Loving Someone You Can Never Have

There’s nothing quite as painful as unrequited love. Just ask anyone that’s ever been in love with someone they knew they could never have. This is a situation that can happen to both men and women, and there’s no less pain involved for one than the other. If you’re in this situation, you’ll find that you recognize all of the signs and symptoms.

The person that’s captured your heart is all you seem to think about on a daily basis. You’re not even really interested in dating anyone else because, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve found the one you love and that’s not going to change. You may have even settled down into a rather complacent state where your pain is kept to a numb state. This means that you’re not sitting around crying or moping but you do daydream about this person all the time and fantasize about how, one day, the two of you will be together.

Most likely, you have all sorts of scenarios worked out where he or she suddenly realizes that you’re the one. It’s all probably very romantic with symphonic music swelling in the background.

You may feel that it is fine for you to live in this dream world but it’s actually not fine at all. In fact, you must do everything you can to let go of this fantasy and get on with having a real life. It is time to get this situation under control so that you can find someone that’s meant to be with you. This is the only way you will experience true happiness.

First of all, stop thinking about this person. Simply refuse to let him or her enter your thoughts. When you find yourself slipping and thinking of this person, FORCE yourself to think of something else. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the fantasy. This is the first step in accepting that you will never be with this person for whatever reason.

He or she may be in a committed relationship with someone else or even married. The fantasy person may even be someone that you knew years ago and never moved past. Get a grip and come back to reality.

If you can clear your environment of everything that reminds you of your dream lover, that will help even more. Don’t listen to music that carries you in the direction of more day dreams and fantasies. This is going to require a lot of self-discipline.

If you feel that you’re not strong enough to handle it on your own, enlist the aid of a good friend to keep you grounded. It is almost like having an AA or NA sponsor. You call this person whenever you‘re having a weak moment and they talk you through it.

Do your best to be realistic. Seriously, if you’ve been carrying a torch for this person for, say 10 years, it’s TIME to take back control of your life and face the fact that you’re just never going to have this person. Let go and allow your heart to be free to love the right person for you.