs on you: When your woman is cheating on you, she needs to make sure that she’s not likely to run into you while she’s doing it.
• Making excuses for not having sex: This should be a huge red flag, especially if she was always raring to go in the past. Now, all of a sudden, she’s too tired, doesn’t feel well, or has the most frequent and longest periods in history.
• Has no interest in the relationship: She probably doesn’t care enough to even argue with you anymore.

You may think that these are all pretty obvious signs of cheating but you would be surprised at how many of them that men actually miss.

How to Tell if He’s Mr. Wrong

So much emphasis is made on finding Mr. Right that sometimes it’s hard to see that it’s Mr. Wrong you’re having a drink with. While some of the signs are rather obvious, there are other ones that sort of get bypassed until it’s almost too late. Keep a look out for these signs that he’s Mr. Wrong:

• He talks about all the strange sex he’s had through the years and then tells you that he’s so happy you live nearby because now the two of you can get together for casual sex. (Seriously?)
• He mentions during conversation that you look so young, and then quickly follows that with how much he loves young girls. (Should you leave immediately or call the cops?)
• You’re in bed with an older, European man and having a pretty good time. Suddenly, you realize he’s wearing panties. He might just be kinky or he might be sleazy. (Since it’s hard to tell, you may want to use your intuition.)
• So you’re out with a guy at a theme park and he wins a huge stuffed animal. You think he should give it to you or to some little kid but he petulantly refuses and carries it around the rest of the day. The stuffed animal has its own seat between you on the plane going home. (What a big baby!)
• He’s got a low class job that he’s been doing because it’s fun for several years, yet he seems to always have plenty of money. It’s a good chance that he’s doing something shady on the side. (You don’t need to take any chances with this one.)
• What about the guys that want to control everything you do? For example, he instructs you on the “correct” way to hold your knife and fork while you eat and demands that you start eating “his” way. (Just because he’s from another country doesn’t mean his way is the only way.)
• On your first date, he takes you to dinner along with his mother. (Sure, a man needs to love his mother, but this feels more like a Mommy’s Boy.)
• He actually POUTS when he doesn’t get his way. (Do you WANT to be in a relationship with a child?)
• He makes snide remarks about all of your friends, and he’s not even all that careful about them not hearing him. (He’s already trying to control you by alienating you from your friends. This is sort of scary.)

Some of these are obvious and others aren’t so obvious. That’s why you need to pay close attention in the beginning when you’re dating someone new. If you notice something that seems a bit “off,” don’t assume that it’s nothing and that you’re just overreacting. That’s rarely the case. Keep in mind that when you’re able to spot Mr. Wrong early on, you won’t waste any more time on him when you could be out searching for Mr. Right. Do yourself a favor and don’t let new guys get away with anything that bothers you or makes you unhappy.

Signs that Your Guy is One to Keep

There are plenty of signs that let you know the guy you’re dating or are in a relationship with is Mr. Wrong. In fact, you may focus too much on trying to spot those signs that you totally miss the ones that let you know your guy’s a keeper. To make it easier to see those signs, check out the following:

• He puts you first: A man that’s truly committed to you and your relationship will make you a top priority in his life. He continues to show you that he loves you and is devoted to you and the relationship.
• He’s there for you when you need him: When you get in a tough spot, a man that really loves you will be there supporting you. He’ll be there to hold your hand or hold you up.
• He likes your quirkiness: The man you want to keep will love you because he treasures your abilities and overlooks your flaws. In fact, he may even love your flaws.
• He always shows you just how much he cares: The most important part of relationships is how your man treats you. He doesn’t have to send you dozens of red roses all the time. It’s more the little things like taking your car to fill it with gas for you or emailing you to wish you luck on something at work.
• He’s kind: You’ve probably always heard that actions speak louder than words, and this applies to how you’re treated in relationships, too.  If he’s respectful to his parents, polite to food servers and gentle with animals, then he’s an all-around nice guy. The best part is when he’s kind even though he thinks no one is looking.
• He’s reliable: You know you can depend on him and take him at his word. These kinds of men are pretty hard to find these days.
• He wants to marry you, too: There’s a huge problem when only one of you wants to get married. If he wants a life and family with you, you’ve got a keeper for sure.
• He can deal with your emotions: Women are just more emotional than men, for the most part. A man you want to keep will know how to deal with yours and will never call you “crazy” or tell you that you act “just like your (or his) mother.”
• He fights maturely: The way a man deals with any conflict thrown his way shows a lot about his character. A man you want to keep expresses his feelings, asks for things he wants and can handle constructive criticism without throwing a tantrum. He’s also a good listener.
• He’s a mature grown-up: There should actually be a drum roll and fireworks around this one. For whatever reason, too many men in the world today are just immature. They stalled out somewhere along the way from childhood to adulthood and are still stuck. If you’re with a man that’s competent and responsible, be sure to hang on tight to him. He may be the only one of these you meet in life.

If your man has even SOME of these qualities, you’re probably doing pretty well. Just choose the ones that are most important to you and don’t except anything less.

Signs That You’re Being Emotionally Abused

Too many relationships these days fall into the category of being abusive. This doesn’t always have to involve physical harm. There are also such things as emotional and verbal abuse and these are far more common. This sort of abuse doesn’t leave any outer scars. All of the damage is done on the inside. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship and not realize it. Look over the following signs and see if you fit in with any of them:

• You’ve been isolated from your family and friends: This is a classic sign of an emotionally abusive partner. The first thing they want to do is keep you from interacting with anyone outside of themselves. They don’t want you to be able to tell anyone else what’s being done to you.
• Your partner is verbally abusive to you: Whenever someone calls you terrible names, it’s meant to hurt you and keep you in line. Abusive partners will blame you for being too sensitive and not being able to take a joke. They tend to be able to convince you that this is normal and you’re the one with the problem.
• He blames everyone else for his problems: This is a really bad sign, especially if you’re the main one he or she blames. When they throw tantrums and verbally attack you, they’ll say it’s your fault. A healthy relationship has both parties taking responsibility for things.
• Drug and alcohol use: Not every abuser has to be addicted to something, but it certainly makes things worse. Addicts are typically erratic and display inappropriate behavior that can turn violent.
• Makes you afraid: If you’re afraid of your partner, something is definitely not right. Abusers use fear to intimidate you and if you’re afraid, you’re being abused.
• Metes out punishment for being away from him: This goes hand in hand with isolating you from family and friends. He wants you all to himself. So if you do go somewhere and leave him at home, he’s going to be very irate. He may even act out when he goes along because there were other people there and he had to share you.
• You’re expected to wait on him hand, foot and bedpan: Abusive men feel entitled to be treated like royalty and they expect you to be their submissive servant.  They’re not going to help you, ever.
• He’s insanely jealous of you: Jealousy is a prominent trait exhibited by abusers. They’re jealous over other people paying attention to you, over you paying attention to them, and even over your goals and dreams. They don’t feel as if they can control those parts of your life so they go crazy.
• He’s very manipulative and controls you by his emotions: If an abuser doesn’t get his way, he’ll pout, threaten to leave, or wield emotional punishment on you. He’ll also use guilt. If you finally reach the end of your rope, he’ll beg you not to leave, crying and promising to change. His “remorse” doesn’t last very long and as soon as you’ve given in, he’ll return to his abusive ways.

Sadly, these can lead up to eventual physical abuse if you let things continue. The best idea is to get out of this relationship fast and don’t ever look back.

Admitting That You Are In an Abusive Relationship

Too many women these days allow themselves to be caught up in very unhealthy relationships. Even though women are more enlightened and well educated than ever before, it doesn’t seem to stop them from becoming involved with men that aren’t any good for them. No one can know for sure whether or not the new man they just met and are starting to get to know is going to turn out to have an abusive personality. However, there are some signs that will appear during the course of a relationship that should trigger alarm bells that you are in an abusive relationship.

Once you know that you’ve got yourself into a mess with an abusive man, it then becomes difficult to admit that you allowed this to happen to yourself. Many women deny it and hide it because they don’t want to be embarrassed at what their friends and family will think of them. This is even more pronounced when the friends and/or family warned them against getting involved with this particular man. They just don’t want to hear the words “I told you so.”  While that may seem like a reason to endure your abusive relationship, it’s not a good reason to risk your life. Make no mistake; each day you remain in your abusive relationship is another day that you’re risking your life.

You may already be familiar with the signs of abuse. This man will isolate you from all of your friends and family. He may do it slowly over time or he may do it as soon as you’re married to him, but he WILL do it. He doesn’t want you to have anyone to turn to when he decides to hurt you again. This is something else that’s a bit twisted: he must understand that what he’s doing to you is wrong or he wouldn’t be worried about you telling anyone else. Yet, he’ll blame you each time he hurts you.

There are all sorts of types of abuse in relationships. Of course, there is the physical, which is highly dangerous, but there’s also mental and emotional abuse. In their own way, these can be just as damaging as being hit physically.  This type of abuse erodes self-confidence and self-esteem. You start to doubt your every thought after enough of this abuse.

What you need to do next is seek help from someone that can help you escape. If you have managed to get yourself trapped in an abusive relationship and you feel you have nowhere to go and you don’t have access to any money, there are places that will assist you in getting these things. They will help you if you have children, too.

Don’t think for one second that you’re stuck in this situation. All you have to do is admit that you’re in trouble and contact someone that will help. There are even places that will hide and protect you from your spouse if he’s particularly dangerous. Never believe that you’re better off staying than fleeing. If you do, it just may be carved on your gravestone one day.

Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

Loving Someone You Can Never Have

There’s nothing quite as painful as unrequited love. Just ask anyone that’s ever been in love with someone they knew they could never have. This is a situation that can happen to both men and women, and there’s no less pain involved for one than the other. If you’re in this situation, you’ll find that you recognize all of the signs and symptoms.

The person that’s captured your heart is all you seem to think about on a daily basis. You’re not even really interested in dating anyone else because, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve found the one you love and that’s not going to change. You may have even settled down into a rather complacent state where your pain is kept to a numb state. This means that you’re not sitting around crying or moping but you do daydream about this person all the time and fantasize about how, one day, the two of you will be together.

Most likely, you have all sorts of scenarios worked out where he or she suddenly realizes that you’re the one. It’s all probably very romantic with symphonic music swelling in the background.

You may feel that it is fine for you to live in this dream world but it’s actually not fine at all. In fact, you must do everything you can to let go of this fantasy and get on with having a real life. It is time to get this situation under control so that you can find someone that’s meant to be with you. This is the only way you will experience true happiness.

First of all, stop thinking about this person. Simply refuse to let him or her enter your thoughts. When you find yourself slipping and thinking of this person, FORCE yourself to think of something else. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the fantasy. This is the first step in accepting that you will never be with this person for whatever reason.

He or she may be in a committed relationship with someone else or even married. The fantasy person may even be someone that you knew years ago and never moved past. Get a grip and come back to reality.

If you can clear your environment of everything that reminds you of your dream lover, that will help even more. Don’t listen to music that carries you in the direction of more day dreams and fantasies. This is going to require a lot of self-discipline.

If you feel that you’re not strong enough to handle it on your own, enlist the aid of a good friend to keep you grounded. It is almost like having an AA or NA sponsor. You call this person whenever you‘re having a weak moment and they talk you through it.

Do your best to be realistic. Seriously, if you’ve been carrying a torch for this person for, say 10 years, it’s TIME to take back control of your life and face the fact that you’re just never going to have this person. Let go and allow your heart to be free to love the right person for you.

Dealing with an Addictive Relationship

You may or may not recognize being in an addictive relationship. The symptoms will be clear but, just like all addicts; you won’t necessarily acknowledge the addiction. It is not easy to deal with this kind of relationship once you’re solidly in it. These relationships don’t produce happiness. In fact, you’ll most likely be miserable with feelings of pain, regret and guilt. You may also be a little angry, bitter and sad.

Addictive relationships are some of the most destructive forces you’ll ever face, and it gets worse the longer it lasts. The hardest part is to admit to yourself that you’re in an addictive relationship. However, it’s the first important step to take. An addictive relationship only makes you stressed and you won’t feel loved or cared for. It just makes you feel worthless, tired, with no self-esteem while making you desperate for affection.

Sadly, addictive relationships are all too common. The reasons they develop are many and varied. You may have watched your parents’ relationship when you were young and thought that was normal even if it wasn’t. Also, you may have not had love and affection when you were a child and you feel it’s normal to be treated this way in a relationship.

If you want to make some positive changes in your life, you’ve got to admit what you’re involved in. It’s common to be in denial and you need to be honest with yourself. If you’re not sure if your relationship is addictive or not, ask yourself if you make excuses for the way your partner behaves or cover up his or her bad behavior to others. If this is normal behavior for you, most likely your relationship is addictive.

When you know this, it’s hoped that you’ll want out of it. The first thing you should do is talk about it. Tell your story to friends or family, if you can. Seek out a relationship counselor.

Sometimes fear keeps you paralyzed. This can be fear that you’ll never find anyone else to love, fear of starting over, fear of getting involved with the same type of partner or fearing that you’ll be alone. Don’t ever fall into the trap of believing that a bad relationship is better than none at all. While you heal from this destructive relationship, your confidence and self-esteem can rebuild.

The most important part of recovering from emotional addiction is to make yourself the priority. Invest time into breaking all of your old bad habits. Look back on previous relationships to find signs of emotional abuse or dependency. If you spot a pattern forming, it’s time to break that as well. Concentrate on what you need and on moving forward. This will help you break those chains of negativity.

Trying to get love from someone who can’t give it is truly pointless. You’ve got to regain control over yourself as well as your environment. That’s when you can break the destructive pattern of addictive relationships and start over.

When is it Time to Throw in the Towel in a Relationship?

Too many people try to stay together when it’s clear to both parties that there’s nothing between them any longer. The reasons for this are many and varied. It could be that they don’t want people to know they failed, or they can’t stand the idea of failing themselves.

Time invested in the relationship can be another issue. If you’ve been with someone for 10 years or more, then you probably hate to think that you’ve wasted so many years of your life with someone that you’re not going to end up with forever, after all.

No matter what the reasons are that you’re hanging on to a dead relationship, you need to seriously consider whether or not it’s time to throw in the towel and walk away. Many times, the relationship may not be dead. It just may be in a coma and you need to find ways to revive it. As many of the signs for a comatose relationship and a dead relationship can appear to be the same at first, you’ll need to spend some time in assessing your relationship to see which category it falls into.

If you and your partner just aren’t connecting any longer, it may be time to see if the spark can be reignited before instantly assuming that you’re not in love anymore. It simply may be time to “test” the relationship a bit to see whether it can be salvaged or not. You may be shocked to find out that there’s a lot of love still there.

Your check list for whether or not your relationship is over includes:

• Do you still get that little jolt of happiness when you see your partner after having been apart, or is it a feeling of dread that lies in the pit of your stomach?
• Do you miss your partner when you’re away from each other, or is it a time of relief and relaxation for you?
• Do you have actual conversations about things other than the weather, bills, or the kids?
• Do the two of you make plans to do romantic things together?
• Is sex still fun or is it a chore?
• Do you still feel a positive connection to each other that’s almost spiritual in nature, or do you simply tolerate each other?
• Have either or both of you developed a wandering eye when you should be focused on each other?
• Have either of you cheated?
• How do you feel when you think about being without your partner forever?

As you move down this list, answer these questions as honestly as possible. It’s important that your answers are truthful. Otherwise, this exercise won’t work. Your answers will be very “telling” as to whether or not your relationship is over or simply needs a bit of work to get it back on track. Whatever your decision is, you need to be committed to following it through for the sake of both of you. It’s the only way to reclaim personal happiness.